If there is anything I’ve learned in my years working as a pastor it is that things don’t always go the way we think they should go. I’ve been witness to more tragic stories than I wish – and the truth is, life is hard. God has chosen to use people just like us to be his ambassadors on this earth. And because of that we are often found in a place with our hopes and expectations not being met by the reality of our circumstances. This can happen when a loved one dies, or a relationship crumbles, or a friend abandons us, or our prayers are not answered. Sooner or later it happens to all of us.
In the face of this reality we all have a few choices as to how we will respond when we’re disappointed.
1. We can shake our fist at God and lose faith in Him, since he does not stop bad things from happening.
2. We can spout religious sounding clichés which mask our confusion and our pain.
3. We can simply quietly withdraw and slowly watch our faith diminish.
4. We can acknowledge the pain we’re in and yet keep on working for God’s Kingdom.
Obviously I hope you will take the 4th option.
It’s what I’m learning to do. I’d like to share with you four scriptures that help me know what to do when I’m feeling disappointed in people, circumstance, or even God. It is my hope that they will help you, too.
How can you deal with disappointments?
1. Focus on eternal things. (2 Cor. 4:16-18)
2Cor. 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
There is a tendency when things don’t go our way to feel like this crisis or this circumstance will never change – or that it is much bigger than it really is.
ILLUS: As a parent, my kids often get upset by things that I know in just a few moments will not matter anymore. They will forget about it completely and move on. They just can’t see that themselves – because they haven’t matured.
One of the things that happens as we mature in Christ is that when our prayers are not answered or God doesn’t stop some tragedy from unfolding, we are able to step back from the situation and realize it is a temporary situation. Everything we face in this mortal life is, as Paul describes it, “light and momentary” in the face of eternity.
This is not meant to invalidate the pain we feel in the moment – but it helps us when we realize God is still on His throne. That he has seen many millions of people through similar times of discouragement over the past thousands of years.
So when you’re disappointed, remember to step back and keep your focus on the eternal, unchanging things of God.
TRANS: 1 Peter 5 gives us some more help in what to do when we face disappointments. The first thing we learn comes from verse 7…
2. Cast your cares upon the Lord. (1 Peter 5:7)
1Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
When you receive bad news that brings on disappointment, you might feel a mixture of shock, sadness, disappointment, fear, maybe even anger or bitterness. Whatever you feel, I want to encourage you to cast it upon the Lord. (throw it at him like when you cast a fishing line)
At times when I’m mad at people or even mad at God you know what I do? I tell God about it. “God – why did this have to happen? This really stinks. How could you let it happen? I’m feeling really mad (or sad or disappointed or whatever).”
Don’t just pretend everything is OK. Don’t settle for using Christian clichés (unless they are really helpful to you). Don’t act as if you’re not bothered if you really are.
God is big enough to take it. And he wants to hear the cries of our hearts. The honest cries of our hearts.
Eccl 3:1-4 says:
Eccl. 3:1-4 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…
Whatever “time” it is for you – cast it upon the Lord, for he cares for you. Don’t keep it bottled up.
TRANS: Peter then continues in the very next verse telling us more of what we need to do when we’re disappointed…
3. Be self-controlled and resist the devil. (1 Peter 5:8-10)
1Pet. 5:8-9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
Last week when I was with the congregation in Coupeville telling them that Pastor Terry has resigned unexpectedly, I told them “The devil is prowling around this congregation. He is looking for someone to devour, and one of the ways he will do it is by breaking up the unity of this congregation. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself suddenly more annoyed with someone or something about this church. Watch out for times when you may be tempted to spout off or to use words or actions which will hurt someone else in this congregation. Now is the time to exercise retraint and self-control.”
Don’t kid yourselves. The devil has it in for this congregation as well. And he wants to use the disappointments that come in life to separate you from other Christians, and from God. So stay alert! “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”
I love what Peter has to say next, though! IF you will cast all your cares upon the Lord, and stay alert and resist the devil, this is what is promised next…
1Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
You won’t always feel afraid, or weak, or disappointed, or angry. In time, God himself will restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
Lastly, I want to encourage you to do one more thing that scripture instructs when we’re disappointed…
4. Offer a sacrifice of praise. (Heb. 13:15)
Hebrews 13:15 Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise — the fruit of lips that confess his name.
A sacrifice, by definition, is something that costs you something. And when we’re told to “continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise” – it means that praising God won’t always be “easy” or something we immediately want to do. It will cost us. Maybe our pride, or our energy, or our time. But especially when we’re feeling disappointed, praising God costs us – and we do it because we choose to do it.
But what is truly amazing is what can happen in your heart and in your mind – in your whole outlook – when you are feeling disappointed and you still choose to praise God. I’ve experienced it so many times. I can be tired – stressed out – angry – sad – but if I start worshiping God, and involving my body, my mind, my strength – then the Holy Spirit so often comes and fills my lame efforts at worship and makes them powerful.
Maybe you’ve been dealing with disappointment over something in your life. Maybe there are wounds from disappointments in the past that just haven’t got healed yet. Regardless of where you might be on the “disappointment scale” I want to give you a chance to practice what I’ve been talking about.
I’m going to sing a song first of all that I doubt any of you will know. We’ll put the words up so you can read along, and by the end hopefully you’ll be able to sing the chorus with us. It’s a song that was written by Don Moen for a friend whose child died tragically of disease. But really it’s a song for anyone who is feeling disappointed to help them start offering a sacrifice of praise.
E. Put this into practice through worship and prayer time.
1. “I Will Sing” - C
2. “Presence” - E
4. Prayers interspersed between and after these songs
Offering talk, then
EVERLASTING GOD (A)
