Me? Forgive You? Ha!

“Me? Forgive You? Hah!”

Matthew 6:9-13

David P. Nolte

It is a dangerous prayer to pray. If the Lord would answer it in the form we ask, we’d be in a bad way. Ironically Jesus taught us this kind of prayer. He did not intend it to become a mantra, but a model: He said to “pray in this manner,” and He taught them what we call The Lord’s Prayer. Let us stand and pray that prayer together

“Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.” Matthew 6:9-13 (KJV). And Amen.

That’s a “Dangerous prayer?” Yes, because we are asking God to be as forgiving to us as we are to others. Yet some still say to offenders, “Me? Forgive you? Hah! I’d swallow a live toad before I’d forgive you!”

But we need to be more forgiving. Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

Then He told a parable about a king who forgave a slave whose debt was $1,000,000. But that slave went out and found a fellow slave who owed him $50.00 and demanded, “Pay back what you owe.” And when the debtor could not pay he was put in prison. When the king heard about it, he said to the first slave, “You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?” And he had him imprisoned.

Have you ever felt angry or hurt or betrayed? Have you ever pouted and shouted and spouted “I can’t forgive! I won’t!”? If so, you don’t want to pray, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors!” because if you forgive others, God will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then He will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 (NASB).

What is this? Forgiveness on an exchange basis? “I’ll forgive you for two so God has to forgive me for two?” Not even close!

But the hardness of heart that won’t let grace out to others is the same hardness of heart that shuts out God’s grace to us. The unforgiving are unforgiven.

One problem is, we have a distorted concept of forgiveness.

• We may think it is rolling over on our backs in meek surrender to further abuse.

• We may think it is just giving the offender license to offend again!

• We may think it is a weak and wimpy response! NOT! Forgiveness is strength under control!

Let me share some thoughts about real forgiveness.

I. FORGIVENESS DOES NOT REQUIRE FORGETTING:

A. Maybe you think that since you have not forgotten the offense, you have not forgiven. “Forgiving is forgetting!” so they say. But:

1. We are not God and able to erase something from our consciousness at will.

2. How are you supposed to forget when every day you feel the pain or see the scars or suffer the consequences of what they did to you?

3. How are you going to forget a crime perpetrated against, or harm done to, a loved one?

4. How can you forget if the offender lives with you or works with you and you are constantly reminded of the offense when they are present? In a blog Alan Smith wrote: “Doctor: ‘I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention:? What's your excuse?”

Patient: “I was just following your orders, Doc.”

Doctor: “Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order.”

Patient: “You told me to avoid people who irritate me.”

Alan Smith continues, “Unfortunately, we don't always have the option of avoiding people who irritate, people who hurt us, people who offend us. In fact, sometimes those who irritate us the most are found right in our home (or in our church building). That makes forgetting really hard.”

B. If there is forgetting involved in forgiveness, I would say it is a disciplined and deliberate commitment to stop mulling it over and hitting the replay button and ruminating on the event.

1. Every time you replay the hurt in the DVD of your mind, you live it again; you suffer again; you open a wound again.