Text: 1 Peter 3:7
Title: The Christian Husband
Date/Place: LSCC, 10/9/05, AM
A. Opening illustration: Panel of Women debated on what they thought was a perfect man, a guy who was ‘with it’. You would have thought they would have decided upon some actor or athlete even a wealthy tycoon. They decided that the perfect man was MR POTATO HEAD. 4 Reasons: ‘He’s tan, he’s cute, he knows the importance of accessorizing, and if he looks at another girl you can rearrange his face, “the perfect husband” ill file
B. Background to passage: This is the first time in Peter’s address in which he addresses the party that carries the authority. In the Greco-Roman culture, a husband was very powerful in the family. Most husbands had no real friendship with their wives, and treated them in a very authoritarian manner. But Peter instructs Christian husbands to use their authority to support and honor their wives. Peter gives a couple of motivating factors at the end of the verse that are important to bring up now as a foundation for biblical headship in the home. Just as wifely submission is not “a barefoot, pregnant, domestic servanthood where you speak only when spoken to” relationship. Headship is not an authoritarian domination of the male, abusing his power to rule over his home like a miniature king. In fact, male headship in a marriage is about responsibility more than authority. Peter affirms from the start that husbands and wives have equality in value and worth before the Lord as joint heirs to grace of God. However, in Peter’s understanding this does not contradict the differing roles in marriages, nor the differences in the sexes in general. Secondly, Peter tells husbands that their fellowship and favor with God will be stifled, if they fail as husbands.
C. Main thought: Our text will show three ways Christian husbands are supposed to treat their wives.
II. BODY
A. A Christian Husband Must Study His Wife (v. 7)
1. Peter tells them to “dwell with,” including the whole of the marriage relationship, “their wives, according to knowledge.” Peter is commissioning husbands to be a lifetime student of their wives. But not only of wives, but of marriage and God’s purposes and structure for it. Women are very complex, so they require that we study them to learn them. But knowledge in and of itself is not enough. They are to live according to that knowledge. They are to use this personal insight to better equip them as to how to demonstrate their love and care for their wives. According to Eph 5, a husband is to nourish, cherish, protect, satisfy, provide for, care for, and sacrifice himself for his wife. But they don’t come with a built in knowledge of how to do that.
2. James 1:19, Pro 11:29,
3. Illustration: Jim Henry’s wife making an appt with him. The husband who was told by the marriage counselor to try and be more considerate of his wife. One day he comes home from work. He’s dressed up in a suit, he has cologne on, and he has a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy in his hands. He rings the doorbell and he’s standing there as she opens the door he holds out the flowers and the box of candy. The wife opens the door takes one look at he standing there and starts crying. In between her sobs she says, "Oh, I can’t believe it! Little Johnny has been throwing up; … the dishwasher just broke; … your parents are coming to visit this weekend and … to top it all off, you come home drunk! Someone asked Einstein’s wife if she understood the theory of relativity, and she said no, but she understood Dr. Einstein.
4. In order to know God’s plan for marriage, one must study it as well. Make it your lifetime goal to always be learning about marriage, and how to be the best husband that you can be. In order to study them you must make time for them. You must spend quality and quantity time with your wife. You must listen to her. As the head of the home, it is your responsibility to make sure that it happens. Even if you have to make the arrangements to have someone watch the kids, swap days off with another employee to make time. Don’t let this study denigrate into a purely academic exercise. Make it a labor of love. Learn what you wife’s favorite things are, and get them. Learn where her strengths and weaknesses are, and shield her. Learn her wants and desires, as well as needs. Learn what is really important to her. We are supposed to be learners of our wives, so that we can demonstrate our love and order our lives so as best to serve her. Our primary role as a leader, is that of a servant leader, like Christ.
B. A Christian Husband Must Honor His Wife (v. 7)
1. Husbands should treat their wives fine china, not a paper plate. It means to respect, reverence, exalt, or esteem them. Show everyone, including them, that your wife has dignity, high ranking, and great status in your eyes. Husbands are supposed to lift up their wives. They should value them. Husbands should view their wives as co-heirs, partners, God-provided helpers, and those that complete their lives and their ministries. Like submission, this is more than external; this is attitude. Husbands must demonstrate that apart from Christ their wives are the highest priority to them, bar none.
2. Col 3:19, Pro 12:4, 18:22, 19:14,
3. Illustration: Show me the man you honor and I will know what kind of man you are. - Thomas Carlyle, A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you’re the boss." The husband takes the doctor’s advice. He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife’s face, and growls, "From now on, you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I’m going out with the boys, and you are going to stay at home where you belong. And another thing, guess who’s going to comb my hair, give me a shave, and tie my necktie?"
His wife says calmly, "The undertaker." Mackenzie likes to pick up everything, but when she gets ahold of something that is precious to me, the attitude I have changes.
4. Again, this is not dependent upon the behavior, godliness, or likeability of your wife. You treat your wife as you should regardless of how she treats you. Treat her as the woman that she can become. You must never allow your love for your wife to lead you into sin. Treat your wife as a priceless vessel, a great treasure. Talk about her in front of others as this treasure. Think about her at all times, not simply just when you want something. Women are very intuitive and emotional, therefore we must ask ourselves the question, do our wives feel exalted and esteemed. Have that conversation with your husbands, ladies, and be honest. Husbands, you may have to work hard at redetermining value in your life. You may have to work and prioritizing your wife as number one behind Christ alone.
C. A Christian Husband Must Protect His Wife (v. 7)
1. Peter uses a word here to describe the wife that means delicate and feminine. The word for weaker is a comparative term giving us some insight as to its meaning. Note: by comparison, Peter is saying that a man is a vessel too, so this is not derogatory or demeaning in any way. In fact, it probably has in mind the fact that men and women are simply creations of God formed out of the dust of the ground. Peter probably has three shades of meaning to “weaker”: 1) physically, 2) emotionally (sensitive), 3) authority in marriage. Hence, the duty of the stronger is protect, shelter, provide for, nurture, and care for the weaker. Spiritual leadership is part of protection.
2. Gen 2:23, Eph 5:25-29
3. Illustration: OK honey… when we get off the train at the next stop “YOU CARRY the Suitcases, Erika will dispute prices at a store if something is on sale, and doesn’t ring up right, but she doesn’t like to talk with insurance companies, or utilities, not that she is not able, just doesn’t like it, “Woman was not taken from Adam’s foot, so that he should rule over her absolutely, nor his head so that she would rule over him, but from his side, so that she would be beside him and protected by his strong arm” “Is that necessary?”
4. Husbands, you should know the soft spots of your wife and protect her from things that would injure her. This means that you must be spiritually alert to attacks against her, and her spiritual struggles. She is to feel safe around you. This means that verbally you do not assault the tender parts of her heart. Obviously, there is no excuse for physical violence. You do not place her in situations where she will be overwhelmed. You stand beside her through difficulties that you must face together. You are to support her and guard her. This means that you should look for ways to ease her burden, and help out in any way that you can.
III. CONCLUSION
A. Closing illustration: a pastor told of a time when he was at a hospital with his father in ICU. Outside the door, he met a man who was there with his wife of 36 years for 49 days at that point.
B. Invitation to commitment
