Text: Rom 12:9-21, Fellowship is More Than Food, part 2, Date/Place: NRBC, 1/28/07, PM
A. Opening illustration: In C.S. Lewis’ book, The Four Loves, he says there are four basic kinds of love. He gives them their Greek names: agape -- the God-like self-giving love even toward enemies; philia -- the love of friendship and camaraderie; eros -- the love of romance and desire and sexual attraction; and storge -- the love of affection that arises through natural attachment, a child, a dog, a favorite old shabby sweater, a spot in the woods.
B. Background to passage: same as this morning’s
C. Main thought: It is beyond the scope of this message to deal with the entirety of the text, but we will stick with the heading, and pull out six things that we need to work toward for genuine biblical fellowship. We will do three this morning, and three more tonight.
A. Sympathize and empathize (v. 15)
1. Paul teaches the concept that when one member in the body hurts or triumphs, we all hurt or triumph with it. As members of the same family, we rejoice when our brothers or sisters are rejoicing (by the way, this is the more difficult of the two). As members of the same body, when a finger is broken the whole body hurts. To sympathize means to try to understand people situations, and to empathize means to feel what they feel. There is an implied and understood concept of intimacy within the body. Not fake relationships, friendliness, and courtesy, but real life, deep issues, bearing your heart, sharing fears and hurts kind of intimacy.
2. 1 Cor 12:26, 2 Cor 1:3, 1 Pet 3:8, Matt 9:36, John 11:35, Acts 20:37-38
3. Illustration: Several weeks before graduation, Bill approached Mark and asked him if he remembered that day they met when Mark helped him with all of his stuff. Mark nodded as he remembered. Bill then asked, “Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things that day?” Without pausing for an answer, Bill explained he had cleaned out his locker and was going home to take his life. He had been storing away sleeping pills and was headed home to end it all when Mark happened along to help him out. The verb usually used to speak of this compassion is splanchnizomai which speaks of the bowels of mercies, meaning an intense pain from within the gut for another’s pain, When there is pain and suffering enters into the life of a family member, they all suffer together—whether it is time in the hospital, helping fix meals, crying together. Tell about the man who had the hurt finger and everywhere he touches hurts, Mark and Derek are two brethren at LSCC whose wives have abandoned them. They have become close. They call each other almost daily, hold one another accountable emotionally, and listen to one another. "Compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too."
4. We need other people; other people need you, especially in times of weeping and rejoicing. This means that you have to know what is going on in other people’s lives! Not getting close enough to get hurt is not an option. We are commanded to love and to care for other people in the body. You are not promised never to get hurt, rejected, or misunderstood. And this too will probably cost you time. But we are all called to be ministers, priest’s one to another for Christ. To begin with we need to ask God to help us care for others. Ask him to help you begin to be less self-centered, and more able to be affected by other people’s pain. Then we have to be willing and vulnerable to allow people to see the real us. Then we have to participate in activities that promote relationship growth. And the same kind of compassion that causes us to empathize with others in there emotional pain will help us have compassion for their spiritual needs, as they wander about as sheep without a shepherd.
B. Slay partiality and pride (v. 16)
1. Paul makes three statements here that are related to how we treat other people. First he says that we should “think the same thoughts toward each other.” There is some discussion among the commentators as to whether he is speaking strictly of unity and mind-set, or if Paul is saying not to exhibit partiality. I think combined with the next two phrases it is the later. He is saying think toward each other the same way. Then he says to associate with the lowly or humble, and not to think too much of your own wisdom and intelligence. And so I believe that all three of these things address an attitude that we all wrestle with—pride which leads to partiality and prejudice.
2. Luk 7:44-46, James 2:1-12
3. Illustration: A wise man once told me, “Everyone is prejudice; the key is how we deal with it.” Last week, Bernie came to the church door. He showed up about five minutes before I was getting ready to leave for an appointment, and my first response to his arrival was, oh, no, not now…. And the Lord spoke to me clearly that, despite my initial attitude, all Bernie really needed was compassion. I watched as Bernie sort of stumbled into the ER at Hillcrest. I was ashamed of my initial attitude, and the Lord said to me clearly: all he needed was a little compassion. When he entered the sanctuary, however, the usher refused to give him a seat and suggested that he go worship with his own people. Gandhi left the church and never returned. “If Christians have caste differences also,” he said, “I might as well remain a Hindu.”
4. A few areas that this pops up are: racial prejudice, intellectual elitism (and its counterpart of disdain for education), economic partiality, sexual discrimination, addictive behaviors and sins. Paul says to think the same way about a rich man as a poor man, a person with a doctors degree the same as a man who finished the 8th grade and went to work, a prostitute the same way as an unchurched housewife, a Pakistani woman just the same as a native South Georgian women. As Christians, we are supposed to associate with those less fortunate, less educated, less self-controlled, etc. We are called to reach out to those that are not like us! And this is not natural. Just like these other admonitions today, we must fight these things consciously tooth and nail. We must constantly be cutting off the hand and gouging out the eyes. Sin is no laughing matter; it is a battle that goes on, that potentially can destroy you.
C. Set your sights on peace (v. 18)
1. Paul says that this is the goal for the life of a Christian: peace. The word means to live in harmony and be of one accord. And he gives two qualifications to this command. First, he says “if it is possible.” Paul recognizes that in some situations peace is not possible. Secondly, Paul also realizes that peace within relationships is a two-way street. That is why he gives the second qualification that we must live in peace with all men (not some, not the ones that agree with us, not the Christians only, etc.) is that “as much as it depends on you.” Paul says that in times of discord, you make sure that you have gone the extra mile to repair any damage to relationships. Some people are just never going to forgive you and repair relationships.
2. Matt 5:24, 18:15, 35, Luk 17:3-4, Col 3:13,
3. Illustration: it never ceases to amaze me in marriage counseling how clueless a lot of men are when you ask them about the state of their marriage. They have no idea that their wife is hurting and the marriage is sinking—two way street. The Civil War was carnage. Then Jefferson Davis of the Confederacy died. And Ulysses Grant of the Union died. Their widows, Varina Davis and Julia Grant, settled near each other. They became closest of friends. Reconciliation between Charlie and I
4. There are times when peace is not desirable. Peace at the expense of truth is not what is called for in this text. Peace at any cost is not what’s called for either. However, we are warned to be careful about what we divide over. Similar to anger, the justifiable reasons for division are God-ordained. They are not things that upset our personal preferences or egos or plans. It is your duty to seek reconciliation and forgiveness. And you might say, “But they hurt me.” You can only fix yourself, and you are only responsible for yourself. Broken relationships in a church ignored dishonor God. And I can feel the tension in this place when I address this issue. Because some of you are involved in it, and the rest of you know about it going on between others in the church.
Closing illustration: Read the lines for Blest Be the Tie that Binds, p. 387 in Baptist Hymnal. In 1773, the young pastor of a poor church in Wainsgate, England, was called to a large and influential church in London. John Fawcett was a powerful preacher and writer, and these skills had brought him this opportunity. But as the wagons were being loaded with the Fawcetts’ few belongings, their people came for a tearful farewell. During the good-byes, Mary Fawcett cried, “John, I cannot bear to leave!” “Nor can I,” he replied. “We shall remain here with our people.” The wagons were unloaded, and John Fawcett spent his entire fifty-four-year ministry in Wainsgate. Out of that experience, Fawcett wrote the beautiful hymn, “Blest Be the Tie that Binds.”
A. Questions and Answers
