Martha Syndrome Series

#3 – some people are simply hardwired with expectation that everything must go perfectly – The food must look good and taste great. Every strand of lights must glow and sparkle. This takes immense energy out of a person. Rather than laugh it off they equate the foible others are laughing about as personal failure.

The pendulum swinging with all it’s might – we hit full tilt. We have compassion fatigue – also known as Martha Syndrome.

There Martha is hosting a special dinner party for very special guests – Jesus and the disciples. Now cooking for 13 hungry guests + her own family is no easy feat. And talk about expectations – This is the Lord Jesus in her home– everything has to be perfect – the furniture wiped off – the dirt floor swept clean and the food prep just right. It seems her motives are in fact pure but her care and compassion tanks are beginning to drain. The pendulum is on the move.

She begins to resent that she alone seems to be pulling all the weight and responsibility. It’s made all the worse when she spots her sister Mary on the floor at Jesus’ feet. She rattles a few extra dishes and sighs a bit to get Mary’s attention without success. She bites her tongue so as not to call Mary out – Now the pendulum is swinging wildly back and forth – until full tilt is reached.

She loses it. Jesus, I’m doing all this work – I cleaned the house before your arrival. Now I am readying a fabulous meal, but my own sister is doing nothing to help. Tell her to help me. It’s simply too much. I’m at full tilt – I’m done Jesus. Fix this. What does Jesus do? Let’s begin with what Jesus doesn’t do.

Jesus doesn’t stop the movement of the sun to add minutes to her hours. Jesus doesn’t call out Food, be done, or Dishes be cleaned and its so. Nor does Jesus even call upon Mary to step in and help. Instead, Jesus responds with two answers. The first– Mary who you complained about has chosen better. Wow. How sobering is that? A New Testament – Cain and Abel moment but this time sisters instead of brothers. How is it Mary chose better when Martha was prepping food and Mary seemed to be doing nothing? Jesus doesn’t clarify

But the most interesting part of the story to me is not just Jesus’ words, but the lack of a conclusion. What happened next? Did the sisters break out in a fight as we have seen sisters do? Then soon everyone takes sides and so much for family unity. Did Martha run away in tears ashamed? Did Martha release her high expectations and join Mary on the ground at Jesus feet?

But then we have Jesus’ second statement – Mary has chosen what is better – and it will not be taken away from her. What is the it in IT will not be taken away from her. Why such a vague answer? Few commentators agree.

Joel Green’s conclusion - Mary is fixated on the guest Jesus and his word. That’s why hers is the better choice.

John Martin’s conclusion addresses their hearts - Mary’s priorities are on what is of heaven. Martha’s focus is on earthly things

Howard Marshall’s conclusion - Kingdom Service is a great thing but must not fill people’s lives to the extent they have no time to learn from Jesus.