Loving Your Spouse Series

PURSUING THE LOVE OF GOD Part 6

Topic: LOVING YOUR SPOUSE

I. Introduction

John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

In this lesson I want us to talk about some of the practicalities of loving our mate. Marriage is the most intimate relationship God has established for mankind, aside from our relationship with Him. It is the primary relationship that has been given to us to work out the practicalities of learning to love as Christ has loved

Marriage is sacred. In the Old Testament, the prophets use it to describe God’s relationship with his people Israel: “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord” (Hos. 2:19). God reveals his love to all people in a special way in the unique bond between husband and wife.

The Bible has much to say about love and marriage.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it... Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In the New Testament, marriage is used as a symbol for the unity of Christ with his church. In the Gospel of John, Jesus is compared to a bridegroom, and in Revelation we read that “the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready” (Rev. 19: 7–9). It is not without significance that Jesus changed water into wine at a wedding; clearly, he had great joy in marriage. Yet it is equally clear that to Jesus, marriage is a holy matter. He takes it so seriously that he speaks with uncompromising sharpness against even the slightest step toward its destruction: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matt. 19:6–9).

II. To Love As Christ Loved.

• To love as Christ loved must be the foundation on which our love for one another is based.

• All other expressions of love will not endure the pressures of two persons coming together to form one flesh.

• A true of love of intimacy between two individuals can only come as a result of Christ's love being poured into their lives.

1. The Process of Growing in Christ's Love.

In God’s order of marriage there are at least three different levels of experience. The first, most wonderful level is unity of spirit: the oneness of heart and soul in God. In this oneness we can have community not only with our spouse but with all believing persons.

The second level is unity of emotion: the current of love from one heart toward another that is so strong that a person can, so to speak, hear the heartbeat of another. The third level is physical unity: the expression of oneness found when two bodies are fused in perfect union.

Too many couples today are content with the third level alone, or perhaps the second. A marriage based only on the physical and emotional is doomed to disappointment. Even though waves of emotional or physical attraction are natural, they can leave deep wounds if they are not placed under Christ. This is not an instant or overnight achievement. This is a process.

THE PROCESS

• We must realize that growing in Christ's love is a process.

• Most of us were not drawn to our mate through the love of Christ. We were drawn to one another through our own natural and carnal desires.

• We were first drawn together through and affectionate or phileo type love.

• Agape love had very little to do with our initial attraction towards one another.

• The initial burst of phileo love or even eros love blinds us to all of the imperfections and differences that exist in each of us.

• They are invisible because of our overwhelming emotions of infatuation and affection for each other.

• During this stage it is easy for you to be kind and loving towards one another.

• The husband is not being rude and obnoxious.

• He's being kind, gentle and caring, still putting his best foot forward. He even brings home flowers and candy on occasion without being prodded to.

• The wife is taking care of herself to make sure she is always presentable and looking her best.

• She's still trying to impress him with her cooking and homemaking skills, etc.

• You both find it easy to forgive and overlook each other’s faults and differences.

• You're not self-seeking, you are still trying to please one another.