Loving Those You'd Rather Hate Series

I have something on my mind that may have contributed to a breakdown in our harmony here. I’d like to ask your forgiveness for the “communion confusion” last Sunday. I don’t want to be a pastor who is too prideful to admit mistakes. I take full responsibility for how we passed out the elements and the resulting confusion that it caused. I’m saddened by the fact that my inattention to detail may have caused many of you to lose your focus during this special time. I’m grateful to our elders for bringing this up to me and want you to know that with God’s help, it won’t happen again.

3. Resist repaying a wrong. The first part of verse 17 is a warning against what comes naturally to most of us: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” The idea here is that we’re not to pay back a wrong that’s been done to us. That reminds me of the story about Jack and his little sister. Jack’s mother ran into his bedroom when she heard him screaming and found his two-year-old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl’s grip as she comforted Jack by saying, “There, there. She didn’t mean it. She doesn’t know that hurts.” Mom was barely out of the room when the little girl started screaming. Rushing back into the bedroom she asked Jack what happened. “She knows now,” Jack explained.

Is there someone you’d like to pay back today? Do you want someone to hurt like you hurt? Here’s the deal: Don’t retaliate when you’ve been wronged. 1 Peter 3:9: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called.” 1 Thessalonians 5:15 adds, “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” Bruce Goettsche offers some reasons why we should resist repaying a wrong (www.unionchurch.com).

* It causes conflict to escalate. Proverbs 30:33: “For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”

* Retaliation is usually excessive. When we do pay back, it’s often with interest!

* Retaliation always ruins our witness.

Friends, you can’t always stop people from hating you, but you don’t have to hate them back. You can’t always make people love you, but you can always love them back. I’ve been reading the book “Love Dare” that was written in response to the movie “Fireproof.” I was really challenged by the reading on Day 25 called, “Love Forgives” and I’d like read part of it to you (pages 122-123): “Imagine you find yourself in a prison-like setting. As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you’re standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there – people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life. You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or a sister or some other family member. Even your spouse is locked in nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making.

This prison, you see, is a room in your own heart. This dark, drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate. No. You don’t want any part of it. These people have hurt you too badly. They knew what they were doing and yet they did it anyway…so you resist and turn away. You’re unwilling to stay in here any longer – seeing Jesus, seeing the key in his hand, knowing what He’s asking you to do. It’s just too much. But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You’re trapped inside with all the other captives. Your unforgiveness, anger and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well. Like the servant in Jesus’ story, who was forgiven an impossible debt, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness.