Overcoming Loneliness Series

OVERCOMING LONELINESS

Real Life Relationships

April 20-21, 2002

Frank Piña

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him." Genesis 2:18 (NCV)

If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. Eccles. 4:10 (NLT)

We All Need Partners In Life! –

While Stranded on an Island his only companion is a volleyball called Wilson.

Film Clip From Cast Away – Tom Hanks argues with Wilson

Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity." Luke 6:38 (Msg)

Defining A Healthy Personality

The second is this: ’Love your neighbor as yourself.’

There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31 (NIV)

1. Your Personality is healthy to degree to which you deliberately look for the Good in each person and each situation.

I look for the Good in people and situations:

All the Time….Most of the Time….Usually….Rarely….Almost Never….Never

2. Your Personality is healthy to the degree to which you can freely Forgive people who have hurt you in some way.

I Forgive People Who Have Hurt Me:

All the Time….Most of the Time….Usually….Rarely….Almost Never….Never

3. Your Personality is healthy to the degree to which you can get along easily with many Different kinds of people.

I Get Along Well With Different Kinds of People in Different Situations:

All the Time….Most of the Time….Usually….Rarely….Almost Never….Never

Two Most Important Decisions in Your Life:

1. Will you give your life to Jesus Christ?

2. Will you get married, and then, who will it be? Not only do single people need this, but parents need to guide their kids.

To no one’s surprise, marriage is in deep trouble in our society. Consider these five statistics:

1) Of all first marriages, only 25% both endure and are happy.

2) In over half of all marriages, at least one person has been married before, and in about 15% of all marriages, at least one person has been married three or more times.

3) Twenty percent of all first marriages fail within five years of the wedding date. Thirty-three percent fail within ten years. And forty-three percent fail within fifteen years.

4) Seventy percent of all persons in our society have been impacted by divorce - either the divorce of their parents or their own.

5) While a majority of persons choose their marriage partners on the basis of appearance and chemistry, the fact is that seventy-five to eighty percent of all chemistry evaporates within six to eight months unless the relationship is significantly under girded by deeper and more durable compatibility.

Most of us were not taught how to choose a mate.

The First thing you need to do is Eliminate Elimi-Date

Myth #1 – God chooses your mate. God tells you what kind of person to choose. And who you shouldn’t choose. But it’s your choice.

Myth #2 – There is one person who is chosen for you. (Your Soul-Mate) The Domino Effect. One person makes the wrong choice and everything is a mess.

1. You Must Have Spiritual Compatibility

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 2 Cor. 6:14 (NLT)

If you don’t have spiritual oneness, you will never have the emotional intimacy, the relational closeness, or the sexual intimacy that God intends for you.

How can you grow toward a close relationship with Christ if your partner is going the other way.

Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. [25] And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT)

Missionary dating – Aisle, Alter, Hymn

After seeing so many marriages fall because of spiritual incompatibility it’s not worth it!

One out of every two and half marriages fail.

Marriages that have husband & wife praying together, attending church together one out of 1,105 get a divorce.

2. You Must Have Life Purpose Compatibility

Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? Amos 3:3 (NLT)

So, my dear Christian friends, companions in following this call to the heights, take a good hard look at Jesus. He’s the centerpiece of everything we believe…Hebrews 3:1 (Msg)

3. You Should Have Personal Compatibility

What is their: Family Background, Level of Ambition, Education, Communication Skills, Expected Roles, Children, Step-Children, Conflict Resolution Skills, etc.

Eharmony.com

To Have Real Compatibility

1. A Willingness To Adapt – Heb 12:14

2. Emotional Maturity – Rom 8:5 Grow up

3. Effort – Rom 14:19