How to Feed an Angry Man
Romans 12:20, 21
Romans 12:20-21
20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
(NIV)
Anger is one of the most debilitating emotions we wrestle with. It is unpredictable: It can be on us before we know it. Anger is a public enemy. You cannot hide it. Anger is a choice that becomes a habit.
It is a learned reaction to frustration, in which you behave in ways that you would rather not. In fact, according to one author, severe anger is a form of temporary insanity. You are insane whenever you are out of control of your behavior. Therefore, when you are angry and out of control, you are temporarily insane!
When we catch up with David today, we find him in a situation where he could be described as temporarily insane! This man after God’s own heart has lost his mind! His anger is so white hot that he is vengeful and intent upon murder! And it took a wise women and a meal to soothe the savage beast within. Ah, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all!
The Table Gets Set:
David and his 600 guerrilla fighters have been protecting the Israelites from their enemies, fighting off wild tribes in the wilderness of Paran and protecting shepherds and flocks along the countryside. According to the customs of that day, at the time of sheep shearing, it was common for the owner of the flocks to set aside a portion of the profit and give it to those who had come to the aid of the shepherds. It was kind of like tipping the waiter.
David and his men had been faithfully watching out for the flocks of a rich man named Nabal.
1 Samuel 25:2-3
2 A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel.
3 His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.
(NIV)
David, like a waiter waiting for his tip, expects to receive some reward:
1 Samuel 25:5-9
5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, "Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name.
6 Say to him: ’Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours!
7 "’Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing.
8 Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my young men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’"
9 When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited.
(NIV)
The problem is that Nabal is stingy and won’t pay up! Nabal couldn’t care less that David’s men had risked life and limb for him. He lives for only one thing: Himself!
1 Samuel 25:10-11
10 Nabal answered David’s servants, "Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days.
11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?"
(NIV)
Who do you know who is like that? Maybe it’s your employer, who thinks he has gotten where he is today without anyone’s help, much less yours! Alex Haley, the author of Roots, is credited with saying, “If you see a turtle on a fencepost, you can be sure he did not get there by himself!” A selfish boss is a hard person to work for!
Nabal is selfish, surley, and stupid! In fact his name means “fool” and he matches his name well! Even his wife says so later in this chapter!
David is not entertained by Nabal’s foolishness.
1 Samuel 25:12-13
12 David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word.
13 David said to his men, "Put on your swords!" So they put on their swords, and David put on his. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies.
(NIV)
What do you do when you or someone you care about is treated unfairly?
You get mad!
David got mad! David’s anger is on a fevered pitch. He’s at 211, just about ready to make a steam kettle whistle! Let’s face it! Not only is Nabal’s response to David’s men rude and crude, but it’s downright unkind and disrespectful. Besides all that, when men are hungry, they can be a little bit testy!
“Put on your swords, boys. We are gonna teach ol’ Nabal a lesson!” David even swore an oath saying,
1 Samuel 25:22
22 May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!"
(NIV)
David’s anger has made him temporarily insane. How do I know that? Let me ask some questions:
• Does anyone in their right mind strap on a sword when going to have a friendly discussion about their wages?
• Does anyone in their right mind gather an army together to get one little tightwad employer to pay up?
• Does anyone in their right mind have to swear death upon their own head if they do not put their skinflint boss out of their misery?
David has gone nuts! Can you imagine threating to blow up Applebee’s because your fork was dirty or your food was cold or you had to wait longer than the tem minutes you were told by the hostess? David is armed and dangerous, ready to make sure that this fool, Nabal, never treats anyone like this ever again.
How do you feed a man who is angry?
1. Serve him quickly!
When you are hungry, you want food! Some people go to buffets because they know they can get their food in a hurry! When Abigail hears what Nabal said to David’s men, the Bible says,
“Abigail lost no time.”( 1 Samuel 25:18)
She didn’t go fuss at Nabal (Verse 19 tells us that). She didn’t wait to see what would happen (the scripture does not indicate that Nabal threatened David’s men; he simply stated that he was not going to give them any of his proceeds). She heard the bad news and immediately went to work!
1 Samuel 25:18, 19
… She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys.
Then she told her servants, "Go on ahead; I’ll follow you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal.”
(NIV)
The first caterer in the Bible had to be Abigail! What a cook! But Abigail knew that David has been mistreated and would probably seek some kind of revenge. You have to think fast if you are going to diffuse the short fuse of an angry man. Abigail ran interference for here foolish husband and didn’t even let him know!
There are times when you have to think fast. Don’t ponder the situation or commiserate with everybody you know. Get with it and git-r-done!
I was amused at the little guy who got on a plane and sat down in a window seat. He started enjoying a book, but a big Texan, weighing about 275 pounds, came and sat next to him. The Texan spilled over into his side of the seat until the little guy had to scoot over in the corner to be comfortable. The plane took off and the little guy became more and more angry, but he couldn’t do anything about it. The big Texan just went to sleep. They hit rough weather, and the combination of swallowed anger and turbulence was too much for the little guy; he became sick and threw up all over the big Texan. The Texan shook himself awake, and looked at the mess in disbelief. The little guy said to the big Texan, "You must feel awful! Perhaps it was something you ate that made you so sick?"
2. Serve him respectfully!
This is the salad and soup part of the meal! The bread and butter brought to tide you over before the main course! If this is not done right, the rest of the meal will be ruined!
1 Samuel 25:20, 23
20 As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them.
23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground.
(NIV)
David is coming at full tilt, barreling down the hill. The only thing louder that the horses hoofs are the growling stomachs of David and his men. Abigail did not go storming up against David, giving him the hand, and demanding that he cool his jets! She approached him with respect, faith, and tactfulness.
Proverbs 15:1
1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
(NIV)
3. Speak wisely!
Abigail now brings on the main course!
1 Samuel 25:24-31
24 She fell at his feet and said: "My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say.
25 May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name-- his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent.
26 "Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal.
27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you.
28 Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD’s battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live.
29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling.
30 When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel,
31 my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant."
(NIV)
David found this principle to be true:
Romans 12:19
19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
(NIV)
Let God be your defender and your enemies will always get their just desserts!
Romans 12:21
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
(NIV)
