Handling Hurts
How to Deal With Pain
Today we are continuing our series from the 23 Psalm called Stress Busters. We will be looking today at how to handle hurts. Because we live in a fallen world we get hurt. We get hurt physically by accidents and disease. We get hurt emotionally by other people. Relationships can bring the greatest joy in our lives but at the same time they can bring the greatest pain. People hurt us sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes accidentally, and sometimes on purpose. Psalm 23 verse 5 says:
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over." Psalms 23:5 (NKJV)
How do you handle your hurts? Many times we handle hurts in the wrong manner. Today I want to talk about five WRONG ways to handle hurt and then I’ll talk about three RIGHT ways to handle hurt.
I. FIVE WRONG WAYS TO HANDLE HURT
1. IGNORE IT
This is the macho man approach to pain. Just suck it up. Pretend it doesn’t exist. Hope that it will go away. There are several ways we do this:
A. Deny it – That didn’t hurt me. I’m not mad.
B. Delay it – I’ll deal with that later. I don’t get mad I get even.
C. Minimize it – It’s no big deal. It didn’t hurt so bad.
Ignoring your hurt never heals it. You’ve heard it said, “Time heals all wounds” – but sometimes time makes the infection grow worse. Denying it, delaying it, minimizing it turns minor problems into major ones. Wounds get infected and spread when they aren’t dealt with. Look at what Psalm 39 says about trying to ignore hurt.
"I was mute with silence, I held my peace even from good; And my sorrow was stirred up." Psalms 39:2 (NKJV)
Ignoring our hurt does not work – it makes it worse.
2. RUN FROM IT
This is the Mr. Chicken approach to dealing with hurt. Escape. Retreat. Run as fast as you can. This is human nature. When we feel pain we run. Look at what Psalm 55 says:
“If only I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and find rest. How far away I would flee; I would stay in the wilderness. I would hurry to my shelter from the raging wind and the storm.” Psalms 55:6-8 (HCSB)
When people hurt they run. People run to: television, movies, drugs, shopping, divorce, alcohol, sex, food wherever we can use to find relief. But when we return the problem is still there. Running doesn’t solve it.
3. HIDE IT
Many of us are good at doing this. We wear a mask. We don’t tell anyone we hurt. We are quite good at camouflaging our pain. When someone asks if we are OK we say that everything is fine. We don’t like to admit that someone has hurt our feelings. If we admit that we are hurt we open ourselves up to more hurt – so we hide it.
Revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing.
The Bible says:
"Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed." James 5:16 (HCSB)
WORD OF CAUTION HERE: I don’t think this verse is talking about public confession. I think it is speaking about confessing to another Christian you trust. Find someone that you trust and they trust you. Keep confidentiality. Pray for one another. Encourage one another. Lift up one another. It takes mature Christians to care for one another.
Everybody has a hurt. You’re not alone. You’re not even the only one with the hurt you got. Share your hurt in a place that is safe and you will begin healing.
4. WORRY OVER IT
Sometimes we hover over our hurt like a mother hen hovers over her chicks. Worry is an attempt to control the uncontrollable. There are things in your life that you can not change. You are not God – so why try to be? Worry is playing the pain over and over again in your life. Here is what God’s word tells us to set our minds on.
"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:2-3 (NKJV)
Did you notice that Colossians even tells why we should set on mind on heavenly things: For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. If Christ is really in charge – why should I worry?
Worry never solves problems. It never heals hurts. The more you worry about it the bigger it seems.
5. BECOME BITTER ABOUT IT
Bitterness never makes you better. Yet sometimes when people hurt us we become bitter. We get angry and clothe ourselves in self pity. But bitterness hurts you more then it hurts the person you are bitter against. Bitterness is self destructive behavior. Bitter is a poison that will kill you.
James tells us:
"…man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness." James 1:20 (HCSB)
Anger and bitterness never heal hurt. But you ask – what does heal my hurt? Look at Psalm 25:5 again:
II. THREE RIGHT WAYS TO DEAL WITH HURT
Let’s look at our focal verse again:
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over." Psalms 23:5 (NKJV)
Circle the word “You”. “You” is found in this verse two times. Each time “You” is there with a specific plan. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. “You” is the Lord Himself. He is the one who can heal your hurt. So the first thing you need to do is:
1. Let Jesus PROTECT YOU
Sheep have many enemies – wolves, coyotes, bears, ticks, snakes. Sheep are very defenseless animals. They don’t run fast. They don’t sharp teeth. They don’t have claws. But they need protection and only the Shepherd can provide that.
The job of the Shepherd is to lead, feed and oversee. Part of overseeing the sheep is to protect them. God says let Me handle those who have hurt you. Let Me set things straight. Le Me take care of your enemies. Let Me set a table before you – even in the presence of your enemies. Look at what Romans 12 says:
"Repay no one evil for evil…If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:17-19 (NKJV)
Part of having faith in God, is trusting that He will protect you – even from your enemies. The longer you try to get revenge, the longer you are not trusting God.
2. Let Jesus HEAL YOU
There are two reasons that Shepherds put oil on the heads of sheep – (1) to sooth – (2) to heal. One of the worst enemies of sheep are flies. Have you ever been irritated by biting flies? Sheep get irritated too. The flies will bite the sheep so much that they will start bleeding. The bleeding just attacks more flies.
Isn’t it amazing how little things can cause so much irritation? What the Shepherd does is He takes olive oil and mixes in a little sulfur and puts the mixture on the head of the sheep as an insect repellant. This helps keep the flies away.
The other way that oil is used is as an ointment. When a sheep has an open wound the Shepherd puts oil on it to help the healing process and take away some of the pain. Psalm 147 talks about how God heals our hurts.
"He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds." Psalms 147:3 (NKJV)
That is what the Good Shepherd does for us. Sometimes He heals by sending people to help us – that is called fellowship. Sometimes He heals by making His presence known in our lives – that is called worship. Sometimes the healing takes place right away sometimes it takes time. But God always heals if we trust Him. He heals the brokenhearted – is a promise you can count on.
And even when we have been totally healed there are scars. There always are scars after you have been hurt. You have a choice when you look at those scars – you can either look at the scars and remember the hurt – or you can look at the scars and remember the healing. That’s your choice. You can focus on the hurt or focus on Healer. Reminding ourselves that God cares for us brings comfort.
"You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over." Psalms 23:5 (NKJV)
The third thing you can do is:
3. Let Jesus BLESS YOU
In the Bible an overflowing cup is a symbol for total satisfaction. It represents that all my needs are cared for. I am totally taken care of. I am totally blessed.
I’m not just a little blessed – I’m totally blessed! I’m not just itsy bitsy blessed – I’m mega blessed! I’m not just regular sized bless – I’m super sized bless! My cup is up to the brim and spilling out. My cup is overflowing.
Let me ask you, “How does Jesus bless you?” Are you living an overflowing life? Are you living in God’s abundance? Are you living in God’s victory? Let me tell you, if you have Jesus as your savior you can say “My cup runs over.”
Let me tell you three things that my cup runs over with.
A. My cup runs over with HOPE
The Bible says:
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 (NKJV)
Do you abound in Hope? We sing about it don’t we? “My Hope is built on nothing less – then Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust my sweetest frame – but wholly lean on Jesus name.” Folks the salvation that Jesus gives – makes our cup overflow with hope. Doesn’t it make yours? He had given us complete salvation. That’s hope. But that’s not all:
B. My cup runs over with LOVE
Look at what it says in 1 Thessalonians:
"And may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you, just as it does from us to you." 1 Thessalonians 3:12 (MSG)
My cup runs over with love. We sang this song as children- “Jesus love me this I know for the Bible tells me so.” Do you believe that? Do you believe that God loves you? He loves you so much that He would die for you. In fact He did die for – on a cross some 2000 years ago.
C. My cup runs over with JOY
John tells us:
"Ask in my name, according to my will, and he’ll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!" John 16:24 (MSG)
Have you ever been to someone’s home for a visit and wondered when you should leave. In the Middle East they have a custom. The host will continue to fill the cup of the guest as long as they are welcome. When it gets late the host will stop filling the cup – that is the sign that it’s time to go. God never stops filling your cup. You are always welcome at His house. He even says, “I’ll prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies; I’ll anoint your head with oil; your cup will always be overflowing.”
God has caused my cup to run over with hope, love and joy. What does your cup overflow with?
