Marriage Part 1 – Leave, Cleave & Love Series

Marriage Part 1 – Leave, Cleave & Love

Scripture: Genesis 2:18, 24; Ephesians 5:25-28

“The best way to make a marriage last is to put it first.” Franklin Jones

Good morning Strangers Rest. This morning, I am starting a series of messages on the topic of marriage. In this series I will be referring to the biblical definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman and I will be discussing marriage as defined by God’s word versus society. Every Christian couple has two choices as to how they will operate in their marriage – their marriage can be based on God’s word or on how society defines marriage. For example, God’s word does not say that the man has to be the bread winner. Likewise, God’s word does not say that the woman’s role is to stay home barefoot and pregnant as they used to say. Both of these roles are “guidelines” that society has placed on marriage which can conflict with what God’s word actually says. So, in this series I will be discussing God’s view of marriage. Also, for the couples present, you will notice on the back of the handout two questions that you can discuss at home with your spouse. The goal of those questions is to provide you an opportunity to have an open and honest discussion with your spouse about the current state of your marriage once you are ready to have that discussion.

Before I go further I want to provide some background on my marriage experience. I am not a certified marriage counselor, but I have been married for forty-two years. I have been in the ministry for forty-four years and during this time I have performed the marriage ceremony for many couples. And, because I perform Christian marriages, I am obligated to God to ensure the couple is ready to live out the vows they are making to one another with God’s blessings. For this reason, I do premarital counseling to determine if the couple is ready and fully understand what they are committing to. I have on occasion, after conducting the pre-marital counseling, refused to perform the marriage because I those marriages would not succeed because they were not ready. Understand, not every union has been pre-ordained by God but if you belong to God He will honor your choice so you need to choose wisely if you’re not praying beforehand about it. Lastly, in my forty-four years of ministry I have performed marriage counseling sessions with couples and often identified similar “issues” at the core of their problems. Some of these will be touched on in this series.

Having said all of that let me be clear: although I have all this experience and am responsible for delivering this series, everything that I will tell you applies to my marriage as well. Regardless of the years I have been married and have counseled others, I too have areas where I am still improving upon. So, as I speak what the Spirit has given to me for you, I will be speaking from personal experience and as someone who is going through the same issues that all married couples face. For those of you who are single, the words that I will share are still applicable for you because there will come a time when you will either desire to be married or if you are past that point in your life, you will have the opportunity to provide counsel and guidance to the person who sees you as a confidant. Therefore, I hope you will also be able to gleam some insights that will equip you for the days ahead.

In this first message, I will be speaking to the men. The foundational Scriptures for this message come from Genesis 2:18, 24 and Ephesians 5:25-28. I will be reading both Scriptures from the Amplified Bible. Genesis 2:18 & 24 says, “(18) Now the LORD God said, ‘It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him – a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.’…. (24) For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined (cleave) to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:25-28 says, “(25) Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (26) so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], (27) so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. (28) Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.”