Make Your Home A Refuge Series

Someone once said that having routines are kind of like striping a parking lot. Imagine a parking lot where there were no stripes. If you’ve got a hundred cars and people are parking everywhere it’s hard to pack them all in. However, if you stripe that parking lot and every car finds a place it’s so much easier and more efficient. When every duty has a set time and there are healthy routines, everybody flourishes.

E - Eyes and Ears Are Open – The devil never quits! He is constantly trying to get into our homes. We have to consistently monitor the television, computers, music and friendships. I’m telling you, parents always have to keep their eyes and ears open. There should be a rule of no closed doors during the day for more than about 5 minutes at a time. Always ask questions of your children, “What do you have on your iPod? What are you looking at?” Every computer, or iPod, or iPhone are open to a parent’s eyes. Nobody has the right to absolute privacy, other than for modesty reasons of course. One alert dad said to me, “I can tell when my son is into something he should not be. I can just look him in the eye and I know.”

I think maybe guardian angels reveal things. I know, for a fact, the Holy Spirit tells me things about my children. For example, if your son or daughter is normally a cheerful person and they start getting quiet and reserved; something is not right and you need to check that out. If they are normally well kept, but now there is a decline in appearance parents need to ask, “Is everything okay?” Parents must constantly be keeping eyes and ears open. Why? Because we want to provide a refuge of godliness for them. Somebody needs to do it, and someday they’re going to say thank you for being aware and for caring.

F - Fellowship – If our homes are to be refuges, moms and dads need to be at peace with each other. Because they are human, every husband and wife will occasionally have disagreements. There must not be constant contention, however. Children pick up on it almost immediately as if they have radar. Lynette and I very seldom had issues between us, but one time we had this “talk” and I think I raised my voice. Anna and Elizabeth, who were probably eight and ten years old at the time, started crying and thought we were going to get a divorce right there and then…those poor little devastated girls!

I am amazed however at the number of Christian homes where there is constant friction. The kids may be sitting there quietly on the outside observing, but their hearts are being torn up…it is like someone is stabbing that precious little heart. Children and youth deserve something better than a mom and dad fighting all the time. So, mom and dad, you have got to find a way to have peace. Bury that hatchet (not in each other’s back)! Whatever it takes to have peace you simply have to do it. You may have to call in late for work or stay up late, but get the matter settled. Somehow get peace in Christ.