Introduction: One of the things Kathy and I like to on Friday evenings is catch a movie. For us, it is a way to relax and unwind. I want you to know Kathy and I have different taste when it comes to movies – I like action and comedies – she on the other hand likes stories and dramas – Movies with heart. (Chick Flicks)
Now while we have different taste in movies we do agree on one thing – we never listen to the critics – you know who I am talking about – the people who are paid to tell us if the movie is good or bad, either giving it 2 thumbs up or four stars or some rating that tells us this is the movie you have to see! It has been our experience the critics don’t see movies the way we see them. In fact there are times we wonder if they ever saw the movie they were reviewing.
Invariably if we like the movie the critics pan it and if we dislike the movie the critics hail it as “cinematic milestone”. Truth of the matter - I do not understand critics!
And yet Critics are all around us.
The restaurant critic
The movie critic
Monday morning quarterbacks
Political critics
It seems everyone has an opinion on everything.
As we conclude this series of messages on Attitudes, I believe it is appropriate for us to look at one last attitude that we all need to adjust – A critical attitude.
I believe a critical attitude is very common in our culture today. We have become such consumers of our culture that we measure everything against an unattainable standard and thus criticism slips into our life. We need to ask God to help change our attitude, from a critical attitude to an attitude of love.
Some people struggle with criticism more than others.
Maybe you grew up in a home that was forever picking on the imperfections of others and finding fault with everyone and everything. You may see criticism as a normal part of life
Maybe you were criticized yourself by parents or teachers and now that critical spirit is part of your life.
Maybe you find yourself caught up in criticism; not because you want to be critical, but because those you work with or socialize with are critical and you find yourself dragged into the fray.
If any of these situations apply to you, I want you to know you can escape the criticism trap, but it takes the help of the Holy Spirit convicting you and then transforming your attitude from criticism to an attitude of love.
Criticism Defined
Before we go any further in our message I believe we must come up with a definition of criticism so we can get a handle this troubling attitude.
Not all Criticism is Bad
There is destructive and constructive criticism
Constructive criticism is designed to help another person.
Hebrews 10:24 let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds
The word spur carries with it the idea of stimulating a person on to greater growth. Constructive Criticism is designed to make us better. Last week during our Renewal Weekend, the elders asked Bob Russell and his companions to evaluate our services and campus with the idea of making improvements – their constructive criticism is designed to help us fulfill our mission of reach lost people for Christ and bring them to maturity. Their suggestions will spur us on toward a better ministry.
Maybe you have been in a situation where you have faced constructive criticism – a job review by a supervisor designed to help you improve, or a maybe a close friend points out a flaw that you are unaware of yet is hampering you witness or effectiveness.
When I was in Bible college, Our professors would video tape our sermons and then we would o to his office and watch them as he pointed our errors and noted our strong points – while that criticism at times was humbling it was designed to make us better communicators.
If you are on the receiving end of some constructive criticism, be gracious with the person’s advice and be honored that they care enough to seek out your best interest.
The criticism we must avoid is the destructive type brought about by our negative feelings toward others.
To know if you are involved in that kind of critical behavior let’s look at a definition of negative criticism
Destructive Criticism: dwelling upon the perceived faults of others with no view to their good.
BREAKDOWN THAT DEFINITION
Perceived faults – the reason I focused on perceived faults is because my perception of what is wrong with you may not be accurate. There may be circumstances that I don’t understand or you may be going through a situation I am not aware of that is cause you to act a certain way. In reality we can become very critical of others and be totally wrong in our opinion, simply because we do not have all the facts.
Dwelling upon – You become preoccupied with the fault to the point that you internalize it – I would not do this or that, if I were in charge things would be different. If you are an analytical person this is going to be a struggle for you, because you are the type that is always analyzing things, looking for ways to improve – that is the way you are wired. So how do you overcome that critical spirit? It is not criticism if you will do one of two things in that type of situation.
Pray about it
Pursue a solution
If you observe a brother or sister in Christ struggling in a certain area it is not a negative attitude to ask God for guidance for them or to come along side of them and help them in their area of weakness – Our church has a small group study called Crown. Crown is designed to help people get their finances in order. Many people are involved in Crown because they see the need for some help and guidance in this area. Crown asks each participant to write out a budget, list their debts, be honest when it comes to finances, now while they do not share it with others in the class, these actions help them get control of their finances – it gives people an opportunity to see where they really are when it comes to money. Crown does not ask people to do these exercises because it wants to humiliate people or make them feel like a failure, rather Crown understands that when Christians come together, with godly principles – financial solutions are made possible –
Crown seeks solutions rather than criticism, and then we offer solutions to others we are giving them hope rather than focusing on their faults.
Once we understand criticism let us look at an example of…
How God deals with Negative Criticism
I want us to visit the wilderness experience of the Children of Israel one last time, but rather than focusing on the people as a whole, I want us to see three individuals and how criticism affects their life.
Numbers 12:1-2, While they were at Hazeroth, Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses because he had married a Cushite woman. They said, “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? Hasn’t he spoken through us, too?”
Note the Critics
Verse 1 says the Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses. Remember Miriam and Aaron are the brother and sister of Moses. Receiving criticism from others is hard, but it is more difficult when it comes from someone who is close to you. There is a second item to note, the text lists Miriam’s name first implying she was the primary critic in this affair and Aaron was dragged in to the fray. That happens sometimes, one person starts to criticize and soon others are dragged into the feeding frenzy. One person’s bitterness can defile many people, and that is what happened in this situation.
Note the response to the Critics
But the Lord heard them. (Now Moses was very humble—more humble than any other person on earth) So immediately the Lord called to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam and said, “Go out to the Tabernacle, all three of you!” So the three of them went to the Tabernacle. Then the Lord descended in the pillar of cloud and stood at the entrance of the Tabernacle. “Aaron and Miriam!” he called, and they stepped forward. And the Lord said to them, “Now listen to what I say: “If there were prophets among you, I, the Lord, would reveal myself in visions. I would speak to them in dreams. But not with my servant Moses. Of all my house, he is the one I trust. I speak to him face to face, clearly, and not in riddles! He sees the Lord as he is. So why were you not afraid to criticize my servant Moses?” The Lord was very angry with them, and he departed. Numbers 12:3-9
I find it interesting that Moses did not answer his critics – verse 3 describes his humility, and part of his humility was placing his trust in the One who knew he was faithful. Moses typifies the life of Christ when he was facing the cross. Peter describe our Lord’s behavior at the cross this way - When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 1 Peter 2:23
The lesson for us when we are unjustly criticized is not to seek retribution but to trust in God who is faithful – we are accountable to Him.
While Moses was silent – God was not – He challenged Miriam and Aaron – stating that Moses was His chosen instrument at this time. In fact verse 7 tells us, Of all my house, he is the one I trust.
Lesson - our call is to be faithful to God and what he has called us to do and allow god to deal with the critics who do not understand or who do not have a clue what is going on in our life.
Criticism is handled
Note the remaining verses of our chapter
As the cloud moved from above the Tabernacle, there stood Miriam, her skin as white as snow from leprosy. When Aaron saw what had happened to her, he cried out to Moses, “Oh, my master! Please don’t punish us for this sin we have so foolishly committed. Don’t let her be like a stillborn baby, already decayed at birth.” So Moses cried out to the Lord, “O God, I beg you, please heal her!” But the Lord said to Moses, “If her father had done nothing more than spit in her face, wouldn’t she be defiled for seven days? So keep her outside the camp for seven days, and after that she may be accepted back.” Numbers 12:10-14
Miriam is struck with leprosy – in that culture, that was a death sentence. She would be forced to leave the camp; she would be considered a outcast with no hope of a cure. In short her life was over! It is obvious that God takes destructive criticism very seriously.
Seeing her condition Aaron repents, and pleads for mercy – note at the beginning of this text, Aaron was critical of Moses, now he is begging for Moses to help – he sees Moses as his only hope.
Note the humility of Moses. He does note hesitate to be merciful So Moses cried out to the Lord, “O God, I beg you, please heal her!” Moses was following the advice that Paul would later tell the Romans Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19-21
God was faithful he heard the Prayer of Moses and healed Miriam, yet there were consequences to her actions, she was ostracized from the camp for a period of 7 days as a reminder of her sin. Her attitude cost her dearly.
How do we avoid a critical attitude? How do we make sure we do not get caught up in destructive criticism? I believe the answer is found in the NT – There is only one attitude big enough to replace a critical attitude and that is the attitude of love.
There is a reason I say that because in the NT there was a church that was facing all kinds of problems; there was infighting, sinful relationships, division among the members, inappropriate use of the Lord’s Supper and they had a poor reputation in the culture. In short this church had Problems.
The missionary Paul had started this church and one of his missionary journeys, so he felt responsible for these wayward converts. So the question is how would he handle this group?
Deliver a fire and brimstone sermon – turn or burn you rotten scoundrels
He could have left them to their sinful devises and started a new church
He could have simply told others about them and say this is an example of a bad church don’t be like them!
He could have sent his assistant Timothy or Titus to straighten them out
HE DID NONE OF THESES THINGS – INSTEAD HE FOCUSED ON A NEW ATTITUDE – LOVE!
He explains this new attitude in 1 Corinthians 13, we call it the love chapter – most the time we read it at weddings – but the context of the chapter is not for weddings but it is about how to be transformed by the attitude of Love.
Paul tells us this attitude of love will transform us if we take it to heart if we genuinely put it into practice.
It is difficult to put into practice without the power of God in our lives. True Love, Biblical Love is formed in us through the conviction the Holy Spirit in our life. Love flows out of our life when we allow the HS to have control of our attitudes. Look at Paul’s words; If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
Paul says if I am able to communicate truth, but do not have love I am nothing but noise, If I am able to do great things for the cause of Christ but love is not apart of my make up I am nothing, If I sacrifice my possessions as well as my life and do not have love I gain no rewards at all Zilch, nada, nothing without love.
Understand True Biblical Love – It is not Sloppy Agape – Just Love, Love, Love!
The Love Paul calls us to is a Balanced Love
Verse 6, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love never rejoices in sin, or injustice or unrighteousness. Love can only be generated when there is truth.
1. There are times when Love Calls for action
Paul says when we see unrighteousness we cannot let it slide we must confront it. We must be willing to help people when they are caught in the trap of sin. The world says what we need be tolerant; let everyone do what they want after all they are not hurting anyone. But true Biblical love says, I cannot let you do what you want, I love you so much I am willing to take action in this matter – I will confront your sin, I will show you the dangers, I will help you get out of the pit. Galatians 6:1-2, Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Love requires us to take action – Love requires us to offer constructive criticism
When are we to take action? When do we offer constructive criticism? I believe we are called to action when there are some major issues.
Sin needs to be confronted – cannot turn a blind eye to an erring brother
If a problem is chronic – habitual problems cannot be ignored
If your proximity implies responsibility – if your children are rebellious, if a good friend is erring, you must speak the truth in Love
2. There are times when love calls for acceptance
Paul continues his thoughts on love when he writes in verses 4-5, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I also believe we are called not to be critical when the issues are minor. By minor I mean…
Personal preferences – each of us are unique in what we prefer
Music styles, diet, movie choices, entertainment choices, political views, etc.
Personality differences – Christ desire for his church was unity but not uniformity, therefore we must be flexible in the area of personality differences
Asking the questions is the difference morally wrong, illegal or does it bring harm to someone – if the answer is no we can seek unity
It is essential that the followers of Christ be the most accepting, non-judgmental, non faultfinding people on the planet
Biblical love learns to accept people’s failures and shortcomings. Love does not deny there are irritations; it simply recognizes that the irritations are minor in the grand scheme of things.
How does this work in the area of Criticism? Most issues are minor and they require loving acceptance that allows a person to grow and to be used by God. But there are times when Criticism is warranted, if not commanded. At those times love moves us to action
There are two questions we should ask that will help us transform our attitude from one of criticism to an attitude of love.
Do I see the benefits of love in my life? Do the relationships in my life show that love is pouring from my life? Remember what love is – in the major areas, am I taking action? And in the minors am I being a person of acceptance?
Am I choosing love over criticism moment by moment? Love is constant, but our attitudes are every changing, let us choose an attitude of love over an attitude of criticism
Each of our attitudes has had one thing in common – they area choice, we chose to be critical – we chose to love
What is your choice today?
Prayer
