SERVING AS FRIENDS
John 15:13-17
John Tung, 1-21-07
I. Introduction
Already this year we have seen our new deacons become ordained and installed. They have agreed to serve as deacons. And besides the deacons, there are many others in the church who have also given themselves to serve others and to serve God.
But the word “servant” seems to be out-of-favor these days. No one really likes to be known as a servant. It seems to connote the idea of being lowly, perhaps even badly treated, and with not much reward.
But it wasn’t that way in the Bible. In the Bible, the word servant was often highly regarded. When the word is applied to God’s people serving God, the word servant is highly appropriate. In our relationship to God, we were meant to serve him.
That’s why when we come to our passage today we read something we do not expect. We read that Jesus gave his servants another title, a very surprising title besides being called servants.
The passage I am talking about is John 15:13-17. [Read.]
John 15:13-17 “13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-- fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
II. Four Reasons Jesus Calls Us His Friends and Not Just Servants
The verse that stands out in this passage is Jesus saying to his disciples - his servants - that “I no longer call you servants … but I have called you friends.”
This doesn’t mean the disciples never referred to themselves as servants anymore. They did.
Paul, Peter and John all said in their letters that they are servants of Jesus Christ. They knew that they were serving Jesus Christ.
But besides being servants, Jesus wanted them to know and us to know that his relationship with us exists on a deeper basis than that of being his servants.
It’s kind of like when I came to serve on our church staff. In one of our first meetings, Pastor Liu told me that I could call him Jonathan. I was kind of taken back by that, because he was my boss. But he wanted me to see our relationship as more than that of boss and worker, but also as friends. But even though I know I can call him Jonathan, I still prefer to call him Pastor Liu to show him respect in our working relationship. But I also know that he has ministered to me as a friend.
So, when Jesus says, “You are now my friends, and not just my servants,” what is he saying to his disciples is that “even though you are serving me, but don’t think of your relationship to me only in that way, as your boss. It is more than that.”
Jesus is telling us that there is something more about being a friend than being a servant.
As we look at these five verses, Jesus tells us four reasons why he is calling us his friends.
A. Friends give much more of themselves than servants: to the point of laying down our life - vs. 13
The first reason is that friends give much more of themselves than servants: to the point of laying down our life (slide).
The first reason is in vs. 13, where Jesus says to them, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
This is a general statement that we agree with, but find it hard to do ourselves. Even if we are good friends with someone, will we be willing to lay down our life for them? Perhaps even to the point of death?
If you have a friend who is willing to lay down his life for you, that is great. That is amazing. That is truly a very special friendship. We might even call them heroes. Like the man in NYC who jumped down into the subway tracks and covered up a man who was having seizures and had accidentally fallen down onto the tracks. And as a result he saved him. But the even more amazing thing is that this man didn’t know the man who fell.
But perhaps even the best of friends may not be willing to cross that line. Perhaps we are willing to do a lot for our friends, but not give our life to them, to die for them.
I don’t want us to get caught up in that issue and make us think that unless we die for our friends, we are not really a friend.
Instead, we should realize who is saying this and whom is Jesus thinking of when he says this.
Jesus knows that his disciples are not always so courageous and sacrificial. On the last night of Jesus’ lie on earth, the apostle Peter even said, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows three times, you will disown me three times” (Jn. 13:37-38.)
Our sacrifice for Jesus can often be more in words than in action. Our part in the relationship with Jesus is often weak, and it is He who is the one who holds the relationship together.
But that is the point, this verse in Jn. 15:13 really is speaking about Jesus himself.
Jesus is our friend and he lays down his life for us.
Jesus calls us friends because he has become our friend. At one point we were his enemies, separated from him by our sins. But he initiated the reconciliation process and approached us to become our friends by dying for us.
And now that he is our friend and not just our master, there is a deeper closeness in our relationship.
If Jesus were a master over his servants, would a master lay down his life for his servants? Probably not. Who has heard of that? But every now and then, you do hear that a friend has given up his life for another friend. Like the soldier in Iraq who fell on a grenade in order to save his two buddies.
In this verse Jesus is saying that because he is our friend, he is willing to lay down his life for us.
This is why he is not just a master over us his servants, but he is a friend to us.
B. Friends are given much more words of explanation than servants - vs. 15
But there is a second reason why Jesus calls us his friends and no longer servants.
And that is because friends are given much more words of explanation than servants (slide).
In vs. 15, Jesus says to them, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”
What Jesus is saying is that as a servant, the master usually just gives an order to get something done, and doesn’t bother to give further explanation of why this should be done.
You might tell someone who works for you: “Go clean that up” or “Go get this done.” But with a friend, you will sit down, have a cup of coffee or tea, or bubble tea for our younger friends, and say something like, “Let me tell you what I have in mind and what do you think about that?”
With friends, we look them in the face and talk to them. With servants, a master might not even look at him and just give an order. That’s why in the OT, we read that, “The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.”
With friends, we give much more information and explanation as well as listen to their voices than in an employer to employee relationship.
And Jesus gave to his disciples so much information. He told them why he came to earth. He told them about His heavenly Father. He told them that when he leaves his Father will send the Holy Spirit so they will never be alone. He told them what will happen in the days ahead, when he will be crucified and then raised. He told them how to remain in his love even after he leaves them. He told them all these things because friends will tell each other so much more details about themselves and their life.
Now sometimes, someone who works with us can become our friends because we have worked together for a long time.
We have a neighbor who has hired the same person to do their yard maintenance for years. This man would mow their grass, edge the lawn, trim the bushes, seed the grass. And now they talk as if they are friends. They ask about each other’s family and vacations. They talk about each other’s hobbies. They have grown from a hiring relationship to a friendly relationship.
They call each other on a first name basis. They not only have a working relationship; they have a friendship.
C. Friends are chosen to be blessed by our relationship while servants are chosen to get work done - vs. 16
The third reason why Jesus calls his disciples friends and not servants is in vs. 16.
There we read, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.”
Jesus says I have chosen you to be my friends so that you will benefit from my relationship with you and that you would bear fruit.
Friends are like that. We choose friends so that we can be blessed by the friendship, whereas servants are chosen to get the work done. This is the third reason. (Slide says “Friends are chosen to be blessed by the relationship while servants are chosen to get work done.”)
We pick workers based on their ability to get the job done. We check their written referrals or resumes. We want to hire someone who can get the job done. When I had a roof estimator come last weekend to give us an estimate of an eventual roof replacement, one of the questions I asked him was can he write down where else in our neighborhood he has done roofs, so that I can go there and take a look at his work or ask the owners what their experience of his work is like. I wanted someone who can actually get the job done.
But we choose friends differently. We choose friends not so that we can get them to do some job for us, but we choose them because we feel that we can both benefit from the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness that come from a good friendship.
We can say that these are the fruits of a good friendship. Interestingly, they are also the fruits of the Spirit that Jesus enables us to bear when we are his friends.
So when Jesus says that I appointed you to bear fruit he is saying that I have chosen you to be my friend and I want to give you the blessings that come from that friendship.
Yes, Jesus chose us to fulfill a God-appointed purpose on earth too, and we all have a purpose on earth. But the thing we must keep in mind is that first of all, at the foundation of that purpose is that Jesus came to develop a friendship with us and not to use us.
D. Friends do things out of love - vss. 14, 17
The fourth reason Jesus calls us friends is that friends do things out of love for each other (slide).
We see this from both vs. 14 and vs. 17.
In vs. 14, when we read that Jesus said, “You are my friends if you do what I command,” that might sound like a very harsh deal.
We might hear something like this: “If you do what I tell you to do, then you are my friend.” That doesn’t sound very friendly, it might sounds very demanding.
But friends really want to listen to their friends and do what pleases them.
This is why Abraham was called God’s friend because he was willing to do what God wanted when God said to offer his son Isaac to him. Abraham was willing to do this because he believed that God can raise the dead.
Abraham was a friend of God, not just in words, but also in this great action.
And we ought to put our faith to action by loving God and loving each other.
This is why in vs. 14 it says to do what Jesus commands you to do. When you obey him in the decisions he wants you to make, when you follow through on the details of what would please him, then he knows you are his friend.
And there is also the love that we have for one another, which is another sign that we are friends.
In vs. 17, Jesus says, “This is my command, love each other.”
Be wiling to make sacrifices of time and money for one another. Be willing to say truthful things to each other that need to be lovingly said. Be willing to forgive one another when there have been hurts. Be willing to serve one another. Be willing to support each other during difficulties, which the disciples will shortly be facing. In all of these concrete ways, show your love for one another. And that’s what friends do for each other.
III. Applications
There are several applications that we can draw from in this understanding of our relationship to Jesus in serving him. I want to share three of them with you.
1. As his friends, we want to serve Jesus. As his friends, it doesn’t mean we don’t have to do anything for Jesus. No, but the difference is that as Jesus’ friends, we do things for him because we want to and not because we have to (slide).
We should change our thinking from thinking of serving God as our duty to thinking of our serving God as our desire.
When we think of serving God as our duty, that is a servant. Then we work as if we are earning favor from God. Then it puts a strain on us, and our relationship to God can become one of a burden we have to carry. “Aw, I have to do that or he won’t be happy with me.” But when we think of serving God as our desire, then it is done from our heart and willingly. Friends do things willingly for each other.
In this sense, as his friends, it doesn’t mean we forget that he is also our God and deserves our worship, but we also see ourselves as his friends and we are amazed that he would call us and treat us as his friends.
2. The second application is we realize that the best working relationships are when friends are working together.
The best working relationships are not just those of a boss and a worker – in which their work is all that matters. No, the best working relationships are when we see each other as friends. (Slide says: The best working relationships are when friends are working together.)
That’s why when deacons serve or SS teachers serve with other teachers or ushers ushering or committees meet, or teen officers serve, see your fellow workers as your friends. Treat them like your friends, and not just workers.
This doesn’t mean we don’t have working relationships, we do. In the work world, there are professional relationships of performance and accountability. So, don’t go into the office the next day and treat your boss or your teacher as if it doesn’t matter what you do or how well you do it and just say we’re friends. There are professional relationships that we have to maintain.
But what Jesus is point out here is that don’t treat all relationships like that either. There are many relationships that can become friendships.
3. As we imitate Jesus, we develop relationships so that they become friendships.
This leads to the third application, which is that as we imitate Jesus, we develop relationships so that they become friendships (slide).
Some examples of this are that we try to move beyond a formal, distant relationship with people we know to moving into a deeper kind of relationship where eventually may be friends.
When we go on missions trips, we work with people on the field as their friends, not as someone who is above them.
When we do evangelism, we approach them with the view of them being our friends, friendship evangelism, instead of giving them the gospel and then running away.
When Jesus says I am calling you friends, it means he doesn’t see us as objects, but as people. So we also ought to treat people, not as objects, but as people.
As I have been in this church, I am finding that I no longer call you members, or people that I am working for, but I am also developing friends here. That is so much richer of a relationship and connection.
And as I do evangelism with non-believers, I am treating them as friends, and not as objects. And that changes the relationship.
Jesus has changed the relationship we have with him so that we can call him our friend and he calls us his friends. Now we are tied together so much closer.
On my 20th Ministry Anniversary celebration last year, the Praise Team members sang a song to me. The title of the song is called, “That’s What Friends Are For.” Part of the words goes like this:
“Keep smilin’
Keep shinin’
Knowin’ you can always count on me
for sure
that’s what friends are for
In good times
And bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for”
Thank you, Praise Team, for your love for me. This song is true for me. This song is also true for Jesus’ relationship with us. "In good times and in bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more. That’s what friends are for." Know that Jesus is your friend.
