Martha's Lament

She was frustrated, disappointed and angry. And she wasn’t holding it back.

Her brother had been sick, and as his condition continued to deteriorate, Martha and her sister Mary had sent a message to their friend Jesus. In a situation, which seemed to have no hope, Jesus provided hope.

They had seen Jesus do the seemingly impossible. They had seen the lame walk, the blind see, and the mute speak. He had healed Jews, Gentiles and Samaritans. And in most of the cases, they were strangers, people he had never met, and didn’t have a relationship with.

Was it too much for them to ask, that he heal his friend? Someone he had shared meals and a roof with.

The story begins in John 11:1–3 A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

And they waited and waited and waited and Jesus didn’t show up, and Lazarus got sicker and sicker. Surely if he couldn’t get there, he could simply speak the word and Lazarus would be healed. They had heard the story of how Jesus had healed the servant of the Roman Centurion, without ever seeing the man. He simply spoke the healing into being. And he was one of their oppressors, the enemy of Israel.

And Lazarus, got sicker, and then Lazarus died. And then, when it was too late, four days after her brother had been buried, Jesus shows up. But, by then it was too late.

She was frustrated, disappointed and angry. And she wasn’t holding it back. And maybe you’ve felt that way too — when God seemed absent, when you prayed and waited and waited, and heaven stayed silent.

And then, when she heard that Jesus was there, she stormed out of the house and we pick up the story in John 11:21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. . .”

And Martha does what many of us long to do in the midst of grief, even if don’t actually do it, she names it. She doesn’t pretend. She doesn’t spiritualize. She laments.

Wikipedia defines Lament as: “A passionate expression of grief, often in music, poetry, or song form.”

Sometimes I feel that in our culture as a whole, and often times in our Christian communities, we do not allow enough room for lament.

Our funerals have become celebrations of life, services of remembrance and memorial services and too much display of grief, seems almost, unbecoming. And even if we don’t speak it, when someone’s grief is more than the norm, we feel that they will either embarrass themselves or embarrass others.

The first funeral I conducted at Cornerstone was for the adult daughter of a gentleman who attended our church. She had chosen to end her own life, and before the service began they had an open casket for viewing. And as the funeral director went to close the casket one of her teenage daughters threw herself onto the casket, wailing and crying. And nobody knew what to do. For many, it seemed a little unbecoming.

We remind people that their loved one is in a better place, whether that’s a reality of not, and we extend platitudes such as “their suffering is over” or “it’s for the best.” Whether that is a reality or not.

But what about when the heartbreak or disappointment is too much. What happens when the only song we can sing, is in a minor key? And frankly, most people don’t like singing in a minor key.

I like minor key songs. Hurt by Johnny Cash, Hotel California, House of the Rising Sun and A Horse with No Name were all written in a minor key.

But most of our worship songs are played in a major key, because it’s brighter and happier. And while I enjoy dark ballads, when it comes to worship music, I for one, prefer happy clappy.

Funny story, back in 2002 we had a family start attending Cornerstone, or Bedford Community Church as it was known back then, who had just moved from Santa Claira California.

The dad was a gifted musician who had played on the worship team of his church in the states, and he joined our worship team. Probably one of the most popular worship songs back then was “In Christ Alone” by Keith Getty / Stuart Townend. And it is a great triumphant song sung in a major key. Mike brought with him a new version played and sung in a minor key. I loved it but most people hated it.