Living As God's Holy, Consecrated People (Exodus 22:16-30) Series

Our passage this morning, Exodus 22:16-30, covers a lot of ground. God has really clear expectations for his people in lots of areas of life. And this passage, covers lots of those areas. So this isn't going to be the kind of sermon that's neat and tidy. But I think what we will read, will prove helpful to us in lots of different ways.

Let's start by reading Exodus 22:16-17:

(16) and when a man allures (Hosea 2:16)/coaxes/deceives (1 Kings 22:21; Jeremiah 20:7) a virgin

who hasn't been bethrothed,

and he lies with her, he shall surely/in fact pay the marriage price for him for a wife.

(17) If her father surely/in fact refuses to give her to him, silver/money he shall weigh out equivalent to the bride-price of the virgin.

There's a lot about the mechanics of marriage that we don't know for sure in ancient Israel. When everyone knows how a man and woman come together, and what exactly it looks like for a man to leave his parents, and be joined to a woman, there's not much sense explaining it.

We know that marriages were usually arranged for daughters. We know that the parents had a lot of say in who the groom would be. We can assume that the daughter herself had some input into this (Genesis 24:8; 24:58). But we don't know everything, and it's like putting together a puzzle that's missing pieces (Genesis 24; 34).

But here's some of what we know. The most desirable of all women, for marriage, were virgins (Genesis 24:16).

We can guess about why that is: (1) They have less emotional baggage; (2) they've never given their hearts and bodies to another man; (3) they are godly, and pure, and probably more likely to be faithful to their husbands.

If you're a man, it's not necessarily the case that you won't marry a non-virgin. But that would be plan B.

Now, the law here views things from the father's perspective. Every good daughter is valuable to her dad. In ancient Israel, children are viewed as a financial blessing, and not a burden. The daughter can help in the fields and in the home. She is part of his strength. When a dad loses his daughter in marriage to someone else, he loses a lot. And the bridal price compensates the dad for this loss. It's not that the dad "sells" his daughter. The English language just fails us here; we don't have a good way to talk about it. But the groom-to-be compensates the dad. And if the daughter is a virgin, the compensation goes up.

So that's how it's supposed to work. The virgin daughter saves herself for her husband-- who hopefully saves himself for her as well.

But sometimes a virgin doesn't wait. Sometimes a guy will come along, and "coax" her, or "allure" her, or "deceive" her, into giving her body to him. Maybe he tells her he loves her. Maybe he promises her, that he will absolutely marry her a month from now-- but in the meantime, they might as well enjoy each other.

If the virgin who isn't betrothed gives in, and gives herself to the guy, it's not adultery. It's not a sin that will lead to death. But it's a sin that causes loss to the dad, and possibly to the woman. As a woman, at least in ancient Israel, you are far less desirable after the fact. And if you got pregnant, and had a son, you are even less desirable. A lot of guys won't want to marry you, and complicate the way that inheritances work. You want the family land to stay in the family, and not end up with someone else's kid.

So what does this law do? The law doesn't tell us how God feels about fornication. It doesn't tell us that you can sleep with someone, without becoming one with them (contrast Philip Ryken's commentary on Exodus here). It doesn't tell us that women are bought and sold like cattle. There's a lot of ways we can misread these verses.

The law is designed to protect the dad economically. A guy can't coax a woman into a one night stand, and then leave her, without paying through the nose. If a guy does this, he has to pay the full bridal price. And even with that, the dad still has the choice of whether or not his daughter is allowed to marry the guy. If he's a loser, or a deadbeat, the dad can say "no." And the fact that he did what he did to the daughter, shows he's not the greatest future son-in-law ever. There's a right way to do things, and it's not that.

In the end, if we think about it, the law protects the woman. If she made a bad decision, and gave herself to a loser, she's set herself up to have a difficult life. Other guys might not want to marry her. She might have to settle for an even bigger loser, down the road. But she won't walk away from this with nothing. If nothing else, her dad has her bridal price, and she can continue to live under his roof.