Theme: Narrow Road Series
Purpose: We need each other
Strike while the iron is hot. Did you ever wonder what that means? The blacksmith heats his iron red-hot in the fiery forge. It requires time to heat the iron up and time for it to cool down once it is plunged into the cooling water. But, in between, is the single moment when the iron is perfectly ready, flexible enough, to be struck and pounded into the desired shape the blacksmith had in mind. “Striking while the iron” is hot means that opportunity is fleeting and we are only given a few moments in time to effect changes in others that could last a lifetime. One fleeting moment and the opportunity has past.
There was a man who, ousted from his profession for an indiscretion, took work as a laborer simply to put bread on the table. Near the end of the third week, he felt that he could take no more. “I’ll work till break time this morning,” he told himself, “and then that’s it. I’m going home. I just can’t handle any more of this.” A while later, he decided to finish out the morning and then leave at lunchtime.
Shortly before noon, the foreman came around with paychecks. As he handed the man his envelope, he told him. “Hey, there’s a woman working in the front office who says she knows you. Says she takes care of your kids at church sometimes.” When the laborer opened his envelope, he found, along with his check, a handwritten note: “When one part of the body of Christ suffers, we all suffer with it. Just wanted you to know that I’m praying for you these days.” He stared at the note, astonished at God’s timing. He hadn’t even known the woman worked for this company. Here at his lowest hour, she had given him the courage to go on, to push another wheelbarrow of bricks up that ramp. (Dean Merrill, Another Chance, Zondervan, 1981, p. 138.)
Opportunity can only be grabbed from the front before it has past. Once it has past there is nothing to hold onto; it is lost. The Apostle Paul tells us, that we ought to
1 Thessalonians 5: 11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Hebrews 3: 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
One more, Hebrews 10:25 “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are In the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
What does it mean to encourage one another? Every encounter you have with people either builds them up or tears them down. You either inspire them to be better, or you provoke them to give up trying. You lift them, or you lower them. Their encounter with you leaves them blessed or burdened. So how can we who are the children of God learn to be be people-builders instead of people-wreckers?
Today, we’re going to talk about how to encourage one another, but first I think that we should start with prayer.
It’s pretty hard to overstate how important it is to be an encourager. The Greek word for encouragement is found 109 times in the New Testament. All through the Bible, the role of the encourager is celebrated.
In Romans 12:8, encouragement is listed as one of the gifts of the Spirit, did you know that on two occasions the Apostle Paul sent a man named Tychicus to different churches for the soul purpose of encouraging them.
In Colossians 4:8 says I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are and that he may encourage your hearts,
In Ephesians 6:22 says I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage your hearts.
Tychicus must have had the gift of encouragement. Paul sent Timothy to Thessalonica for the purpose of encouraging the Christians there.
Hebrews 3: 13, the passage we noticed just a moment ago, says that one of the ways we avoid being hardened by sin is through the encouragement of others. Encouragement inspires us to be better people. It softens our hearts. It lifts our spirits. It draws us closer to God. So how can we fulfill this important command?
I’m putting the one that’s hardest for me first. Listen to Ephesians 4:2 , “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Be easy to please.
We tend to be tough on others and easy on ourselves. Few things are more discouraging to people that living with someone who can’t be pleased.
A speaker at a marriage seminar told this story on himself. He and the family were gathered in the den to watch a football game. His wife asked the kids, "Does anyone want a snack?" She took their orders and went to the kitchen to prepare them. The thing that bugged the husband was that she hadn’t taken his order. In a few minutes she came back with sandwiches and drinks for the kids and one for herself.
The more he thought about it the more annoyed he became. So finally he turned to her and asked, "Why didn’t you even offer to prepare a snack for me?" She said, "Because I didn’t feel like being criticized."
"What do you mean?" he asked. She said, "Every time I make a sandwich for you something isn’t right. The bread is stale, the lettuce isn’t crisp, there’s too much of this or too little of that. I just didn’t feel like being criticized tonight."
Here was a guy who was in search of the perfect sandwich, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem came that in the process of that search he had alienated his wife. Every encounter she had with him tore her down instead of building her up. He didn’t lift her, he lowered her.
Now I’ll be honest with you here. Most of you only see me at my best. On Sundays I’m doing the right things, saying the right words, I’m being kind to older ladies, tender with little children, and generally just a very patient, loving guy unless your phone goes off in the middle of my sermon.
But my close friends and my family know how I really am. I am not always humble and gentle. I’m not always patient. I tend to walk around with a hand full of tools.
A tape measure to make sure everyone measures up.
I sometimes use the hammer of criticism to pound you into shape.
The sand paper of negative words to smooth out what I consider to be the rough edges.
The level of unrealistic expectations.
Too much of that and people don’t feel very lifted. They don’t feel very blessed. They don’t feel encouraged. So I’m going to work on being easier to live with. And I believe that some of you need to do the same. Do people, small children and animals tend to avoid you?
It’s because we don’t like spending time with people who are hard to please. It doesn’t make us want to be better people. It makes us want to find someone else to spend time with. SO the first thing we have got to learn to be an encourager is be easy to please.
The second is like unto the first. Don’t constantly criticize.
Once, when Pepper Rodgers was coaching UCLA, they were having a dismal season. He was being savaged by the news papers. The boosters were trying to run him off. Moving signs were posted in his front yard. He went home one night and told his wife, "When life gets tough, it’s good to know you’ve got a wife and a dog that won’t turn their backs on you." The next day his wife bought him a new dog.
You know in reality we are not the brightest people. You would think after you criticize someone the third time for the same thing, it would be pretty clear that they aren’t going to respond to that approach. But we keep on doing what we’ve always done, and in the process both you and they wind up frustrated.
Why don’t we try a different approach? Rather than trying to discourage negative behavior why don’t we try encouraging positive behavior? People blossom under affirmation. They wilt under discouragement.
Listen to what Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
I know that when someone disappoints me or makes me angry, the first thing I want to do is to criticize their behavior. We all want to react to their words or actions in an emotional way. We want to show them where they were wrong. To point out how they aren’t measuring up.
Have you ever stopped to think how effective that approach really is?
Usually, not very. But we do it anyway. We criticize. Then, when they don’t respond, we criticize some more. We say to ourselves, "You’re not as smart as I gave you credit for. I just criticized you, and you didn’t even have enough brains to respond. So I guess I’ll have to do it again, louder this time, with more intensity and more emotionally loaded words."
It’s like trying to fix a dent in a fender by hitting it with a hammer. The dent just keeps getting deeper, but we feel better.
There is a place for criticism. But nine times out of ten, people know they were wrong. So instead of pointing out the obvious, instead of hammering away at what’s already dented, why not try building them up.
Now, I want you to do something to put this into practice. We’re working on becoming a warmer, friendlier church. Let’s also work on becoming a more encouraging church. Because we are a band of brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus said we travel a narrow road, and friends, the narrow road is NOT meant to be walked alone.
Today I want you to spend a few minutes thinking about someone who needs your encouragement. Someone whom you can inspire to be a better person. I want you to write them a note. You can hand deliver it today, or take it home and mail it. I have put a few suggestions in your sermon notes so that you will have to find another excuse beside you forgot what you were supposed to write.
Tell others that you appreciate their hard work
Thank them for their service
Encourage them in their struggle
Remember how they blessed you once
Tell them of your prayers for them
Identify something positive about them
Name their admirable qualities
If we will all do that today I know that hundreds of people will be blessed because you took the time to encourage them. Now let me give you one more way to encourage people.
Encourage by your example.
Words are indispensable and they are powerful. But a living, breathing example of encouragement is hard to ignore. Paul told the Corinthians to follow his example as he followed Christ. Behavior is contagious.
You either spread the spiritual virus of discouragement or you share the spiritual fragrance of encouragement. You either make people spiritually sick, or you bless them. I know you cherish your relationships -- your friends, your family.
But honestly how you are affecting them? Do you make them want to be better people? Or do they care less about God when they are with you?
No one ever goes to their eternal destiny alone. You always take someone with you. You’ll either take them to heaven or you’ll take them to hell. The next time you are with the people you love I want you to remember that. Where are you taking them?
