No Halfway Measures

Good morning. This is Ashbazar with the Persian Broadcasting System, bringing you a morning edition of the Newshour, with a breaking story live from Babylon. We have been told to stand by for a story of national importance direct from the king’s palace. As soon as they are ready, we will go direct to our on-the scene correspondent, Rashi Haruman, who has been waiting in the outer court since just after dawn.

But first, a backgrounder. As most of our listeners know, King Nebuchadnezzar - may he live forever - has not made a public appearance for seven years. Palace spokesmen have given out a number of conflicting stories over that time, but none of them has satisfied the public’s very real concern over the state of the empire. The most recent official version is that his Majesty has been on a religious retreat. While seven years does seem to be stretching credulity a bit, the idea of an extended royal pilgrimage to the empire’s most holy sites would make sense - were it not for the fact that none of those sites have reported any unusual activity.

The rumor that has the most widespread currency among the general population is that the King has contracted leprosy or another disfiguring disease. Early rumors of assassination have been discredited by the fact that the same officials - including the controversial Judean advisors - have remained in their posts without interruption ever since the king’s unexplained disappearance from the national political and social scene, and the royal princes have been uncharacteristically silent on the delicate subject of the succession.

Something is coming through from Babylon - Haruman, over to you.

Thank you, Ashbazar. The guards are opening the great doors and a single figure is coming through them into the outer courtyard, where I and other reporters have been waiting since early this morning when we were told to be ready for an announcement of major national significance. We are being held back from getting a closer look at this solitary figure by what seems like half a regiment of the palace guard. From what I can see, it is a middle-aged man of not very distinguished appearance, dressed in a simple linen robe belted and bordered in blue and gold. On his head he is wearing what appears to be - but it can’t be! Ashbazar, I believe that this is the King himself! Never before has he spoken directly to the media - this is a truly historic moment! He seems to be arguing with a group of men who followed him out of the gates - Ashbazar, you will not believe this, but one of them actually touched the King! He was immediately removed by the guards, of course - but what could he have been thinking of? It looks as though it might have been Zemadigo, but our view is still partially blocked by the cordon of guards. Hold for just one moment, it looks like one of - yes, it’s the Judean Belteshazzar, whose Hebrew name is Daniel, is coming forward. ... (pause) ... Ashbazar, PBS has just received the most signal honor of our history. We have been chosen to interview the king. We will get back to you as soon as the security arrangements are in place. ... (Pause) ...

This is PBS correspondent Rashi Haruman, bringing you an historic interview with King Nebuchadnezzar himself, who is breaking a lifetime habit of maintaining his distance from the media to mark his recent return to the political limelight. Your Majesty, as we discussed while your assistants were setting up, I’ll simply turn the microphone over to you and let you speak directly to the people. When you are finished, with your permission I’ll ask a few additional questions on any point that might be unclear to our viewers. Go ahead, Excellency, the stage is yours.

My fellow Babylonians - and Elamites, and Parthians and Arameans and all my subject peoples, but especially the Judeans... I come before you tonight to give the empire an explanation of my absence, and an announcement of changes to be made in this kingdom now that I have returned.

But first, let me take you back to where I was seven years ago, on the eve of my disappearance. Babylon was the only superpower left in the world. Assyria had been defeated, and still lies amid the chaos and rubble of her once mighty cities. Egypt, too, had collapsed under the weight of her inefficient and corrupt government. None of our subject peoples had risen up against us since we made an example of the Judeans some twenty-five years before. Our empire was enjoying - and still is - the longest period of peace and prosperity in its history. Our public buildings, our civic institutions, our international trading network were all second to none. And as I looked around, all I could see was greatness.