Apples Of Gold; Proverbs 25:11
I want to start of today by asking some thought provoking questions.
Why is it that doctors call what they do “A practice”?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why do they call apartments, apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
Language is a great gift from God that sets us apart from every other creature. But sometimes our words are misunderstood or mistranslated; for example,
I found some commercial slogans that had been translation into other languages of course they didn’t translate the same: Kentucky Fried Chicken, "finger-lickin’ good" In China it came out as "eat your fingers off." The Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out in Taiwan as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, they were unaware that "no va" means "it won’t go." They didn’t sell many cars in South America. Coors’ "Turn It Loose" slogan was mistranslated into Spanish as "Drink Coors and get diarrhea."
The words we use to communicate can be very powerful. So we need to be very careful how we use them. Words can make us happy, or sad, they can make us angry or fill us with joy, they can make us laugh or cry. They can heal or they can hurt. Words are an important part of life.
We ask, “What’s the good word?” “What’s the latest word” or we may say, “Now there’s the man of his word” or “That’s a man of few words.” Parents may say to their children, “Choose your words carefully because you may have to eat them.” Or they may warn their children not to use any “four-letter words.” (((Kids corner & Toothpaste))) Words are very powerful.
When Sigmund Freud discovered that symptoms of emotional distress could be relieved simply by talking to his patients, he was amazed. Years of medical training had conditioned him to think of people as merely biological entities. He had concluded that problems like anxiety and depression must reflect some physical disorder treatable only through medical intervention.
If Freud had spent time reading the book of Proverbs he would have discovered the power that words have long before he did. Listen to what God’s word has to say about the power of words:
Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
Proverbs 15:4, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life.”
Proverbs 16:24, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
Words have the power to heal and word have the power to destroy.
One of the things I love to do is to coach. It’s important for me to be a part of my kid’s lives, to be involved in activities they’re involved in. It’s also a good way to get to know other people and to build relationships, invite people to church. And of course I love sports, so it’s a lot of fun.
But every so often there will be a parent that screams out at their kids, “Get your head in the game, what were you thinking, come on you can do better than that.” And the kid just feels shame, he is discouraged, and he just can’t seem to play at his best. Even if he tries as hard as he can, he still hears that voice of condemnation.
I love to hear the parents cheering on their kids. They say things like, “You can do it, way to go, good hustle, good job, and I’m so proud of you.”
When the kids hear their parents cheering them on it motivates them to try as hard as they can. It gives them courage, confidence and motivation. Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
Today I would like to share with you 3 ways in which we speak:
1. SHALLOW WORDS
During the course of his sermon, a preacher wanted to emphasize the brevity of life. He took a long pause, then said, “Every member of this church is going to die.” But, to his surprise, a man in the back row responded to this statement with a big smile.
Repeat twice, louder…After the sermon he went back and found the man and asked, “Why in the world did you smile so big when I said ‘Every member of this church is going to die?’” The man erupted with a huge smile and said, “Because I’m not a member of this church.”
Unfortunately, the words we use don’t always have the effect we want. Sometimes words meant to spur people on toward action, fall on deaf ears. Sometimes the words we use to try and encourage are interpreted as patronizing or condescending. Sometimes we don’t know what words to use, and we choose ones that end up doing more harm than good. And sometimes the words we speak have very little meaning at all.
Many of our polite greetings like, “Good to see you” “let’s get together sometime” “How are you” “Have a nice day.” are gracefully disguised ways of saying, “Keep your distance I’m just being polite.” Often our words say one thing but mean quite another.
Ephesians 5:6, “Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience..”
Some words may sound good to our ears but they destroy. The prophet Jeremiah indicted the religious leaders of his day for these types of shallow, empty words.
Jer. 6:13-14, “From the prophet even unto the priest every one dealeth falsely. They have healed also the hurt of the daughter of my people slightly, saying, Peace, peace; when there is no peace. ”
What were they guilty of? They were guilty of speaking words that the people wanted to hear, but they were lies. Their words had no meaning. And because of it they were punished.
There are a lot of people that want that when they go to church, they want to hear words that sound good and exalt the individual, But God’s word doesn’t always tell us what we want to hear – There are things we don’t want to hear about ourselves, like; “There is none good, no not one.” “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” “The heart is desperately wicked.” “The wages of sin is death.”
I may not like those things and you may not like them, but we need to hear them because they are truth. God’s word may not always tell me what I want to hear but it always tells me what I need to hear and we need to proclaim that truth to others so that they can turn from their sins and receive the gift of God.
However, in Jeremiahs day and in ours far too many people would rather just speak shallow words that have no real meaning or value to them.
If you’ve ever flown with an airline you know the drill, once the flight has landed everyone is walking down the aisle to get off the plane and the stewards and stewardesses are standing by the door with, which is likely a fake grin on their faces, and they say, “Have a nice day, good to have you with us today.” The whole exchange seems dreadfully insincere.
When I fly I make very few if any demands on the stewards, maybe a pillow. But I am usually quiet, reading a book, or trying to take a quick nap. So perhaps when I walk by the words, “Good to have you with us today” come honestly.
But what about the person who is loud and obnoxious and constantly demanding a refill on their drink? When they stagger through the aisle, I wonder if the words, “Good to have you with us today” might really mean something different.
There are times we do the same thing within the body of Christ. We try to be polite, but our words ring hollow, they mean something else, and they encourage no one.
I was visiting Paul Thompson at his church in Chandler, AZ. And I asked him how he was doing. He replied with about a ten-minute story about all the pains and struggles and problems that he was dealing with and at the end he said, “Are you ever going to ask me how I’m doing again.”
Two things became very clear to me, 1. We often speak polite words, but shallow words. I was being kind but I didn’t want to hear his life story. And it’s not necessarily because we don’t care, but because we don’t think we have the time, or we don’t make time to go deeper. 2. Never ask Paul Thompson how he’s doing unless you have the time.
If we truly want to be more than just acquaintances, more involved in peoples lives, more of a community - then we must go beyond surface level communication.
But I think we are more comfortable with shallow words and surface level communication, because we don’t want to uncover too much about ourselves, we fear rejection or condemnation OR maybe it’s because we don’t want to get to know too much about another person. So we stay in the shallows where it’s comfortable.
But we can never really know each other without going past the surface level of communication. We can never be the community we need to be without getting a little deeper. We can never truly encourage one another until we go beyond shallow words.
Before my mom rededicated her life to Christ she was attending church but not faithfully, but whenever she went one lady always made a special effort to greet her. “Oh it’s so good to see you, I was hoping you would be here today.” My mom would politely respond, “Thank you, it’s good to be here, how are you doing today?” The lady always responded by saying, “I’m blessed.”
Those words spoke volumes to my mom. She knew that this lady didn’t always have a good day or the best of circumstances, but she couldn’t deny that this lady was blessed. My mom wanted that same peace. And to a large extent it was those words that encouraged my mom to rededicate her life. Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
2. DEATH WORDS
Once we see that words have power, we must set out to harness that power with a clear awareness that words can both tear down and build up. Proverbs 21:23, “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” We have got to learn to harness the power of the tongue.
Because our words are like a sharp knife – in the hands of a surgeon can heal, but in the hands of a careless child can kill. Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” James 3:8, “The tongue… is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”
Our words can crush a person’s spirit, and they can leave people feeling hurt and hopeless.
For example, a middle-aged man had been fighting depression for most of his adult life. Several psychiatrists had agreed that the root problem was chemical and needed to be treated with anti-depressant medications for the rest of his life.
Finally it was discovered through counseling that the man’s father, who was a self made millionaire, repeatedly said to him, “Son I suspect when you take over the family business you will destroy it.” These words stung more painfully each time he heard them.
When his father died, the man felt driven to work unrealistic hours to prove his father wrong. The pressure that relentlessly gnawed at him was quieted only by alcohol. Soon a serious drinking problem developed. His wife threatened to leave him. Finally he succumbed to ongoing depression for which he could find relief only in drugs.
His life was devastated by the power of his father’s tongue. Words have great power. Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” didn’t have a clue what they were talking about.
It’s likely that every person in this room has been hurt because of something that has beed said to them. It’s also likely that every person in this room has said something that hurt someone else. Usually we don’t mean to hurt people. The words just "pop up" without planning. We speak before we think and sometimes our words do great damage.
We often forget the hurtful words we spoke, but we rarely ever forget those death words that were spoken to us. They have a way of lingering in our lives and they can cause emotional distress, bitterness, and resentment. And we harbor those hurts and we lash out at other people. It can be a vicious cycle.
Sometimes the death words we speak were meant to be a joke, they were meant to be humorous, but those we joke with didn’t see it that way. I remember a man in Conway that I really liked; we had developed a pretty good relationship. I have a tendency to joke with those I’m close to. So I made what I believed to be a humorous comment about his height, not knowing that he was very sensitive about it. To make a long story short my jesting did great damage to our relationship.
Maybe he was overly sensitive, but the point remains that the words were the instrument of damage.
3. LIFE WORDS
Words not only string but they can soothe. More importantly they can inspire, encourage, and give life. Proverbs 15:4, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life.”
Ephesians 4:29 Paul instructs us to, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
A friend of mine told me about a time he was a youth counselor at church camp. During the week they had various types of activities. They had bible classes, and prayer groups, and hiking, and worship services, and of course some type of sporting competition every day.
All the kids were having a great time but there was this one boy named Billy, who was overweight, that hated the sporting events because he just couldn’t compete. On the last day of camp, came the event that he dreaded most of all. It was the relay race. They had to run all the way around the track before passing the baton and he knew that he could run very fast and he would be out of breath before getting half way around.
The others on the team decided to make him run first so the fastest kids could finish the race. The horn sounded and Billy started running. Within in a few seconds he was already way well behind the others. His team yelled at him, others laughed at him, and by the time Billy got half way around the track he started walking. He just couldn’t take being ridiculed anymore.
One of the counselors saw what had happened and ran out to Billy, put his arm around him and said, “I know you can do it. I’ll run with you.” And I’m sure said some other encouraging words to him.
With that Billy picked up the pace, the other counselors told the other kids to cheer for him and encourage him. Soon Billy stepped it up a little more. He never ran very fast but he finished the course with tears in his eyes and the others cheering for him and clapping their hands. Some of the other kids were also crying because they saw first hand the power of their words.
2 Timothy 4:7-8, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.”
We too are in the race and we need encouragement, we too needs to hear those words that inspire, encourage, and give life. Hebrews 12:1, “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,”
But we not only have a cloud of witnesses, we also have each other. Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
Conclusion: Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth, And the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.”
