Job Came To My Church

Yes, he did. What a strange man! First, he looked sick with boils all over which he kept itching. Everyone kept a safe distance from him, then one by one they started fleeing. I knew , I would be left with empty pews, so I called security, what would you have done? The man smelt , ok, he reeked of something akin to rotting flesh, I couldn’t stand it.

So, the police came and took him away and warned him never to set foot in the church again. Later, they told me that he kept saying that he wanted us to pray for his wife. Haha! Which wife, who would marry a man looking like that. He also mentioned something about conducting funeral rites for his kids who died in an accident. Dead kids? Let the local authorities handle that. Tired of the odour and sadness, the police let him lose and told him to get lost and stay lost. I agreed with them. My welfare and benevolence team are not trained to handle such people.

You see, you can’t have such people in church. They’re dirty and they have too many problems which will eventually become your problems. I mean where would you start with someone like that.

Ok, ok..JESUS said we are not to treat people based on their dressing but what did HE know, HE was preaching on a hill with lots of fresh air and HE had good clothes.

But HE touched the lepers! Did HE? Really, where is it written? Come on, that was like a couple of thousand years ago. These things can be infectious you know. Gotta be careful. No need to take unnecessary risks. Staying alive is key.

As I told you, the church is a place for people who appear to have it all together. We are faking it as we making it. Don’t believe everything you read in the Bible.

But JESUS delivered the mad man of Gadara, didn’t HE? Yes, and left him there.

But the guy was left preaching. Listen , here, you, if you want to make it in ministry, keep the stinkers out, here me. They’ll chase our niche market away.

But your niche market are really evil and wicked people? Yeah, I know. It’s a game we play. Its called, hide your true colors and act like you love JESUS. Just don’t get caught.

But that man looked like a good man who is just experiencing a very low moment. There is something about him..i don’t know. Yes, there is something about him, he’s crazy, he smells and he is poor. I don’t like that and I don’t need that.

But what will you do when JESUS returns? You are not supposed to be handling HIS sheep like that. Ha! HE is not coming back , at least any time soon, ok, if HE does, I will hastily repent. As soon as I hear the trumpet, I’m on my knees. This JESUS guy is so kind. I will repent and again HE is not sending anyone to hell especially not me, I run HIS church.

I think you should treat every body nicely regardless of what they look like. Who knows what GOD can do in their lives? Hahaha! Didn’t HE say the poor will always be among us. Let us focus on these guys who can contribute to our various projects. I mean such a guy, you’ll end up caring for his whole family and that will drain church funds. I’m telling you, don’t play good guy. This is the real world.

But haven’t you heard of Lazarus and the rich guy and how they ended up? Now, that was a parable, a story. It’s not real.

Pastor, what really do you believe? Don’t you believe anything the Bible says? Those books? I believe in me, myself and I. And what’s good for me. As long as GOD is working for me, it’s all good. As they say, every man for himself and GOD for us all.

Hey man! You’re headed to hell! There’s no such place. If there is, I’ll be in one corner making deals with satan.

Are you crazy? Satan hates you. He is just using you to settle old scores. He hates everybody and his day is coming. Says who?

Some time later……….

Hey, looks like your guy won the lottery or something. What the stinky fellow?

Yeah, he says GOD answered his prayers and gave him back what he lost. What! Wait a minute! Give me that..it’s him alright. He got some more kids too, seven at one go..what is he? Some kind of rat breeding machine. What’s this guy into?

He’s looking good. See he has mentioned you. He says he wants to come and pray for you. Great. Make sure we get into whatever scam he is into. Do your research. I need to know what he is up to, looks like I can make some good money and publicity. How I hope he doesn’t fall back into his poverty , stench and disgrace.