Lie: Dad's Don't Really Matter Series

Series: Lies Satan Tells

Lie: DAD’S DON’T REALLY MATTER

Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

(Victor Parachin, "The Fine Art of Good Fathering," Herald of Holiness, February 1995, pp. 32-33.)

According to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, a father’s involvement with a child increases the child’s IQ, the child’s motivation to learn, and the child’s self-confidence. In addition, children with involved dads are more likely to develop a sense of humor as well as an "inner excitement."

(Dr. George Rekers, in Homemade, vol. 11, no. 1)

A positive and continuous relationship to one’s father has been found to be associated with a good self-concept, higher self- esteem, higher self-confidence in personal and social interaction, higher moral maturity, reduced rates of unwed teen pregnancy, greater internal control and higher career aspirations. Fathers who are affectionate, nurturant and actively involved in child-rearing are more likely to have well- adjusted children.

(Keith Meyering, in Discipleship Journal, issue #49, p. 41.)

When the father is an active believer, there is about a seventy-five percent likelihood that the children will also become active believers. But if only the mother is a believer, this likelihood is dramatically reduced to fifteen percent.

Observations

1) The most direct charge in Scripture focused on the rearing of children is directed specifically toward fathers.

2) Fathers are ultimately responsible for the rearing of their children.

- Head of home

- Command is to them

3) Fathers will be held accountable for this responsibility.

4) A father’s actions today has a direct result on his children’s actions tomorrow.

“Provoke to wrath” parorgizoo; to rouse to wrath, to provoke, exasperate, anger

(Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, Electronic Database. t © 2000, 2003 by Biblesoft, Inc.)

My personal translation of “Any ye, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath...”

“Dad’s do not set into motion a series of actions that will result in your children facing the judgment of God”

I. DAD’S DO NOT SET INTO MOTION A SERIES OF ACTIONS THAT WILL RESULT IN YOUR CHILDREN FACING THE JUDGMENT OF GOD

A. We provoke our children to wrath/anger by...

1. Giving them material things rather than ourselves.

Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat, kept a diary. One day he entered: "Went fishing with my son today--a day wasted." His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: "Went fishing with my father--the most wonderful day of my life!" The father thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time. The only way to tell the difference between wasting and investing is to know one’s ultimate purpose in life and to judge accordingly. Silas Shotwell, in Sept, 1987 Homemade

2. Trying to be their friends rather than being their fathers

3. Disciplining them out of anger/selfishness rather than love

4. Living a life of hypocracy rather than integrity

5. Loving the world more than loving Jesus

II. INSTEAD DAD’S SET IN MOTION A SERIES OF ACTIONS THAT WILL RESULT IN YOUR CHILDREN RECEIVING THE BLESSINGS OF GOD.

A. Loving Our Children Enough to Cultivate Them

“Nurture” ektrefoo; 1. to nourish up to maturity Eph 5:29 2. to nurture, bring up: Eph 6:4

(Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, Electronic Database. © 2000, 2003 by Biblesoft, Inc.)

(Prov 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Ex: Abraham

(Gen 18:20) For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

B. Loving Our Children Enough to Confront Them

“Admonition” nouthesia from NT:3563(nous - mind) and a derivative of NT:5087; calling attention to, i.e. (by implication) mild rebuke or warning:

(Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.)

FATHER’S DAY: A TRIBUTE Today is Father’s Day. A day of cologne. A day of hugs, new neckties, long-distance phone calls, and Hallmark cards. Today is my first Father’s Day without a father. For thirty-one years I had one. I had one of the best. But now he’s gone. He’s buried under an oak tree in a west Texas cemetery. Even though he’s gone, his presence is very near--especially today. It seems strange that he isn’t here. I guess that’s because he was never gone. He was always close by. Always available. Always present. His words were nothing novel. His achievements, though admirable, were nothing extraordinary. But his presence was. Like a warm fireplace in a large house, he was a source of comfort. Like a sturdy porch swing or a big-branched elm in the backyard, he could always be found...and leaned upon. During the turbulent years of my adolescence, Dad was one part of my life that was predictable. Girl friends came and girl friends went, but Dad was there. Football season turned into baseball season and turned into football season again and Dad was always there. Summer vacation, Homecoming dates, algebra, first car, driveway basketball--they all had one thing in common: his presence. And because he was there life went smoothly. The car always ran, the bills got paid, and the lawn stayed mowed. Because he was there, the laughter was fresh and the future was secure. Because he was there my growing up was what God intended growing up to be; a storybook scamper through the magic and mystery of the world. Because he was there we kids never worried about things like income tax, savings accounts, monthly bills, or mortgages. Those were the things on Daddy’s desk. We have lots of family pictures without him. Not because he wasn’t there, but because he was always behind the camera. He made the decisions, broke up the fights, chuckled at Archie Bunker, read the paper every evening, and fixed breakfast on Sundays. He didn’t do anything unusual. He only did what dads are supposed to do--be there. He taught me how to shave and how to pray. He helped me memorize verses for Sunday school and taught me that wrong should be punished and that rightness has its own reward. He modeled the importance of getting up early and staying out of debt. His life expressed the elusive balance between ambition and self-acceptance. He comes to mind often. When I smell "Old Spice" aftershave, I think of him. When I see a bass boat I see his face. And occasionally, not too often, but occasionally when I hear a good joke, (the kind Red Skelton would tell), I hear him chuckle. He had a copyright chuckle that always came with a wide grin and arched eyebrows. Daddy never said a word to me about sex or told me his life story. But I knew that if I ever wanted to know, he would tell me. All I had to do was ask. And I knew if I ever needed him, he’d be there. Like a warm fireplace. Maybe that’s why this Father’s Day is a bit chilly. The fire has gone out. The winds of age swallowed the late splendid flame, leaving only golden embers. But there is a strange thing about those embers...stir them a bit and a flame will dance. It will dance only briefly, but it will dance. And it will knock just enough chill out of the air to remind me that he is still...in a special way...very present. Max Lucado