FATHERS
Tonight I’m going to preach to myself. I’m going to invite you to listen. I’m going to talk about fathers. The responsibility of fathers. The responsibility of a child to his or her father. Ladies, you would do well to listen in. Someday, not that far from now you will pick a man to be your husband, a man who will be the father of your children. Gentlemen, whether you’ve grown up in a good godly home or one that has left much to be desired, you will hear from the Word of God what is expected of you. As children you will hear in this message tonight what is expected of you in relationship to both your earthly father and your heavenly father.
In the early days of television, fathers were portrayed much differently than they are today. Fathers were heroes. These TV fathers could rescue a man from a burning building and then fix the wheel on their son’s bicycle or put the head back on little Suzie’s Barbie doll. These men were sensitive and romantic while at the same time firm, loving disciplinarians. They were the wage earners, bringing home the paycheck so that mom could stay home and raise the kids. These dads took their kids on long summer vacations to the beach or to the mountains, taught their kids how to drive and make a campfire. But that was then and this is now.
In the 80’s the television father figure began to change. Mom began to run the home. She went off to work and in some cases dad stayed home to wash the dishes and raise the children.
And then came the age of the Simpsons. In many shows dad was non-existent. In others he was a beer drinking loser who sat around in his underwear watching TV. He couldn’t hold down a job and he really didn’t want to. He was run over by his wife and disrespected by his children. The family doesn’t really have much use for this TV dad. When the kids want something they go to mom. And to be honest, in many cases, dad is the one at fault.
But is that the way things have to be? Does it have to be that way because TV says it’s so? Does it have to be that way because it’s that way all over town, or all across the country? The answer is certainly NO!
What does the Bible tell us about dads? To answer that question we will not look at the more typical verses that talk about fatherhood. Instead we will look at God, our heavenly Father. We will see what a dad should be and how we should respond to both our earthly fathers as well as our heavenly father.
We will begin our study tonight in Isaiah 64:8. But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. Here Isaiah states that God is our Father. He then uses the analogy of clay in the potter’s hands for us to understand the relationship between a father and his children as well as the relationship between God and His children. What we are looking at is the father’s authority. A potter has absolute control, absolute authority over the clay. The clay is in total submission to the potter. It does not have a will of it’s own. That is extremely hard for us to wrestle with. There is not a teenager here who does not think that they have a right to their own will, to their own opinion, to their own way of doing things. By the way, many adults struggle with this as well in their relationship to God and to those in authority over them. A father can only mold his children as long as they remain pliable. The godly father is one who is in authority over his children. A child who wants to please God will submit to that authority. Let’s consider some examples now. You want to borrow dad’s new Mustang to go out Friday night. Dad doesn’t think you’re ready for it yet. How will you respond? Here’s another example. You’ve made a deal with mom and dad that as long as you keep your grades up you’ll be allowed to drive. One of your grades has just slipped from a B to a C+. How will you respond when dad comes to take the keys away? What will you do?
The same is true with God our Father. As Christians we are His children. Are we submissive to His will? If He is the potter and we are the clay then we should have no say in His will for our lives. And yet consider a simple conversation that one might overhear in the hallway of our church considering college choices. The conversation should go something like I will go to whatever college God wants me to go to. Instead, what I sometimes hear is I will followed by NOT go to that college which is similar to saying to God When Hell freezes over. Authority, are you submitting to your father’s authority, to your heavenly Father’s authority? A good father exercises godly authority in the home.
A father gives guidance to his children in their youth. Jeremiah 3:4 tells us Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me, My father, thou art the guide of my youth? Proverbs tells us Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. A good father, a godly father gives guidance and direction to his children. A good child accepts and follows that guidance and direction. Though I am not proud of myself I must admit that I struggled with this in my later teen-age years. A wise son or daughter will heed their father’s advice. In considering where I’ve been and what I’ve done now at the ripe old age of 38 and I think that I can give my kids some pretty good advice. But how much more has my father experienced yet than me? A father’s advice is good counsel at any age.
Just as a father guides and gives counsel to his children, so our heavenly Father wishes to lead and guide in our lives. Not just shaping and molding but then guiding us in the direction that we should go. All through life this guidance is available to the Christian from their heavenly Father. Even when we come to death the Bible says Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. A good father guides his children and good children will follow.
A good father tries to keep his family together. Matthew 12:50 speaks of doing the will of the heavenly Father. The best way for a father to keep his family together is for them to serve God together as a family. A good father keeps his family in church. A good father is the spiritual leader for the home. A good father sets the example for his family in spiritual things. I have found that in most families where the children are apathetic about spiritual things mom and dad have already set the example at home. Kids that don’t get involved tend to have parents who aren’t involved. Kids that have the wrong priorities tend to have parents with the wrong priorities. For some parents it sports. There’s nothing wrong with sports but if it keeps you out of church then there is a wrong priority. There is nothing wrong with work and making money. But if you start working Sundays and missing church then there is a wrong priority there. There is nothing wrong with a little relaxation, but if it starts taking you away from church then there is a problem with priorities. A good father keeps his family together in the will of God.
Our heavenly Father has set an example for us. He has shown us His priorities. He has shown us what love is. He has shown us what sacrifice is. It is His will that every family be together throughout eternity. He sent His Son Jesus to die for our sins so that we would not have to die in our sins and spend eternity separated from Him and the ones that we love. A good father tries to keep his family together.
A good father prepares his children for the future. In John 12:49 Jesus tells us that His Father has given Him the words to say. He has prepared Him for what He must do. A good father prepares his children for the things they will face as they enter their adult years. A good father teaches his children about finances, about having a budget. A good father teaches and models for his children how to have healthy relationships. Relationships with a spouse, with his children, with others outside the home. A good father models what a good father should be as well as what a good husband should be so that his daughter knows what kind of man to look for. It is a trend for daughters to marry men that remind them of their dad. Sometimes this is subconscious, some times it is done consciously. A good father trains his children to be good workers. To be diligent, faithful and trustworthy. They are not to be lazy or sloppy. You each need to realize that the kind of worker you are tells others a lot about the way you were raised. A good father will not only teach his children a good work ethic but will model it for them.
Has God the Father prepared us? Jesus when He sent out His disciples told them that they would have many occasions to speak on His behalf. He told them that when they did they should not worry because the Father would give them the words to speak. The same is true of us today. II Peter 1:3 tells us that God has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness. A good father prepares his children. God the Father has prepared His children for this life as well.
And finally, a good father disciplines and corrects his children. Hebrews 12:9-11 tells us of both an earthly father’s correction as well as the heavenly Father’s correction. It is called chastisement. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. This correction is not enjoyable the Bible tells us. You didn’t have to be told that did you? It is not enjoyable but it is necessary. It is not enjoyable for the father or for the child but verse 12 tells us it is necessary because it yields the fruit of righteousness. A father, a good father who loves his children disciplines them when they have done wrong. Let’s talk for a minute about that discipline for you fathers-to-be. The punishment should always exceed the crime. Let’s say for example that a girl named Ashley is told to clean her room. In order to get done quickly so that she can go to her friend’s house she shoves everything under the bed and then heads out. Mom and dad in finding the mess decide to correct her. What will the end result be if the only correction is that when she gets home she has to clean her room? She has learned that she can get away with what she has done. She got to go to her friends house and put off the cleaning until a later time. After all, the room had to get cleaned sooner or later any way. Now what if they add to the correction that she is now grounded from going to any friends’ houses for two weeks and she has to clean up the dog run and clean out the kitty litter box? Now there is an actual price for her to pay. Now she may learn something from her experience. The correction may mean the loss of certain privileges. It may meaning paying restitution. It should include repentance and an apology or asking of forgiveness to the offended party. By the way fathers-to-be, by the way young people, you need to learn to say I’m sorry, will you forgive me?
Yes, God our loving heavenly Father corrects His children as well. That hurts way more by the way than a whoopin. That stings a lot worse than when mom or dad ground you. The chastisement of God can last for days, weeks, months and even years. But it’s a sign that God loves you. That He is your Father and you are His child.
How is your relationship with dear old dad tonight? Are you submitted to his authority? Are you still moldable? Are you open to his guidance? Are you learning from his correction? If not, maybe you need to go home tonight and make that relationship right. Maybe you’re here tonight and dad doesn’t live at home, he’s not around for one reason or another or he is there but is nothing like the fathers that we’ve talked about tonight. You have a Father that is. A heavenly Father that loves you as a father should. Yield yourself to Him tonight and ask Him to mold you and guide you and make you into what you should be.
