Fresh Start
12 Secrets for Abundant Living
This week we are continuing in our series for the New Year - 12 secrets for abundant living. Well it looks like we are going to spend one more week here. I tried to fit both these last pieces into the puzzle but really needed to do them one at a time to do justice to the topics. So can you handle one more week of abundant living? Good! Remember that this whole series is based on 3 very important principles.
1. God has a plan for your life - Jeremiah 29:11 says “I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”
2. There is a battle engaged for your life - Jesus said in John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”
3. Too many of God’s people are losing the battle - Marriages, children, finances, life.
For a summary of the first 10 you can look at the back of your notes sheet or you can catch up by asking JR for tapes of the series. Today we are going to look together at secret number 11.
Secret # 11 - If you want an abundant life - Do Your HOMEwork! - You know I have come to understand that life’s abundance and also its discordance starts at home. Studies tell us that women get their primary value and esteem from relationships and men from work - but I’m telling you the truth today - what I’ve found out over the years is “If mamma aint happy aint nobody happy.” What I am trying to tell you is that home is the platform of life - when it’s stable everything else in life is easier to manage. When things are going all wrong here - I know I can go home to a family that loves me.
Understand that I am talking about HomeWORK - an abundant home does not happen by accident -nor does it happen without intentional work. I think that is why we become so disillusioned in marriage - it’s so easy to fall in “love” - to find those warm fuzzy feelings for someone - but making it work for a lifetime is really hard. So here are some suggestions for finding abundance in your home.
• Develop a stable base of operations - In Iraq they call it the green zone. In Bagdad it’s commonly referred to as the "Ultimate Gated Community" due to the numerous armed checkpoints, coils of razor wire, chain link fences, and the fact it is surrounded by "T-Walls" (reinforced and blast-proof concrete slabs). It’s a place of safety and security in a war torn country. Inside the green zone you don’t have to watch your back every second, you can close your eyes to sleep, and your head doesn’t have to be on a constant swivel. We need to develop a green zone in our homes. A place where it’s safe to live. Jesus said in Luke 11:17 “Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and a house divided against itself falls.” Now granted he was talking about a greater concept in the case of nations but the principle holds. Any house divided against itself will fall. We need to develop rules of conduct that keep our homes safe - no name calling - no violence - no harmful outbursts - no mean spirited taunting - look folks the world is full of people who can abuse you - why do you want to bring it home? Set your home as a safe zone - build walls against the enemy and checkpoints at the doors.
• Develop a Team concept - Any successful team is built on encouragement, cooperation, spirit, friendship, and loyalty. Teams win. You will find that on the best teams of any kind in history there are few stars - what you find is a bunch of people who work together to get the job done. Here is what I mean by this. We have developed the idea of marriages being 50/50. You do your part and I’ll do mine. If you want to be successful you need to develop an all in strategy. What I mean is that you give all you’ve got not just your part. If you see that the job needs doing - do it no matter who is supposed to. Read Proverbs 31 - I’m not going to take the time to do it this morning but you are going to find an “all in” attitude. If it has to be done it has to be done - let’s just get it done and stop wasting time and energy fighting over whose job it is. In a family we all have to pitch in if we are going to get where we are going. That’s what it means to be a family.
• Communicate, communicate, communicate - Stop talking at each other and start talking to each other. This is really tough because we communicate so differently. Men communicate in headlines - ladies in fine print. The key though is to really talk to each other. This is perhaps the most difficult part of relationships. Hurts, fears, anger, disappointment all become barriers to communication, leading to isolation and loneliness in our homes. A study at Cornell University showed that the average father spends 38 seconds per day being totally attentive to his children’s needs and about 20 minutes a day being partially attentive. The same children spend 54 hours per week watching television. Another study indicated that the average church-going teenager spends only two minutes per day in dialogue with his/her father. Twenty-five percent of these same teenagers say they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father, that is, a conversation that focused on their interests. Deut 4:4-6 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
• Be Committed to a Godly home - Psalm 127:1 - Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain. Make worship your priority. Make speaking the truth of God your hearts desire. Make living out the love of God your family mission. Worship together, serve together, pray together. It’s in these places that you will secure for your family not worldly abundance but the abundance of eternal life.
• Live your covenant - Most of you when you were married spoke words like this “I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward for better, for worse for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live.” My question for you is what part of that covenant did you not mean? Friends our covenant should mean something. You see for me divorce is not an option - it’s not on the table - good bad, sickness health, rich or poor - we are in this together and if it’s broken that just means I have to get in there and fix it. I am obviously not saying that divorce never happens - I am also not trying to condemn anyone who has been divorced - the past is the past - What I am trying to do is give you something for your future. Live your covenant.
• Say “I love you” like you mean it and then Live It - Don’t take for granted that your children or your partner knows how you feel. The most important thing you can say to your family is “I love you” and words are not enough. If we say “I love you” without living “I love you” it’s worse than not saying it at all. If children do not hear it and live it in their home they will seek for it somewhere else and often with disastrous consequences. If spouses do not hear it and live it at home they will find it somewhere always with disastrous consequences. How long has it been since you looked your wife or husband in the eye and just said “I love you”?
This morning as we close I want you to do something for me- make a new commitment as a family. Make a commitment to living in a safe home, becoming a team, talking with each other, living your covenants, and saying I love you. Some of you come in with relationships that are on the rocks - today is the day to set them right. Some of you have been together happily for years today is a day to renew your covenant. As the praise team comes to lead if this is your commitment would you join me at the front.
