Making Right Decisions In Times Of Stress - Genesis 16
This is a passage of Abram’s disobedience to God. He listened to the voice of his wife rather than God.
In order for us to learn something of importance from this passage, we need to understand two things:
1. THE STRESS THAT ABRAHAM WAS EXPERIENCING
• Unfulfilled Expectations
There was the problem of Sarah’s infertility. Apparently, she couldn’t have any children.
In those days, in that society, that was a real stigma. Sarah saw the problem as being caused by the Lord (v.2) but she was unwilling to wait for His answer to the situation.
Genesis 16:1-2 (NLT) Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. (2) So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal.
Sarai is the one who suggests to Abram that He take Hagar.
• Living With Bad Decisions
He took Hagar as a wife.
Genesis 16:3-4 (NLT) So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.) (4) So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt.
Back in chapter 12 Abram arrived in the land, then during a famine, went to live in Egypt.
When Pharaoh expelled Abram out of Egypt over the situation involving Sarah, he sent him out with possessions and servants, probably including Hagar (13:1).
It was culturally acceptable to have a maidservant as well as using female servants to bear children for an infertile couple.
It was acceptable, it was legal - but in God’s eyes, it was not right.
How many things are in our culture that are acceptable and legal - but in God’s eyes is sin?
• Stress of Family
There was the presence of Sarah herself.
Genesis 16:5-6 (NLT) Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!” (6) Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away.
Abram’s wife, Sarah, got on his case. He did wrong by listening to her advice which ran contrary to God’s word.
The issue is not that of listening to your wife. On the contrary. It has to listening to advice which is not in accordance to God’s word.
Abram’s habit was to call on the name of the Lord (12:8; 15:6), but in this moment of pressure he bypassed God’s direction.
• There Was The Pressure Of Time.
Genesis 16:3 (NLT) So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.)
This verse tells us that this came about “after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan.”
Micah 7:7-8 (NLT) As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. (8) Do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.
They had waited ten years, and nothing happened. They got discouraged, they lost sight of God’s perspective, and they looked to their own efforts and to what society deemed as acceptable.
It is hard to wait on the Lord, isn’t it? Many of us become disobedient because of impatience.
God has perfect timing. We must wait on the Lord – for His plan to be fulfilled.
• God’s Plan
God knew from the beginning what Abraham was going to do. He had a plan behind it all.
It is evident in the prophecy of the Angel of the Lord - vv. 10-12. The multiplication of the children of Ishmael, the Arab nations today, was part of the plan of God. GOD LOVES ARABS JUST AS MUCH AS ANY OTHER CULTURE.
Genesis 16:10-12 (NLT) Then he added, “I will give you more descendants than you can count.” (11) And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress. (12) This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.”
This plan is explained in Galatians 4:21-31.
In Galatians 4, we learn that this episode was to be an everlasting illustration of the difference between law and grace, between works and faith.
The plan of God was behind Abram’s disobedience.
Galatians 4:21-31 (NLT) Tell me, you who want to live under the law, do you know what the law actually says? (22) The Scriptures say that Abraham had two sons, one from his slave-wife and one from his freeborn wife. (23) The son of the slave-wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God’s promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God’s own fulfillment of his promise. (24) These two women serve as an illustration of God’s two covenants. The first woman, Hagar, represents Mount Sinai where people received the law that enslaved them. (25) And now Jerusalem is just like Mount Sinai in Arabia, because she and her children live in slavery to the law. (26) But the other woman, Sarah, represents the heavenly Jerusalem. She is the free woman, and she is our mother. (27) As Isaiah said, “Rejoice, O childless woman, you who have never given birth! Break into a joyful shout, you who have never been in labor! For the desolate woman now has more children than the woman who lives with her husband!” (28) And you, dear brothers and sisters, are children of the promise, just like Isaac. (29) But you are now being persecuted by those who want you to keep the law, just as Ishmael, the child born by human effort, persecuted Isaac, the child born by the power of the Spirit. (30) But what do the Scriptures say about that? “Get rid of the slave and her son, for the son of the slave woman will not share the inheritance with the free woman’s son.” (31) So, dear brothers and sisters, we are not children of the slave woman; we are children of the free woman.
Does that mean we should go out and sin so God’s plan can unfold? Absolutely not!
We won’t get away with anything. But we also need to remember that God can take our messed-up lives and use them in ways that turn out for His glory.
Romans 8:28 (NLT) And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Having looked, then, at the reasons for Abram’s disobedience, we need to look at one other thing:
2. THE RESULTS OF ABRAM’S DECISIONS
• Resentment
There was strong resentment by Sarah – vv. 4-5
Genesis 16:4-5 (NLT) So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. (5) Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!”
We have here the immediate bad consequences of Abram’s unhappy union to Hagar.
Sarai is despised, and provoked. Hagar no sooner sees herself with child by her Abram than she looks scornfully upon her mistress.
She probably insulted and provoked her. She probably touted the fact that she was pregnant and Sarai was not.
She probably indicated to Sarai that she would no longer be a servant anymore.
Sarai blames Abram for something that was originally her idea. So Abram just tells her to do handle Hagar in any way she wanted to (v.6). Everybody is hurt in this story.
• Bad Relationships
There were bad relationships between Abram, Sarai, and Hagar.
Why? Because of Sarah and Abram’s disobedience. DISOBEDIENCE TO GOD WILL ALWAYS HURT RELATIONSHIPS ALL THE WAY AROUND!
• God Showed Up
God kept loving them – in spite of their bad decisions.
Genesis 16:7 (NLT) The angel of the Lord found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur.
God found her JUST as He finds us in our distress.
Angel of the Lord - A pre-incarnate Christ appears to a little Egyptian slave girl and promised her that He would take care of her and her offspring.
Genesis 16:8 (NLT) The angel said to her, “Hagar, Sarai’s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress, Sarai,” she replied.
Notice that God gives Hagar a chance to unload.
Genesis 16:9 (NLT) The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority.”
God’s solution for Hagar is to go back and submit to Sarai.
Genesis 16:10 (NLT) Then he added, “I will give you more descendants than you can count.”
Notice the clear purpose that God gives Hagar in this difficult circumstance…
Genesis 16:11 (NLT) And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress.
Ishmael means “God hears me.”
He knew what she was going through, and the name of her son reminds us that He hears anyone who turns to Him for help. He is a God who hears.
Psalms 34:1-22 (NLT) I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. (2) I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. (3) Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together. (4) I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. (5) Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. (6) In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. (7) For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him. (8) Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! (9) Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. (10) Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing. (11) Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the Lord. (12) Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? (13) Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! (14) Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. (15) The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. (16) But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil; he will erase their memory from the earth. (17) The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. (18) The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (19) The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time. (20) For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous; not one of them is broken! (21) Calamity will surely overtake the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be punished. (22) But the Lord will redeem those who serve him. No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.
Psalms 120:1 (NLT) I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer.
Genesis 16:12-13 (NLT) This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.” (13) Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?”
She names the well after “The God who sees.”
God is the God who hears, the God who sees and the God who cares.
Genesis 16:14-16 (NLT) So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me”). It can still be found between Kadesh and Bered. (15) So Hagar gave Abram a son, and Abram named him Ishmael. (16) Abram was eighty-six years old when Ishmael was born.
The next time you are tempted to sprint ahead of God’s best for you, run your dilemma through these simple checks.
3. HOW DO I MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS IN TIMES OF STRESS
• Walk a little slower.
If the decisions facing you are creating a pressure cooker inside your head, slow down.
Take a long walk, sort out the issues confronting you, and reflect on the promises of God.
There is an appointed time for everything. Is it time to wait, or time to advance?
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT) For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
• Ask God for patience.
This is something that must be cultivated. Sometimes God uses the “hard times” in our life to cultivate this.
As you come to God, the steam will whistle out of the cooker, until, at last, the pressure has been relieved.
• Think through the ramifications of your decision.
What effect will this have on others?
