Mothers Are Extra Special - With Humor

For those not familiar with an Anglican Service; there are four Scripture Readings before the Sermon. The Scripture Readings for this day were: Acts 10: 44-48; Psalm 98; 1 John 5: 1-6 and John 15:9-17.

We have come together this morning for two primary reasons.

First and Foremost is to honor the Lord Jesus Christ ....with our worship.

The other, is to honor our mothers,...our grandmothers and the mothers of our children.

These are lifetime tasks, ..... neither of which can be confined to .... a one hour worship service.

Telephone companies tell us that Mothers Day is by far their busiest day of the year.

It is a day for greetings .... A day of expressions of love.

It is also a day for remembering.

I do not believe that anything has ever been said ..... or ever will be said .... that is eloquent enough, or expressive enough .... to articulate the true value of a mother...

One mother said, "The joy of motherhood ..... is what a woman experiences (Slow) when all the children are finally in bed.

A mother talking to an old college friend said, "Remember, before I was married ....... I had 3 theories about raising children?

Well, now I have 3 children ...... and no theories."

A mother has the fascinating ability to be almost everywhere at once ....and she alone .....can somehow squeeze and enormous amount of living ..... into a 24 hour day. (Long Pause)

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.

He picked it up, ..... rubbed it - and out popped a genie. The genie said:

"Listen.... Four People have released me from the lamp this month ..... and I am getting a little sick of these wishes, so you can forget about three.

You only get one wish."

The man thought about it for a while and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I am afraid to fly .... and I get very sea sick.

Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to vacation?"

The genie laughed and said,....."That is impossible. Think of the logistics of that feat!

How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific ocean? You need to think of another wish."

The man thought about it and said, "I have been dating for years and the women I date always say that I don�t care and that I am insensitive.

So, I wish that I could fully understand women .. to know exactly how they feel and know exactly what they are thinking."

The genie paused then said, "You want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4 lanes?" (Long Pause)

A mother has the angelic voice of a member in the celestial choir as she sings the Brahm's lullaby to a babe .... held lovingly in her arms.

Yet this same voice can dwarf the sound of an amplifier when she calls the children in for supper, or cheers them on at a game. (Pause)

A Television show that I watched when I was a child called Captain Penny would always end the show with these words:

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool mom." (Pause)

And A mom can be tough ... tough as nails ... when she needs to be.

A drill sergeant was frustrated in his efforts to make a soldier out of a certain recruit.

The trainee lagged behind on marches.

He used any excuse to go on sick call,.... grumbled constantly about the food, ....and never made his bunk properly.

But one day, a noticeable change took place in the young mans attitude.

When asked to what he attributed the soldiers change in attitude, the drill sergeant explained,

"Threats and punishment did not work, ....so I had to resort to the ultimate weapon: I called his mother!" (Pause)

A mother is considered "old fashioned" to her teenager; just "Mom" to her third-grader; and simple "Mama" to the little two-year old.

But there is hardly a thrill in life that can compete with ....pointing to that wonderful woman ..... and be able to say ....to all the world, (Pause )

"That is my mother!... That is my mom!"

As all women know..... the quickest way for a mother to get the attention of her children is to attempt to ..... sit down and look comfortable. (Pause)

Dr. James Dobson shared a story about a time when he came home when his son, Ryan, was a small baby.

It had been a terrible day for his Shirley... his wife. Ryan had been sick and had cried all day long.

Once, as she was changing his diapers, .... the telephone rang and Shirley reached over to answer it before fastening up his diapers.