How Do I Love You?
Mal. 1
How do you know somebody loves you? How do you show somebody you love them?
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a bestselling book several years ago entitled The Five Love Languages in which he suggests people give and receive love in one of 5 different ways:
1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service 5. Physical Touch
Dr. Chapman goes on to say that because we don’t speak the same language of love, it is possible to love somebody in a way that doesn’t communicate our love to them.
Ma and Pa had been married for 30 years when Pa came home one night to find Ma in the kitchen crying. “What in tarnation is wrong with you, Ma?” Through her tears Ma blurted out, “Pa, why don’t you ever tell me you love me?” Pa replied, “Ma when we were married I told you that I loved you, and if I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know."
Sounds like Ma and Pa speak different love languages.
How do you know somebody loves you? How do you show somebody you love them? Those are some very important questions in our relationship with our spouse, with our children, with our family, and even with God. It is important for you and I to be on the right track about how we know God loves us, and how we show our love for Him.
This is the theme of Malachi 1: God’s love for His people, and their love (or lack of love) for Him. The words of the prophet challenge us to ask: how does God love me, and how do I show my love for Him? For answers, let’s begin with Mal. 1:1-2.
How do I love you? Malachi says
I. I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF DOUBTS. (v. 1-2a)
Letter from a young man to his girlfriend who lived across town before the age of the automobile: Honey, I would climb the highest mountain for you. I would swim the deepest river just to be where you are. I would fight alligators, lions, and tigers to be by your side. I would walk through fire for the privilege of gazing into your eyes. And I’ll surely come see your Saturday night---if it doesn’t rain!”
This young man’s words don’t quite match his actions. His girlfriend might doubt the sincerity of his words, and maybe even the sincerity of his love.
Have you ever had your doubts when somebody says I love you? People can say those words without really meaning them, can’t they? Have you had doubts about God’s love for you? Malachi tells us the people of Israel have some doubts about God’s love, which is OK, because God has some doubts about their love, too. These doubts surface in a Q & A session in the first part of vs. 2.
“I have loved you”, says the Lord. The emphasis is on God’s faithful love for His unfaithful people. Many times throughout the OT prophets, God proclaims His love for His people.
Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.
Malachi and Jeremiah are trying to impress an important truth to us: God’s love for you never changes. His love is faithful, constant, never-ending. It is not based on your performance, but on His perfection. God cannot love you more; He will not love you less.
But there is another subtle implication in this verse: “I have loved you”, says the Lord. But you have not loved Me. This lack of love shows up in Israel’s response: in what way have You loved us? Do you hear the hint of accusation in these words? Why would they question God’s love for them?
One reason could be what they’ve been through, as a nation and as individuals. Yes, they had heard and read of all God had done in the past---how He chose Abraham, rescued Israeli slaves from Egypt through Moses, built a magnificent kingdom through David. But recent history has not been so glorious. The merciless Assyrians slaughtered the people in the northern kingdom of Israel, leaving nothing but heaps of dead bodies and mounds of burning rubble. The powerful Babylonians invaded the southern kingdom of Judah and what they didn’t destroy or kill they took with them into exile. The Israelites were a people without a homeland for 70 years, with no Temple in which to worship, no cities or towns to call their own. Even now rebuilding seemed like an almost impossible dream. Lord, we’re tired and we’re hungry and life is very hard right now. Our enemies enjoy prosperity and victory, while we wait so very long for You to fulfill Your promises. Do You still care about us? Do you really love us?”
Have you ever been there? You pray and pray, but day after day, no answer. You’ve got more questions than answers, more problems than solutions. Loneliness hounds you like a hungry wolf, stalking, waiting to take you down. You pray “lead me not into temptation” and yet still you keep falling. Everything is going wrong and then you pick up your Bible and you read---you come to church and hear the preacher tell you—God loves you. And somewhere in the back of your mind you’re asking, “Is that really true? Lord, do you really care about me? God do you really love me?”
The answer is still, “Yes.” God will not always answer your questions, He will not always do what you ask.. But for now, for tomorrow, and forever, He loves you. Through the words of Malachi, He calls you to hold on to the fact of His love, even when you cannot feel His love. Whatever else you doubt, don’t ever doubt His love, because it is real and it is everlasting. God says to you and I tonight: I have loved you, I do love you, I will always love you.
In 1995, Christopher Reeve, the "Superman" actor, fell from a horse in a riding accident that severed his spinal cord and paralyzed him from the shoulders down. In the days which followed both he and his mother considered pulling the plug on his life support system.
He later wrote about how he battled back from the accident, Reeve said he first shared his thoughts with his wife, Dana. "I mouthed my first lucid words to her: ’Maybe we should let me go,’ " he recalled. But his wife, through tears, persuaded him to fight back, saying, "I want you to know that I will be with you for the long haul, no matter what. You’re still you, and I love you."
As long as God is God, and you are you, He loves you. But God goes on to say through Malachi, “I have demonstrated My love for you, and I want to teach you how you demonstrate your love for Me.” Malachi gives a second answer to the question, “How do I love you?” by saying
II. I LOVE YOU THROUGH MY CHOICES (v. 2b-14)
Joni Eareckson Tada writes: Always, love is a choice. You come up against scores of opportunities every day to love or not to love. You encounter hundreds of small chances to please your friends, delight your Lord and encourage your family. That’s why love and obedience are intimately linked--you can’t have one without the other.
Love is more than words-love is a choice. God says He loves me—I say I love God. But how do we show love to one another? Malachi says love shows up in the choices we make.
a. God shows His love for us by His choices. (v. 2b-5) …Jacob I have loved, but Esau I
have hated…That’s pretty strong language, isn’t it? Does God hate some people and love others? What does this verse mean?
The words loved and hated here are not talking abut God’s emotions, but God’s sovereign choice of Jacob over Esau in His covenant with Abraham. Many times the Bible uses the idea of love/hate to as hyperbole to express a choice. Jesus uses the same idea in
Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.
Obviously Jesus is not commanding children to literally hate their parents or family, or even their own lives. What He is saying is that if it comes down to a choice, He must have our ultimate allegiance.
In the same way, God is saying I have chosen Jacob as heir to My covenant, and not Esau. This was very unusual, because usually the older son inherited everything from his father. God chose Jacob to remind us that He is in charge of choosing the people He wishes to use for His glory. He choose to show His love to Jacob and His descendants in this way by His grace.
On the other hand, Esau rebelled against his parents and against God. His descendants became enemies of Israel, and so became enemies of God. The description of Esau’s destruction in vs. 3-4 is meant to remind Israel God loves His people enough to defeat their enemies completely.
Vs. 5 demonstrates God’s love, not just for His people, but beyond Israel’s borders. I show My love for My people by choosing them, by being on their side against their enemies. God shows His love for His people by His choices. On the other hand, God’s people show their lack of love for Him by their choices.
b. We show our love for God by our choices (v. 6-14) The most important way we show our
love for God is through our reverence for Him, which translates into our honor and obedience. This is why God uses the symbolism of a Father and Master in vs. 6. Both a father and master deserve respect and obedience from their child or their servants, so God also expects His children and servants to show Him respect and obedience. But Malachi writes Israel Him with contempt and disobedience in two ways:
You offer God what is worthless. The Law of Moses was very specific about the animals offered as sacrifices to God. They were to be the best—not sick animals, or the half-dead ones. The quality of the sacrifice reflected the reverence of the worshipper toward God. The principle was simple: You give God your best because He is worthy of our best.
But they disobediently offer God what was worthless. The blind…the lame and sick… (v. 6) the stolen (v. 13) …the blemished (v.14)--- animals they wouldn’t dare send as tribute to the Persian government. Giving this kind of offering to God was an insult to Him. What they were essentially saying is Lord, You are really not worth much to us. But it wasn’t just the sacrifices that demonstrated their lack of love for the Lord, it was also their attitude:
Your worship is heartless and hypocritical. Vs. 13-14 : You also say, ‘Oh, what a weariness!’ And you sneer at it,” Says the LORD of hosts… “But cursed be the deceiver Who has in his flock a male, And takes a vow, But sacrifices to the Lord what is blemished…
These people are just going through the motions of worship. To them it’s all just one big boring ritual. They kill their animals, recite their prayers, sing their songs without any heart or love for the One they claim to worship. They even think they are pulling the wool over His eyes by pretending to offer Him their best, while in reality offering Him whatever they want to get rid of. Their attitude towards God is not love, but apathy.
Hate is not the opposite of love—apathy is.—Rollo May
These people demonstrate that they do not love God by their choice not to show Him the reverence (honor and obedience) He deserves. You love through your choices.
God loves us through His choice to save us through faith in Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 1:3-6 3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love,
5having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
Do FWB’s believe in predestination? Certainly, because the Bible teaches the doctrine very clearly. What we believe is that before the world was ever created, God determined that whoever trusts Christ as Lord and Savior are His people. That’s what the Bible means when it says we are chosen in Him. God is always previous. If He had not chosen to offer us salvation, we could never have been saved. Out of His love, He chose to send His Son to be our Savior, and to change our lives forever. He shows His love for us by His choices.
On the other hand, we show our love for Him by our choices—choices which include the same choices the Israelites made in Malachi’s day. If you want to truly understand how much you love God, ask yourself 2 questions: what do you offer Him and how do you worship Him?
What do you offer Him Does God deserve your best? Does God have your highest allegiance, above all others? Do you give God the best of your time, your abilities, your wealth? Or do you give God the leftovers, the worthless things you really don’t want anyway? God deserves our best, and we show our love for Him when we give Him our best.
How do you worship Him? Does your worship come from a heart of love, or just habit? When you pray are you really speaking to Him, or just muttering meaningless phrases? When you come to church, do you focus your mind and heart on Christ, or are you more occupied with your own feelings and thoughts and plans?
God has already demonstrated His love for you. Now it’s our turn to show our love for Him by our reverence—by honoring Him and obeying Him in everything.
“Can anything make me stop loving you?” God asks. “Watch me speak your language, sleep on your earth, and feel your hurts. Behold the maker of sight and sound as he sneezes, coughs, and blows his nose. You wonder if I understand how you feel? Look into the dancing eyes of the kid in Nazareth; that’s God walking to school. Ponder the toddler at Mary’s table; that’s God spilling his milk. You wonder how long my love will last? Find your answer on a splintered cross, on a craggy hill. That’s me you see up there, your maker, your God, nail-stabbed and bleeding. Covered in spit and sin-soaked. That’s your sin I’m feeling. That’s your death I’m dying. That’s your resurrection I’m living. That’s how much I love you.”- In the Grip of Grace
God has already answered the question, “How do I love you?” Now you and I have to answer the same question about our love for Him. Will we reverence Him? Will we honor and obey Him---give Him our best, worship Him from a heart of love? That is the true measure of our love for the Lord.
