Under Pressure – Dealing with Stress
Finding the Right Priorities in Life
(This message is part of a series of messages inspired by the “Outreach” theme – “Under Pressure”)
Tonight we begin our series on Dealing with Stress. All of us face issues and circumstances that stress us out. We might face Relational Stress. That’s the stress that comes from dealing with difficult situations with family and friends. Perhaps there is difficulty in the marriage or with the children. It might be that you are at odds with a neighbor, or even with someone in the church. I don’t know about you, but when I suffer from Relational Stress, it takes the greatest toll on me. It really is a gut wrenching ordeal. I know why it affects me the way it does – it’s because part of what makes me who I am is the way I interact socially with people. I’m a people person. I like everybody and I want everybody to like me. So when someone is unhappy with me, it just tears me up inside. You might feel like that too.
Another stress that we often deal with is Financial Stress. It comes from having too much month left over at the end of the paycheck. As I’ve mentioned before, when this kind of stress gets a grip on you, you quit answering the phone because it’s usually a bill collector or Mr. Click. Mr. Click is the guy that is calling to tell you that if they don’t receive a payment they are going to turn the lights off, or the phone off. Financial pressure has caused people to do some pretty irrational things. People can be so overcome with Financial Stress that they become seriously depressed.
One kind of stress that all of us will face if we work outside the home, is Occupational Stress. Many different things can cause stress on the job and it can cause us to do some crazy things. The term “Postal” has come to mean much more than the way we mail a letter. It is now synonymous with people blowing a gasket at work. It might be an overbearing boss that has you at wits end. It could be a co-worker that is stabbing you in the back to get the promotions you deserve. It could be long hours and short deadlines that have you worn out and frazzled. Maybe it’s the threat of layoffs or shutdowns of the business. All of these work related issues cause us stress. When you thing about how many hours each week you spend at you job, it’s easy to see how Occupational Stress is an important issue. No one wants to spend that much time at a place where they are not happy.
There are several other things that can cause us stress. Poor health can cause us stress. Threats to our safety and security cause stress. Demands by others can stress us out because we’re burning the candle at both ends. This series is meant to help us deal with those issues.
If there were a way you could control how you felt about stress and at the same time find ways to avoid stress in the future, would you want to know how? What value would you place on being able to be happier, worry less and enjoy life more? What would you be willing to do or give to know the secret to living a stress-less life? Would you be willing to invest 4 hours to learn how? Well, that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do. Tonight and the next 3 Sunday nights, we are going to look at how to deal with the pressure that we’re all under.
For a theme text for our series, let us look at Philippians 4:6-9:
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
One of the main reasons we get stressed out is our own inability to set priorities. When we fail to set priorities in our life, then other outside influences control our life. We function from a reactive mode instead of a proactive mode.
I think we all understand what priorities are; the problem is how to set them. And I think the reason we have trouble trying to set them is we let others tell us what the number one priority is and we end up with several number one priorities. Anyone here have more than one, number one priority?
There is only one – number one priority. You might have several things that are tied at number two, or three, or whatever, but there is only one number one.
Look with me at Luke’s gospel 10:38-42:
38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Here Jesus rebukes Martha. Martha is very busy. The word used here is “distracted” – inferring that she was pulled away from what her focus should have been on. She is doing all the cooking, cleaning, serving and fussing while Mary just sits beside Jesus. Trust me, Mary knew what the custom was. When a guest came to your home, you were to shower hospitality on them as though they were the greatest person in the world. But here in this setting, the greatest person the world has ever known has actually come for dinner. As Mary looked at her to-do list, every one of them became a low priority next to spending time with Jesus.
Martha was rebuked because she had a problem setting priorities. What did Jesus tell her? “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.”
What was the one thing? It was making Jesus her number one priority.
If we are to have peace in our life, then Jesus must be our first priority. Above our families, our jobs and our finances – Jesus must come first. When we take our eyes off of the number one thing, then we become like Martha, worried over many things.
If Jesus is our number one priority, then as we weigh our other demands and priorities against the number one priority, it becomes easier to see which ones help us maintain the number one priority. Do you follow that logic?
Secondly, once we establish the number on priority and we begin to assess the lower priorities, how do we proactively deal with the inevitable problems, confrontations and deadlines that will come up?
We will be dealing more specifically with the scheduling of our priorities and the financial priorities over the next two weeks. Those services will give you real tools on how to look at your priorities and be in control of them. But tonight there are some spiritual aspects to managing you priorities. What are they?
Let’s look back at our theme verse for a second. Paul writes, “Do not be anxious about anything.” He didn’t say, “Don’t worry about the little things.” He said, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything…” Say that word with me – “Everything”. In the Greek, that word means – “Everything”. “In everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
The reason we have trouble aligning our priorities is because we rarely pray and ask God what He wants. How many of you have a day planner or calendar that you use to write down everything you have to get done?
How many of you pray over it? Whoa! “Man, pastor- that hurts. You mean I need to pray over my Franklin Planner when I fill out me schedule?”
Why shouldn’t you pray about your schedule? What part of “everything” are you having trouble understanding? I’d be the first to tell you that I don’t always pray about me schedule. I’m as guilty as anyone. Usually it’s those days when it doesn’t appear that much is going on and that I might actually have a light day ahead. What I’ve noticed is that on those days that I don’t pray about my schedule, it often gets the best of me. I find myself stretched too thin and ineffective in the things that matter most to me – the number one priority – serving Jesus and having an intimate relationship with Him. I’ve also noticed that when I do pray about my schedule and priorities that miraculously, things fall into place. I’ve begun praying every morning about my day. I review all the demands and appointments and I ask God for wisdom in dealing with each one. Then I ask God to make me a blessing to everyone I meet that day, and for them to be a blessing to me. Trust me on this, you day will go much smoother when you pray about what’s ahead.
Don’t forget the thanksgiving part of that instruction. I know that sometimes it is difficult to be thankful when you know who it is you’ll be dealing with that day. But, one of the things that opens the door to let stress into our life is our attitude. We are totally responsible for our attitudes. Maybe you’ve said, “So and so just makes me mad!” So and so didn’t make you mad. You chose to be mad at so and so. If you begin to pray and tell God, “Thank you Lord, for letting me be a blessing to so and so today.” Then your attitude is already in a better position than it would have been when you were dreading the encounter before it even happened. Who knows, maybe So and so is praying the same prayer about you that day. Did you ever think of that?
Let me give you some practical advice. Three things that have tended to help me deal with my priorities and events that happen in my day.
1. There are only 24 hours in a day. There is only so much you can get done today – so be realistic when you schedule your day. Don’t schedule your day so strictly that one red light on the way to work causes you to blow a gasket and stroke out.
2. Use the pie theory. I’ve shared it with you before. Every day you get one pie. You can choose to serve it to whomever and whatever you choose. At the end of the day you must have served all your pie. As you look back on your day, did those deserving get their fair share of the pie? Or, did you choose to serve pie to people and things that were unworthy of any of your pie? What I’m saying is this – you get to choose what you spend your time on. Think about it. Sometimes people come into our day that waste our pie by getting under our skin and causing us stress. Even after they’ve left, we’re still serving them pie. We allow them to consume our thoughts, control our actions and our attitudes. When someone is consuming more pie than they deserve, stop serving it. Find a way to graciously beg off the encounter and go serve pie to someone that will smile as they eat it. There are people and activities that will be blessed by your pie and you will be happier giving it to them.
3. When faced with a difficult choice of doing something or not doing something, ask yourself this question – “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” If the choice isn’t going to kill you or someone else, quit letting the choice paralyze you into doing nothing but worry. When fear and apprehension seize your heart, then you are unable to move forward. Another way to ask the same question is, “WWJD – What would Jesus do.” Make your decision based on the number one priority and you will be able to quickly push the apprehension aside and move on with confidence to whatever is next on your to do list.
What do you do if stress still comes beating on the door? Then you apply the rest of our verse – whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is praiseworthy – think about those things. In other words, even in the middle of the storm – praise God. Try to find something good about your circumstance. Maybe it is a life lesson that you’re learning – praise God for it. Maybe God is keeping you from a greater evil or dangerous experience – praise God for it. Maybe in the long run you see that God is bringing about justice where an injustice is taking place – praise God for it.
When we begin to think on the good things that are in the middle of the stressful circumstances, our stress begins to subside. Our worries are abated.
I like what else Paul says. Whatever you have learned – either on your own or through someone else – put it into practice. When something you do causes stress the first time, then it was brought about through ignorance. If you repeat those actions and bring stress on yourself a second time then it is brought on by stupidity. Learn how to avoid stressful situations. Think about it. What is it that makes the situation stressful? Change it if you can. Don’t just stand there getting your head beat in by stress – do something about it. I’ve known some people that seemed as though they enjoyed being unhappy and stressed out. They were like Eyore of Winnie the Pooh. They seem to bask in the showers of pity that people would pour on them and their sad situation. God wants us to have His peace. He does not want us to worry. Scripture tells us not to worry about our life, what we will eat or drink, or about our body and what we will wear. If God takes care of the birds of the air and adorns the lilies of the field, how much more will He take care of us? He says not to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Let me close with this. Verse 7 of our text says, “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” When we learn how to set our priorities around our relationship with Christ, then we can have peace that we can’t imagine.
