Love And Joy In Christ's Friendship

May 5, 2024

Rev. Mary Erickson

Hope Lutheran Church

John 15:9-17

Love and Joy in Christ’s Friendship

Friends, may grace and peace be yours in abundance in the knowledge of God and Christ Jesus our Lord.

“I do not call you servants any longer, but I have called you friends.” Jesus framed his relationship to his disciples in terms of friendship.

What is a friend? A young boy described a friend in this way: “Someone who knows all about you and likes you just the same.” There’s something secure in friendship. We feel safe around our friends. When we’re with a true friend, we don’t have to measure up or fulfill certain expectations. They accept us just as we are.

The English novelist and poet George Eliot summed up the value of friendships when she wrote this:

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but to pour them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

How many friends do you need? A recent study asked that question, and adults responded that they need between three to five close friends.

Sadly, the United States appears to be suffering from a loneliness epidemic right now. Covid-19 exacerbated it, as does our addiction to our phones. Loneliness is on the rise. It’s especially critical in the mental health of our elderly and our young people.

How good it is to have a friend! Friendship has always been a cherished commodity. This is what Jesus gives to his disciples and to us.

Surely, they felt his friendship! They called him many things. We frequently hear them refer to Jesus as Teacher or Rabbi. When asked who he thinks Jesus is, Peter confesses that he is the Messiah, the king of Israel. They also refer to him as lord or master.

All of these other descriptors connote a much more defined hierarchy of power. The teacher is above the student; the master is above the servant, the king is way above the subject! When Thomas sees the risen Jesus he says, “My Lord and my God!” That’s as great a power differential as you can get!

And certainly, we look to Jesus as all these things: our teacher, our Messiah, our Lord and God. But into the mix, he also comes to us as friend. There’s a mutuality there. Our relationship with Jesus is framed by the ease of friendship, its approachability and security.

Most of our relationships are shaped by power differentials. We might be friendly with our boss, but there’s a line that separates boss from employee. Parents hold authority over their children. And to your parent, you are always the child! I’ll never forget the time my family was visiting my maternal grandparents. I was late elementary school age. And during the visit, my mother, who held authority over me, snapped to attention in a way I’d never seen. My grandmother, her mother, had used a certain tone with her. It was a mom tone. She’d given my mother a directive. And in that instant, my mom became the child! Grandma still had it!

The vast majority of our relationships involve an up-down power structure. But friendship is one of peers. There’s a freedom in friendship.

Jesus describes further what his friendship is like. Firstly, he says, “You didn’t choose me; I chose you.”

We just witnessed the NFL draft. Round after round, college players were chosen by the professional teams. Those nervous NFL hopefuls sit at home, surrounded by family. There are the golden players that are taken in the first round. Round after round progresses and with each round, the remaining candidates wonder if they’ll make the cut or not.

It's the same thing we all experienced as children at school recess when choosing sides for a game. One by one, the team captains choose players for their team. They choose their best friends first, then the players with talent. This goes on until everyone is on a team. There was nothing worse than being the last player chosen.

But friends, with Jesus, you’re not a last round pick. None of us are. When Jesus chooses us, each and every one of us is supremely valued.

One of the images I most appreciate about an infant baptism is that, when our baptism occurs, we don’t choose it. As infants, we have no idea what’s going on! But in that event, God adopts us as God’s child. We are chosen. We don’t choose God; God chooses us. This selection has nothing to do with our track record because we haven’t accomplished anything. And we don’t have to pass a test in theology, either. Before we even know anything about God, the hand of the divine reaches out and declares, “You are mine!”