A Father Named Joseph
How many of you have ever heard a sermon on Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus? Every Christmas we hear of Mary the mother of Jesus and perhaps Mary and Joseph around the stall in Bethlehem. But we tuck them away until next Christmas. We Protestants try not to emphasize Mary too much less we become too Roman Catholic.
But Joseph is the forgotten man of the Bible. Joseph has been depicted as an old man of about 90 years old in order to protect the virginity of Mary. Roman Catholics believe that Mary and Joseph never had any sexual involvement. Protestants hold to the view that Joseph and Mary had other children later on. But some have thought Joseph was a younger man, figuring that an old Joseph could not have withstood the journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem and the flight into Egypt and the family’s ultimate return to Nazareth. But Protestants have largely ignored Joseph.
There is a website on the Internet called SermonCentral.com which contains over 90,000 sermons from preachers of all denominations. I have a few of my sermons on that website. But of all the over 90,000 sermons only one is on Joseph as found in this 1st Chapter of Matthew. For the Roman Catholics, Joseph is a saint. And the Holy Family, Mary, Joseph, and Jesus have been called the earthly trinity. But Joseph is a forgotten figure as far as Protestants are concerned.
But on this Fathers Day we want to kind of resurrect Joseph from the forgotten grave of Biblical history. He was an important figure in the life of Jesus. Have you ever thought why Jesus needed an earthly father? Jesus is the second person of the Godhead. He is God himself who has existed from the beginning. He created heaven and earth. He himself said he was one with the heavenly Father. When his parents came looking for him and found him in the temple talking to the priests he said that he must be about his heavenly father’s business.
The fact that God gave Jesus an earthly father tells us something about the importance of fathers. We know Jesus was born of a virgin. There was no sexual contact between Mary and Joseph. The Holy Spirit conceived Jesus in the womb of Mary. No physical earthly father was necessary. Jesus could have been the son of a single mother. Many other children are. But God gave Jesus an earthly father. Why? Could it be that a father is necessary in the lives of children? Every child needs a father. If Jesus needed an earthly father, what about us?
Of course we know practically speaking that every child will not have a father, a physical father present. Some fathers die or are incapacitated. But every child needs a father. The world and especially the African American community are suffering from father absence. There is a father hunger that is gripping the world. 70 percent of African American children are born to unmarried mothers. Many times the fathers of these babies have no relationship with them. 80 percent of black children can expect to spend at least a significant part of their lives away from a father. But fathers do matter. If you get nothing else from this sermon than this, remember that fathers do matter.
There is a view widespread around the world that fathers are not essential. My hat goes off to all the single mothers who have successfully raised children without the help of a father. But fathers do matter. Father absence can be dangerous to your child’s health, emotional and otherwise. 63% of suicides are done by people from fatherless homes. 83% of prison inmates come from fatherless homes. 90% of runaways come from fatherless homes. 71% of school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 60% of teen ages mothers come from fatherless homes. Fathers do matter. Compared with children with both parents, children with absent fathers are 5 times as likely to be poor. Have I made my point? Fathers do matter. We hear about children of the world who go to bed hungry each night. But it can be almost equally as difficult for children who suffer from father hunger.
Boys without a father struggle to figure out what it means to be a man. They devise their own code of manhood, often in violent and destructive ways. Girls who were deprived of the love of a father struggle to develop a sense of their own love-worthiness, often offering sex in exchange for what they hope will be love. Fathers do matter. Father absence can be dangerous to the health of your children. If Jesus Christ needed an earthly father what about us? Why did Jesus need an earthly father, and why do we need a father?
I A CHILD NEEDS TO ENJOY THE NEARNESS OF A FATHER
In the first place a child needs to enjoy the nearness of a father. Joseph was there for Jesus in his growing up years. Joseph was a carpenter and no doubt Jesus worked with him in the carpenter’s shop. There was a closeness between them. The Bible says that Jesus was subject to the direction of his father and mother. Joseph could have absented himself from Mary and Jesus. After all Jesus was only a stepson, so to speak. But when Joseph learned from the angel what Jesus was all about he took him as his son and even named him Jesus. He was close to Jesus. We don’t know much about Joseph. He never speaks in the Bible. We don’t know when he died. But we do know he was with Jesus at least until he was 12 years old. Evidently he had died by the time Jesus started his ministry. But he could have been with Jesus up through the teen age years at least. Evidently there was a closeness between Joseph and Jesus.
Many fathers who are in the home are distant from their children. Many are diligent and hard working fathers who provide for their family. But when it comes to a relationship with their children, they might as well be absent. Children need a mother and a father in their lives. Children need to know that their fathers love them. A distant father can be almost as detrimental as an absent father. Fathers need to be involved in the raising of their children. Co-parenting is not an option. It is a necessity. Parenting is too difficult to leave in the hands of one parent. It should be a combined effort. It has been shown that most homosexual men come from homes where the father was distant. Many fathers think that as long as they bring in the money and provide for the physical needs of their child that they have done enough. But that is not enough. Children need a father presence as well as his money. You are fortunate indeed if you came from a home where your father was involved in your upbringing. You are doubly fortunate if you had a dad who every now and then would hug you and tell you that he loved you. Most men are not good at things like that. They are not good at expressing feelings and emotions.
I heard a story about a father who told his son when he reached 12 years old that he would only shake hands with him from now on. Finally, some 20 or 25 years later the son, now a grown man, said, “Dad can I hug you?” And the son and father embraced and the father said, “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”
Fathers need to be close to their children. Even children who come from separated families need to be close to their fathers. A father should have access to his children, even if he and the mother are separated. Unless the father is physically abusive, the mother should encourage the children to see their father. Children should not be the pawns of divided loyalties. Mothers should not tell their children that their father is a “no good bum”. Fathers should not tell their children that their mother is no good. Come together at least for the sake of the children. Bury the hatchet of gender warfare for the sake of the children. Children need to be close to their fathers. Fathers, even if you are separated physically from your children you have the right and the responsibility to maintain a relationship with them. Fathers matter. Children need fathers who take an interest in them and who cultivate some relationship with them. Every child needs to enjoy the nearness of a father.
II A CHILD NEEDS TO ENCOUNTER THE NATURE OF A FATHER
Why did Jesus need an earthly father and why do we need a father? Secondly, every child needs to encounter the nature of a father. A child needs to know what a father is all about. A mother no matter how dedicated cannot model what a man is. Children need to see both genders operating in their lives. Jesus must have learned a great deal about his father. Working together in the carpenter, Jesus must have learned a great deal about his father. Years ago when families worked together on the farm or in some family business, the children got to know their fathers better. My wife grew up on a home where there was a family business. Her father was always home. She got a chance to see and know her father. Early on she gained a knowledge of what a real man was all about.
In recent years some books have been written about Joseph focusing on his relationship with Jesus. Joseph no less than Mary was chosen to be the earthly father of Jesus. Of all the men in the nation God chose Joseph to be the earthly father of Jesus. God chose Joseph because of his character as a righteous and just man. Joseph had the qualities that any son would desire to emulate. God must have been particular about choosing he man who would be Jesus’ earthly father. Even from the little we know about him, Joseph comes through as a kind, faithful, and just man. He protected Mary and Jesus and provided a safe haven for them from the threats and murderous intents of Herod. He took Jesus into his home, providing him with a normal and loving environment for him to grow. He became to protector and guide that any child needs. When we look at Joseph on this Fathers’ Day, we see an ideal picture of a father. A child needs to encounter the nature of a father who represents what true manhood is all about.
But fathers don’t always model what a true man is all about. Maybe they never learned it from their fathers. Many fathers are alcoholic, abusive, and irresponsible. But fathers have an obligation to “straighten up and fly right” and model for their children what a real man is all about. And women, especially in the African American community, should stop putting men down. African American men have it hard enough in this society. In many cases it is easier for a woman to get a well paying job than a man.
Think what this does to a man’s ego and self-esteem. Slavery, discrimination, racism have dealt serious blows to the integrity and well-being of black men. Some fall under the weight of such pressure and find they are unable to take on the responsibilities of marriage and family. Black men need the help and support of Black women. Try to build African American men up instead of pulling them down. They have enough problems as it is. Many women will find it hard to find marriageable men who will be good fathers for their children. But social agencies, the church, the government have an obligation to equip African American men to become the type of men who will be adequate and good fathers for their children. A man needs a good job and the wherewithal to be a good family man and father.
But many men despite the handicaps and disadvantages have become model fathers. No doubt some of these kinds of fathers are in this church today. The church is one place you can find responsible fathers who are models of what true manhood is all about. These are men who love the Lord in keeping with the theme of the day. These are men who came through hard times and great tribulations to be good fathers for their children. It wasn’t easy to raise children in today’s society. But they went on anyhow, leaning on the Lord. They knew they couldn’t be good fathers on their own. So they looked to the heavenly Father to see them through.
Many of you here had fathers who were with you. Many of these men were not absent fathers. But they were with you all the way. Some of you here today can testify that it was the faith of your father who brought you this far in life. You learned what a real man was all about by watching your father. Every child needs to encounter the nature of a father.
III A CHILD NEEDS TO EXPERIENCE THE NURTURE OF A FATHER
Finally, a child not only needs to enjoy the nearness of a father, encounter the nature of a father, but also experience the nurture of a father. Fathers should be involved in the nurture of their children. Fathers can be just as effective as women in nurturing children. Some think that the nurturing of children, the changing of diapers, and all things like that are the domain of a mother. But men can do just as good a job. It doesn’t make any difference to a baby who takes care of its physical needs. In fact, a young baby doesn’t recognize the difference between the sexes. The baby will come to father just as she or he will come to mother. A father needs to be involved in the nurturing of his children from infancy on up. Parenting is a combined effort for husband and wife. Father and mother must share the load. Parenting is too difficult and hard to be left in the hands of one parent. Both are needed. Again I salute the countless single mothers who have raised children on their own and have done a terrific job. But children need the nurture of a father and mother. They may not get it, but they need it.
In one of these books that have been written about Joseph he has been depicted as taking Jesus, God’s son, into his own heart and discovered a purpose for his own life within the greater purposes of God. One of the greatest purposes any father can have is the nurture and raising of his children. No matter how great or famous a father may be, he cannot neglect his responsibility to be a nurturing factor in the lives of his children. I think Billy Graham has said that he wished he had been there more in the raising of his children. Any man can impregnate a woman. but real men become fathers to their children. They become fathers to the child from infancy onto childhood, adolescence, and at each stage of the child’s life. A good father is an influence in his children’s lives long after his death and even to generations following.
One book about Joseph has been entitled “Holding Heaven”. In that book Joseph is quoted as saying of Jesus, “When you settled into my arms it felt as if I were holding heaven.” That’s what fathers do when they take that newly born infant into their arms. They are holding heaven because all children are a gift from God. All children in a sense are a gift from heaven. Every child needs a father. If Jesus needed a father what about us?
I never became a father. I have had stepchildren along the way. But I often wondered how I would have done as a father. I asked my wife that question the other day and she said that I would have been a good father. I would have been there for my children. I would not have been an absent father. I would have been a loving influence in their lives. I hope that analysis is true.
Fathers, you need to get in touch with your children no matter where they are. Children, no matter what your age you need to get in touch with your fathers. Even if your father is dead, what would you say to him? Even if your father was not there for you, you can say, “Daddy even if I didn’t know you I thank you for bringing me into the world.” Even if your father was abusive you can say, “Daddy I forgive you. There was something bothering you that caused you to do what you did. Father, I forgive you. I still love you”. Even if your father was an alcoholic or addicted in other ways, you can say, “Daddy there was a reason for your addiction. I don’t know what it was, but I love you anyhow and I forgive you.”
I want each of you this morning to get back in touch with your father, living or dead. If you father is in church with you today, I want you to go to him and tell him how much you love him. Fathers, if your child or children are with you today, tell them how much you love them. If your father is not here or dead, I want you to tell him you love him. You may not have done anything like this before in your life. But who knows that your father cannot hear you even now. This may be awkward for you, but you will feel better for it. If there is any unfinished business or issues between you and your father, living or dead, get them straightened out now. If you father is still living you ought to get in touch with him today by telephone, mail, e-mail, visit or any other means. Tell dad you love him right now where you are sitting. Speak to your father for a few minutes aloud or in silence.
My father was also named Joseph, Joseph Taylor. I can’t say that we had a very close relationship. He was a quiet man and rarely expressed his emotions. But one day several years ago I saw a father pulling his son in a wagon. I remembered when my father pulled me in a wagon. At that time I realized that my father really cared for me. And he did the best he could for me in his way. I can’t remember ever hugging my father and telling him that I loved him. But I want to say to my father this morning: “Daddy, I love you. (holding a picture of my father) I don’t ever remember telling you so. But I want to tell you now after all these years that I love you. You passed on 66 years ago this year, but Daddy I still love you. I want to tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me. I probably would not be where I am today if it had not been for your quiet influence in my life. Daddy, I love you.”
Won’t you speak to your father today? Tell daddy you love him right now, right where you are sitting aloud or in silence. Speak to your father. It may seem strange and awkward, but it will be a powerful experience for you. Speak to Daddy now. Then in a few minutes I will pray for us and all fathers. If Jesus needed a father, what about us? Every child needs a father.
