Dr. Roger W. Thomas, Preaching Minister
First Christian Church, Vandalia, MO
Family Classics Series
Honoring Mom
Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3
The Fifth Commandment is different from the rest of the Ten Commandments. The call to honor one’s parents is positive. The other nine are negative. “Thou shall not . . .” This is the first one to speak to a non-religious issue. Nor does it speak to the normal kind of ethical and moral matters that the following five address. It is a bridge commandment. The ones before deal with divine obligations, the ones after with social obligations. It is also the first commandment with a promise. That’s the factor that the New Testament picks up and highlights.
The Fifth Commandment is important for all of those reasons and more. It is at the heart of God’s plan for man. It is about family relationships. Those relationships are the keystone of our social and spiritual wellbeing. We can all benefit from a greater appreciation of this commandment.
The fifth commandment calls for all children of all ages to honor their parents. Why? What are the reasons for bestowing honor on our mothers and fathers? Several come to mind. I will summarize them with three. Since this is Mother’s Day, we will concentrate on mom’s part of the equation. In many ways the same principles apply to dads. We honor our moms because:
She deserves to receive honor. The words are very simple: "Honor your father and your mother." The key word is "honor." The Hebrew word literally meant to “be heavy." The basic sense is "to treat someone with respect because they carry a heavy weight of authority. Sometimes we speak of certain dignitaries as being "heavyweights." The commandment calls for treating our parents as VIPs because they deserve it. To "honor" means to treat with dignity, respect and deference.
Sometimes moms don’t get the honor and respect they deserve. Their role and responsibilities go under appreciated. In a world that tends to measure everything in terms of finances and position we can miss the vital contributions a mother makes. For the many that work outside the home and care for a family, too often we act like the real job is the one that brings home a paycheck. A world that thinks that way has messed up priorities.
Some unknown mom sought to correct some of this distorted thinking with the following observations: Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby. Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history. Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct. Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping. Somebody said being a mother is boring. Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.
Somebody said if you’re a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good." Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee. Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices .Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window. Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother. Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first. Somebody doesn’t have more than one child. Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books. Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose. Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery. Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.
Somebody never organized seven giggling Girl Scouts to sell cookies. Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married. Somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings. Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home. Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her. Somebody isn’t a mother. (SOURCE: Mikey’s Funnies Web site: http://www.youthspecialties.com/linker/index.php?id=141)
Moms, we honor you today. We honor your hard work, your unconditional love, your sacrifice, and your undying devotion to your young. Moms of all ages we salute you. Moms with little ones, we know how hard you work. Moms with school age kids we know your devotion and unending concern for your young. You want so much for them to get off to a good start. Moms of teenagers, we know your worries and hopes. Moms and grandmas with grown kids, we know your love, concern, and devotion never ends. We salute you. We honor you because you deserve it.
We honor moms because they deserve it. But there’s a second reason. We honor them because we need to give it. If your mom or the mother of your children says she doesn’t want you to make a fuss over her on Mother’s Day, she’s lying. If you believe her, you’re a fool. Even if she does mean it, you still need to do it. Giving honor to whom honor is due says something about you. How you feel and express gratitude exposes your character and heart. If you’re an adult, your kids need to see it even your mother says she doesn’t.
Of course, honor should be about more than a once a year flower and a Hallmark card. The woman who was responsible for launching our Mother’s Day tradition knew that even if others didn’t. American Mother’s Day is the result of one woman’s efforts. Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948) first suggested the national observance of an annual day honoring all mothers because she had loved her own mother so dearly. At a memorial service for her mother on May 10, 1908, Miss Jarvis gave a carnation (her mother’s favorite flower) to each person who attended. Within the next few years, the idea of a day to honor mothers gained popularity. A number of large cities began to hold special observances. Finally, following a letter writing campaign, Jarvis convinced congress and President Woodrow Wilson to proclaim the second Sunday of May in 1914 as a national Mother’s Day.
The idea took off. The day became such a commercial success almost immediately that Jarvis soon regretted her efforts. But by the early 1920s, she was sickened by the commercial circus she had helped create. She felt the way the day turned out had little to do with celebrating the real achievements of women like her mother. In fact, she spent much of latter years trying to have the day repealed. She felt that all the commercial emphasis was doing more harm than good. Just before her death Jarvis told a local reporter: "I devoted my entire life to Mother’s Day and the racketeers and grafters have taken it over."
Hopefully, our honoring of mothers won’t fall victim to the shallow commercialization. May our words, gifts, and actions flow from a genuine attitude of gratitude, respect, and appreciation. It isn’t about gifts or cards. Those are simply tokens of love and honor. The real honor comes from personal and public words that give our moms and all the ladies who contribute so much to our lives the kind of honor they deserve. We honor our mothers because they deserve it and because we need to voice that honor.
There’s a third reason we honor our parents and on this day, especially our mothers. We need to do it. They deserve it. But such honor and respect is also part of God’s plan for human survival. Colossians 3:20 says, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." It is no accident that this commandment is in the Big Ten. It is not an add on. It is not an after thought. It is the heart of the commandments. This is God’s plan for teaching and preserving the other nine. Family matters—to our young, to our society, and to our God.
Our text says that this commandment leads to a long life. I think that involves the promises of God’s blessings. But I think there is something even more simple and obvious. Good, strong families provide foundations for the future. Children who grow up in honoring families will be pointed in the right direction. They will know greater peace, less stress and worry, and be much more likely to grow up free of all the baggage that destroys and even shortens lives.
Deuteronomy 5:16 slants the promise in a slightly different direction. "Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you." The command promises not only long life, but a successful life as well.
Every teacher in this room can tell you that schools aren’t really the key to learning. It is family. Kids from good strong supportive families succeed in school. Kids from families who could care less seldom do. The same is true spiritually. Every preacher and Sunday School teacher knows that what takes place in these walls has little impact on a kid’s spiritual development compared to what happens in the walls of the family home. God-centered families where parents pour their spiritual values and faith into the lives of their kids and kids who honor their parents because of that are families that produce a spiritual legacy that nothing can destroy.
The Fifth Commandment is not limited to small children and teenagers. We often read it as if it were. It applies to all ages. Grown
children, no less than growing children, need to honor their mothers and fathers. After all, where do you think our children learn how to honor us? They learn to give honor when they see honor given.
A word of grace—Mother’s Day is not always a pleasant experience for everyone. For those who have only recently lost a mother, this can be one of those tough days. The grief can feel fresh all over again. To you I say, “Our God is a God of comfort. Draw near to him and he will draw near to you.”
Women who have never had children can often feel left out on days like this. There are lots of reasons that couples don’t have children. Sometimes by choice; sometimes not. If you have never had a child of your own, I want to honor and thank you on behalf of all the other people’s children you have loved and helped through the years. This church has been blessed with countless men and women who have poured their lives into the lives of other’s young. If you are one of those, we honor you today.
For some, days like this bring a flood of unhappy memories. Not all children grow up with good recollections of their childhood. Not all moms (and dads) always did the right thing. Some of you probably experience some pretty dark emotions on days like this. If this is your lot, I encourage you too to reach out to the Lord who heals memories and makes forgiveness possible. You don’t have to live alone with those bad memories. The Lord who loves you wants to help carry the burden.
Finally, there is probably no more guilt inducing profession than parenthood. Mothers especially can sometimes carry a pretty heavy load of regret. It may not be that you did (or are doing) a bad job. You just have such high expectations of yourself. That’s not all bad. But guilt is a burden no one needs bear alone. The Lord who made you and loves you and made you a parent knows and understands. He stands ready and willing to bring release from guilt and cleansing from all sin. He is just a prayer away!
Mothers, we honor you! May that honor bring you great joy today and every day!
***Dr. Roger W. Thomas is the preaching minister at First Christian Church, 205 W. Park St., Vandalia, MO 63382 and an adjunct professor of Bible and Preaching at Central Christian College of the Bible, 911 E. Urbandale, Moberly, MO. He is a graduate of Lincoln Christian College (BA) and Lincoln Christian Seminary (MA, MDiv), and Northern Baptist Theological Seminary (DMin).
