Colossians Series # 4
Jesus the One and Only
Revealed in Our Relationships
Colossians 3:15 – 4:6
Scripture Reading: Colossians 3:18-4:1
INTRODUCTION:
Have you ever thought about the concept that God is --- by His very nature --- a RELATIONSHIP. God presents himself to us as a Unity of Three – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. When Jesus was here on earth, he said that he did nothing apart from his Father. His very existence was defined by His relationship with God the Father.
When we think of it that way, it should not surprise us to know that God created us for RELATIONSHIPS. God cares about our relationship with Him and with each other. In fact, we can see Jesus Christ through the way we RELATE to each other. In Colossians chapter 3, the Apostle Paul gives us some very practical advice about our most basic human relationships: Husband to Wife; Parent to Child; and Boss to Employee.
The TEXT that _____________ read today sounds familiar to most of us. We think it’s just common sense that Husbands should love their wives; and Fathers should not be harsh to their children; and Employers should pay a fair wage. But these instructions were REVOLUTIONARY in Paul’s day.
The Roman Culture of the 1st century was like every other culture in that day. It held the view represented on the screen. By Roman law a man with a wife, children, and slaves had the power of life and death over them. He could do anything he wanted --- they had no legal recourse. Wives, Children, and Slaves had all the Obligation - Husbands, Fathers, or Masters held all the Power. That’s the way the WORLD’S ETHICS worked back then --- and it’s still the way the WORLD ETHIC system works today.
Jesus introduced an entirely new ethic. The Christian Ethic can be called the Ethic of RECIPROCAL OBLIGATION. Notice the difference as pictured on the screen. Instead of exerting Power Over the other person, the one in authority is responsible to LIFT the other person up. This is SERVANT LEADERSHIP. Let’s take some time to see how the Christian Ethic works.
In Colossians 3:18-19 Paul focuses on the relationship between a Husband and Wife.
1. Husbands and Wives
It’s not going to shock any of you to hear that the Institution of Marriage is in trouble. It’s disturbing to see how Culture has changed just during my lifetime. I read an article recently that said the number of single-parent households doubled from 1960 to the year 2000. A recent Gallup poll reported that 60% of Americans find nothing wrong with premarital sex, and 52% say living together is a good idea. A full 1/3 of babies in the year 2000 were born to unmarried women. (Leadership Magazine, Fall 2001, p. 9)
Every Study I’ve heard of shows that the disintegration of marriage is weakening our culture in all kinds of ways. Unfortunately, Marriages in the Church are not much stronger than Marriages outside the Church. But, I’ll tell you one thing. That is NOT because God’s plan for marriage is faulty. Our problems come because we don’t KNOW God’s plan for marriage. Or because we know God’s plan, but we don’t FOLLOW it.
These 2 short verses in Colossians could solve most of the marriage problems in America today: Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19
Notice the RECIPROCAL OBLIGATION in this instruction. The key word for Wives is Submission, and the Key word for Husbands is Love.
In the World Ethic, submission is demanded. But the Greek word that Paul used here is in the middle voice --- which means it is a VOLUNTARY submission. It literally means to “arrange under rank.” It refers to Chain of Command … as when someone volunteers for Military Duty and places himself or herself under Military Authority.
Biblical submission has nothing to do with inferiority or subservience. It is simply God’s plan for the organization of Family --- and He should know what is --- or is not --- going to work. After all, God invented the whole concept of Family in the first place! Any organization needs a chain of command in order to run smoothly --- and, according to Scripture, a marriage works best when the wife submits to the husband and the husband loves his wife.
The Greek word used to describe the husband’s love for his wife is a form of the word "agape" --- which is self-sacrificing love. In marriage, Leadership does NOT mean Dictatorship. Now, men, you know as well as I do that we don’t always get it the first time we hear it. I can imagine Paul thinking – “I’ve already told these men to love their wives, but maybe that’s too subtle. These guys may not get the point.” So Paul goes on to say straight-out, In other words, guys: do not be harsh with your wives!
The “agape” kind of Love that Paul is talking about will never be rough or demanding. It is a love that wants to give and protect and provide. And this kind of love is much stronger than romantic or affectionate love. Agape love is a decision of the will.
If you ever hear someone say, “I don’t love you any more…” you will know they don’t have the kind of love that God requires of a Husband. Agape love is not the kind of love you “fall into” --- and it is not the kind of love you can “fall out of.” Husbands, God tells you to love your wife with enduring, sacrificing, never-give-up kind of love. If you love that way, your wife will have no trouble holding up her part of the bargain. Very few people would mind submitting to a loving, self-sacrificing leader.
Notice the motivation that Paul gives. He says this is fitting in the Lord. Jesus is our example of both Submission and Agape Love. And there is no way any of us can build His kind of Marriage Relationship without His help. We don’t have it in us. We need to rely on the Holy Spirit to live out Jesus’ kind of submission and love in our Homes.
When a couple builds that kind of Marriage, the World will take notice --- because it is so rare! That is how the world can see Jesus in our Homes.
(Ask congregation to pray about the Church of the City plan to cooperate with other churches in offering Marriage Classes to our community.)
Next, Paul moves on to the relationship between Children and Parents.
2. Children and Parents
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
The Greek word used here for "obey" is hypakouete. This is more than an ACT of obedience. It is an ATTITUDE of obedience. The word indicates habitual and voluntary action.
And again, the motivation is not just to please the parents; it is to please the LORD. The problem comes when a young person decides “I only need to respect my parents if they prove they DESERVE my respect.” Once they catch an inconsistency in the parent they decide they are free to disobey if they want to. Not so, says the Book!
My wife, Susan, is a Counselor in a Middle School. She deals with a lot of families where the parents are far from perfect. But she has found that even seriously messed up parents usually want something better for their child. Even an alcoholic will usually tell their child not to drink or do drugs. A parent who dropped out of school will tell their child to stay in school. A parent who is in prison will tell their child not to make the choices that put them in jail. The point is, even children of flawed parents will be better off if they obey their mom or dad. Children need to obey their parents because this is the PLAN God put in place for their own protection.
It is possible for Children at a very young age to learn to think about what would please the Lord. --- Which reminds me of something I heard about my 3-year old granddaughter recently. (Have I mentioned lately that I have 4 brilliant grandchildren?) Morgan’s parents were trying to convince her she could get to sleep without her pacifier. Morgan made several arguments about why she DID need the pacifier. Then she came up with the winning argument when she declared, “JESUS had a paci.”
Of course, her parents burst out laughing. But she looked at them very seriously and said, “When Jesus was a BABY he had a paci!” So you, see, even at 3 years old, Morgan has already learned to think, “What would Jesus do.” Obviously, Jesus would have his paci!
I suspect she’s also learned that one way to win an argument with her parents is to find a way to bring Jesus into it. But that really IS the point. As parents, we need to bring Jesus into our Homes every day in every way.
Paul zeros in on Dad here when he says, Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
A read recently about a study that a psychologist named Dr. Henry H. Goddard conducted on energy levels in children. He used an instrument he called the "ergograph." (How he ever got some children to stand still long enough to connect them to the machine is a mystery. But he did, and his findings are fascinating.)
He found that when tired children are given a word of praise or encouragement, the ergograph shows an immediate upward surge of new energy. When the children are criticized and discouraged, the ergograph shows their physical energy take a sudden nose-dive. Those results could be probably be duplicated in adults. When we are praised our energy levels go up. When we are criticized our energy levels go down.( Holwick’s Illustrations. http://ledgewood.1stbaptist. org/ill- link.html# Holwick Win95.)
Now, in principle, we all KNOW it is vitally important that we ENCOURAGE our children. But I’m always amazed at how easily we parents can get off track. Parenting is not an easy job! (I’ve been there, and I’ve made my share of mistakes.) So I’m going to share with you a list I came up with of Seven steps guaranteed to embitter your Children:
1. Discipline your child only when you lose your temper. Let him get away with everything, then without warning, let ‘em have it! Blow your top! Scream and Yell! Let ‘er Rip! Go Crazy! That’s the way to let your child know “who’s REALLY in control around here.”
2. Give your child everything she wants right away. Don’t make her earn it! Gadgets and Toys and Video Games and Designer Clothes and Cars and good old Cash --- all of these make a GREAT substitute for your love and attention. And don’t worry; it won’t take long for your child to prefer the STUFF you provide over spending time with you.
3. As often as possible, compare your child to someone else --- a brother or sister is usually the best choice. Statements like, “Why can’t you be like Johnny” are sure to spur your child on to success!
4. Don’t let your child suffer the natural consequences of his actions. If your child gets in ANY sort of trouble, jump right in and make lots of excuses for him. Argue with his teachers; blame his friends; leave the church; sue the school --- but don’t let anyone hold your child accountable. … If you don’t come to the rescue every time, your child might develop respect for authority … and where will THAT get him in life?
5. Don’t waste time LISTENING to your child. Jump down her throat as soon as she opens her mouth. After all, you already know everything she’s going to say, right? Besides that, if you’re understanding and reasonable, she might start wanting to talk things over with you … and that would NEVER do!
6. Treat your child with constant suspicion. Expect the worst. Classic comments like “Can’t you do ANYTHING right?” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” can save your child from aiming too high in life.
7. If your child does anything wrong, NEVER let them forget it! Keep rubbing it in. Keep it on file to pull out at opportune moments. If you’re good at this, you can develop a long list and have it ready to pull out every chance you get.
I remember an occasion way back when I was a Youth Minister. I met the dad of one of the boys, and right away the dad started complaining about the boy right there in front of him. Dad got going on a LONG story about some trouble the boy had gotten into five years earlier. When dad left the room to answer the phone, his boy muttered under his breath, “He makes me sick!” I didn’t say anything, but I remember thinking, “He makes me sick, too!”
There is nothing more beautiful than a proper relationship between children and their parents. Once again, that bond is only possible in the LORD. He alone can give us the ability to build the kind of RELATIONSHIP in our Home that will reveal Jesus Christ to the watching World.
Paul addresses a third kind of Relationship that is very common in the world. He talks about slaves and masters. In our culture we tend to use words like boss and employee.
3. Bosses and Employees
Look in Colossians 3:22-23 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men
I remember a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip where the Boss catches Calvin sitting at his desk staring out the window. The Boss demands, “Why aren’t you working Calvin?” And Calvin responds: “Because I didn’t see you coming.” Well, Calvin obviously didn’t think that one through … but at least he was honest.
That may be the typical attitude of most employees. But as a representative of Jesus Christ, it should not be your attitude or mine! Christians should be known as the most dependable, honest, hard-working employees a person could ask for. I’m glad to say that it’s been my experience that most Christians DO have this kind of work ethic.
Most of Paul’s readers back in the First Century probably thought he would stop there, but Paul went on to address the Bosses. Look at Colossians 4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
Once again, Paul is describing the revolutionary CHRISTIAN ETHIC The Employee is to work hard; and the Boss is to give Fair Provision. The Employee works as for the Lord. The Boss treats his employees fairly because the BIG boss is watching!
(Talk about “Good to Great” principles.)
CONCLUSION:
God cares about our RELATIONSHIPS. Whether it’s in Marriage and Family or in our Careers, Jesus wants to Reveal Himself to the world through the way we RELATE to one another.
The Christians Ethic really IS a radical one. And not one of us can carry it off on our own.
• It is only In Jesus that we can be submissive, obedient, and diligent in our work.
• It is only In Jesus that we can be Loving Encouragers and show true Servant Leadership.
The whole point of Colossians chapter 3 is that in EVERYTHING we do, we should do it IN Him, THROUGH Him, WITH Him, and FOR Him. That’s how Jesus can REVEAL himself to the world through us.
