Lies We Believe About Our Feelings Series

Lies We Believe about our Feelings

1. Introduction

a. We have been dealing with some of the lies we believe about our lives and how they affect the way we live. If you believe a lie in one area of your life, it will affect every other area of your life.

b. Last 2 weeks we looked at “lies we believe about marriage” and “about our children”

i. Hopefully we dispelled the lie that “marriage exists to make ME happy.”

ii. That one will ruin you and your marriage. It affects the way we see life, the way we see others and the way we see anything that interferes with our selfish pursuit of our own happiness (even at the expense of someone else’s happiness).

2. This week, we will be looking at the lies we believe about our feelings.

a. If you recall from some of our other teachings that man’s soul is composed of three interconnected parts: Our mind (thinker), Our will (chooser) and our emotions (our feeler).

b. Our mind and our emotions are “INFORMERS” to our will.

i. Our will is be informed by what we feel and think and make conclusions and decisions.

ii. Our emotions can be very powerful.

iii. That is where we get our first lie:

3. Lie #1: If I feel something it must be true.

a. The world tells us to “follow our hearts” but doesn’t tell us where it will lead us.

b. But Proverbs 28:26 "He that trusts in his own heart is a fool: but who walks wisely, he shall be delivered."

i. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that "The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

c. The world has told us that feelings aren’t either right or wrong, and when listening to someone, we shouldn’t argue with their “feelings” because to them, they are real.

d. While this provides an empathetic atmosphere, I believe that it can also reinforce Satan’s work. Consider how untrue these “feelings” must be.

i. If I feel unloved then I must be.

ii. If I’m feeling worthless, I must be worthless.

iii. If I feel God has deserted me, then what’s the use of praying.

iv. If I feel like life is hopeless then it must be.

e. The world teaches us that our feelings are the truth.

i. If you “feel” in love, then you should get married.

ii. If you “feel out of love” then you should divorce.

iii. What is missing in this equation is what the truth is.

1. Infatuation is a feeling, romance is a feeling, happiness is a feeling, sadness is a feeling.

2. But love isn’t a feeling it is a choice.

3. Our decisions must be based on the truth and not on fleeting feelings that change with the weather, our hormonal levels or our circumstances.

f. If we are to walk in freedom we must realize that our emotions are not always trustworthy.

i. We must be willing to REJECT any feelings that are not consistent with the truth.

ii. This, I believe is one of the applications of “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5)

iii. Consider the difference between truth and our feelings:

1. Truth is objective.

a. It never changes. It is consistent. It does not change with the weather or with our circumstances.

b. If God says He forgave us, then whether or not we feel forgiven doesn’t change the FACT that he has forgiven us!

c. Martin Luther is reputed to have been asked, “Do you feel forgiven?” he replied, “No, I don’t, but I place my faith in the unchanging truth that God has forgiven me in Christ and I stand upon it!”

2. Feelings are subjective.

a. They change with the weather. You can feel happy one minute and sad the next.

b. People with bi-polar disorder struggle with mood and emotion swings that go from one extreme to another.

c. While medication is vital for dealing with these emotions, more important is to make sure that you are taking your daily dose of God’s truth!

d. Feelings shouldn’t pull the train, they are the caboose, not the engine. Feelings always follow facts.

e. Which brings us to the next lie:

4. Lie #2: I can’t control my emotions.

a. While it is true that to some degree we can’t control what we feel (pain, loss, anger, etc), the truth is that you don’t need to let your feelings CONTROL you.

i. Take for example, a person of the opposite sex who is already married shows an interest in you.

1. Do you feel flattered? Do you then dwell on that feeling? Do you feed that feeling?

a. You DO have a choice of what to do with those feelings.