Relationships Are Everything
Accountability
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
In 1995, the oldest bank in England announced it was seeking bankruptcy. It lost nearly one billion dollars in a stock gamble. At the time it went under, it held over $100 million in assets for Queen Elizabeth. It all started a year earlier when their chief trader at their Singapore office started betting some very big money on Japan’s stock market. He made a lot of money for the company, but then an earthquake hit Kobe, Japan, and in January 1995, the stock market took a severe nose dive. Thinking it was a temporary loss, the trader started doubling up on his gambling hoping to make very large sums when the market rebounded. Instead of the bank cutting its losses, it just kept pouring money into the Singapore exchange, and their employee would just use it to bet more on the market. They sent nearly $900 million dollars to this man, and he in turn, lost it all.
How could one twenty-eight-year-old employee in Singapore lose nearly a billion dollars and ruin the oldest and most influential bank in England? It all boiled down to a lack of supervision and a lack of accountability. For those who are actively engaged in stock market trading for companies, they are never allowed to keep their own books. They are never allowed to run freely without some sort of double check system in place. However, this was the exception. This employee was allowed to invest and keep his own books without anyone looking over his shoulder. It’s like putting a stick of dynamite in one hand of a child and a match in the other – there is going to be a severe explosion sooner or later.
Accountability is nothing new to us. We are accountable to all types of people. At work, most of us are accountable to our boss or to our business partners. At school, you are accountable to the teacher or principal. At home, you are accountable to your spouse or your parents. On the highway, you are accountable to the police officers who watch your speed. In the government, one branch is accountable to the other branches. We have accountability all around us in our everyday lives – except in church circles it seems. When it comes to our personal relationship with Jesus Christ and our Christian walk, we forget that we need to be held accountable for our actions. We think that our actions are no one else’s business but our own. We get scared that others will judge or condemn us if we let them know certain things. We begin to think that we are only accountable to ourselves, and that becomes dangerous. After all, how do you think all of the church scandals start? It is almost always because of a lack of accountability.
I want you to know this morning that you will be held accountable for your spiritual walk someday. This will be made plain as we search our passage of Scripture this morning. Turn with me to Matthew 12:33-37 to see what Jesus had to say about accountability.
“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.
It seems clear that we will all have to give an account to God, and we will be held accountable even for the words we say here. Thus, we must make sure that we bear good fruit. How do we develop and make sure the fruit we produce is good and not bad? We must develop three important relationships that will help us stay the course and stand unashamed before God on that day of judgment. Before we look at these vital relationships, let’s look to the Lord in prayer.
Relationship #1: Find a Mentor.
I have to admit that when I hear the word mentor, I don’t get an accurate picture in my mind. When I hear this term, I automatically get a picture or Jedi Master Yoda in Star Wars saying, “Use the force, you must.” Now, this may be a silly example, but it has some good points. After all, Yoda passes on extreme wisdom to his pupils. Yoda lives in a way to be emulated by his pupils. Yoda looks out for the good of all his students.
Now, to get this Stars Wars example out of your head, I want to give you a bit of history about mentors. The first example of this word occurs in Greek mythology. Mentor was the son of Alcumus and, in his old age, he became a friend of Odysseus. When Odysseus left for the Trojan War, he placed Mentor in charge of the development of his son, Telemachus, and of his palace. Wikipedia defines a mentor as a trusted friend, counselor or teacher, usually a more experienced person. Basically, mentoring is training up someone who is beneath us.
This is not a new practice. Mentors have been around for a long time. Back in Bible times and beyond, tradesmen, artists, and craftsmen have engaged in mentoring for centuries by passing on their skills to apprentices. Michelangelo, one of the greatest painters of all time, contributed all of his success to his teacher Bertoldo who took the young artist under his wing. Almost every great person in history had a mentor. Alexander the Great had Aristotle, actor Heath Ledger sat under Mel Gibson, and Lance Armstrong, 7 time Tour de France winner, learned under 5 time winner Eddy Merckx. So, if the world embraces mentoring the younger generation, why are we not using it in the church?
The Bible is full of examples of great men who had a mentor. Joshua had Moses. The disciples had Jesus. Timothy had Paul. I could go on. Even Jesus sought out mentors as a young man. In Luke chapter 2, we are told of the boy Jesus at the age of twelve. His parents were in Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. After the festivities, Mary and Joseph headed back home, but they realized Jesus was not with them. Where was he? Verse 46 tells us. “After three days, they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.” Later in the chapter, we are told that “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” Jesus knew some things at age twelve that some of us have not learned yet. One of these things is that everyone needs to continue to seek greater knowledge and wisdom. Jesus knew that all people, even the Son of God, need to be around people who can give them Godly counsel and wisdom. He remembered the words of Solomon in Proverbs 13:20 which states, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”
After we see the need to get a mentor, we need to know what to look for. First of all, a mentor should be a teacher. William a. Ward once said, “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” We need to find someone who will explain and demonstrate the way for us to go, and they inspire us to get to the next step in our spiritual journey. Secondly, we must make sure that our mentors have spiritual commitment. They are not playing games. They are not just Sunday Christians. They are people who model the lifestyle of Jesus Christ on an everyday basis. They are not perfect, but they strive to give their best to God. Finally, you need a mentor who is honest and open. They are willing to spend time with you to share their strengths and weaknesses. They share their triumphs and their mistakes. They share their joy and their pain. And, they do this out of a love for you to help you along the straight and narrow. Paul has to be the best example of this. All you have to do is read his Epistles to Timothy and to the leaders of several churches until you notice a pattern. He seems to say this. “Do as I have told you. Do as I have shown you. Here is what I’ve gone through. Even though times have been tough, I have stayed the course.” That is the type of mentor that we need.
Relationship #2: Find an Accountability Partner.
I once heard a story with a familiar theme. There once was a person who didn’t want to go to church. He told his mother this, and she told him that he had to go. “But mom, they don’t like me there.” His mother said, “There are a lot of people who like you, now, you have to go.” “But mom, it’s too hot in church.” His mother replied, “We’ll sit by a window, now, you have to go.” “But mom, I’m too tired. I watched the late show last night.” His mother replied, “It’s only for an hour and after that I’ll let you sleep all afternoon.” “But mom…”, and this time she did not let him finish. She said, “Son, you have to go. You’re the minister!”
Now, this minister knew what he was supposed to do, but he needed that little extra nudge to do the right thing. This nudge came from his mother holding him accountable. Everyone needs this type of relationship with another person. I like to call it having an accountability partner.
Just like mentoring this is nothing new. Paul had an accountability partner whom we all know. It was Peter. In Galatians 2, Paul tells us of a time when Peter was ignoring the Gentiles he used to eat with. This action caused some of the other Jews to do the same thing. Now, when Paul hears about this, he does the right thing even though it is not easy. Verse 11 tells us, “When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong.” Another example of this occurs in the book of 2 Samuel. We all know the wrong that David did with Bathsheba, but there was only one person who called David on it. Nathan went straight to David to call him on his sin.
Now, why did these two people confront others on these issues? It was because they sought to hold these brothers accountable for their actions. They were serving as their accountability partners. They did not do this to embarrass their brothers – they did it out of love. And, sometimes, speaking the truth in love hurts. Now, I am not telling you to go out and point out all of the faults of your peers. That is not what I am getting at. The point is that both of these examples were of people who had close ties. They respected each other. They had bonded together enough to know that they could trust each other. They had moved beyond their own pride and fear in their relationships to know that the other was only looking out for their best interests.
As you search for an accountability partner, you need to search out someone with similar interest that is at a similar stage in their Christian walk. You need to spend time with this person building up trust, honesty, and openness. This should be a person who loves you but is not impressed by you. It should be someone who will ask you the hard questions and make sure you are doing the things you should. You, in turn, should do the same for them. Through this relationship, you will be able to sharpen each other as told in Proverbs 27:17. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” This person is one who challenges you to live a holy life and someone who you would give your life for. It is one of those friends that are closer than a brother. It is a person who you are comfortable with sharing your sins, weaknesses, and shortcomings with because you know they will speak to you out of love and truth concerning them. This scares most people to death, but we must move to this level if we are to have true accountability partners.
Relationship #3: Be a Mentor.
In today’s schools, there seem to be more and more students who are difficult to deal with. One of the approaches being used to combat this is assigning a mentor to work with these students one on one. One such school district is using retired individuals as these mentors to elementary and middle school students. Here are some results from this endeavor.
• 88% of these students have increased self-confidence
• 78% of these students became more responsible
• 75% of these students dramatically improved their self-control
• 73% of these students worked better with others
• 68% of these students improved their grades by one whole letter grade
These are just a sampling of the results they have found through this experience. I could read to you a whole page of results that they have found through this mentoring partners. It turns out that young people need this type of relationship because they do not always have it at home, and when they get it, the results are very positive.
D.L. Moody once said that, “It is better to train ten people than to do the work of ten people – but it is harder.” I think he is right. We must make an effort to train the people around us. It is going to be hard work, but it must be done for the future of our church and society. At my previous church, people loved to talk about the old days in the church. They talked about how good things used to be, and they loved to talk about the saints that had gone before them. Why did they do this? It was because these Godly individuals had dedicated their lives to pour into the lives of the next generation. They spent time with younger men and woman and showed them the way to go. They left a legacy behind them because they had done the hard work of training others on the way to go. We don’t do this very often anymore.
Can I be brutally honest with you for a few moments? Do you want to know why churches have so many bloody battles over what kinds of songs to sing in church? I believe it is because of a lack of mentoring. Let me explain. The older and younger generations do not normally hang around together. After all, there is a huge difference between those who are 50 and those who are teenagers. It is a different world, and so naturally, we focus on our differences. Because of this, there is a relationship gap between the young and the old. And where there is no relationship, there is a lack of respect, a lack of love, and a lack of honor. If you do not have a relationship with someone, you are less likely to think about their feelings, wants, needs, and desires. And, because of this, we stick with those who are similar in age as we are, and thus, we only look out for our own interests. In a church with a strong mentoring program, it is different. The old and young make the effort to come together to teach and be taught, and they start to develop a bond. As this bond becomes stronger, you are more likely to see things through the other person’s eyes. The younger generation sees the importance of hymns to the older generation and the older generation begins to understand the importance of choruses to the young. When this type of relationship is missing, then we will not understand each other.
Martin Luther once said that, “A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing.” Paul took this to heart. He had a lot of things going on. He had churches springing up all over the world that he had started. And, he had not been a Christian for very long. Even though it would have been easy to keep focused on himself and his work, he poured his life into a long protégé. We know that Paul wrote to Timothy at least two letters to instruct and encourage this young man, but he did more than this. He took Timothy by his side. Philippians 2:22 Paul tells us the following. “But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” Paul describes this young man as a son – the closest bond there could be. They had grown so close together, that they developed a familial connection. And, we know that a father looks out for the best for the son, and the son in turn tries to please the father. We need more relationships like this in the church.
I wish I could find the words to tell you how important these three relationships are to every believer. I guess the best way to do that would be to share with you my own experiences. I am where I am today because of these types of relationships. In college, I had two men who mentored me on a weekly basis. One was a college professor and the other was a pastor. They helped me grow more in one year than I had in 10 years before that in my Christian walk. During that same time, I developed an accountability group with three other guys. We asked each other the hard questions and spurred each other on to a closer relationship with the Lord. Three of the four of us are now in fulltime ministry positions. Just two short years after being mentored and getting these accountability partners, I began to mentor other college students by becoming the assistant campus minister and leading a small group study on evangelism and accountability. A number of these young people have gone on to ministry positions as well, and now they are mentors to others. Even now, I have a mentoring pastor that I meet with regularly, three more pastors to keep me accountable, and I am working with a few others to raise them up – And I am always looking for more. This morning, won’t you make the commitment to find a mentor, an accountability partner, and a young person to show the way to. It will cause your spiritual life to flourish beyond belief. Let’s pray.
