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I Do Part 1 - The First Date Series
Contributed by Spencer Homan on Jan 20, 2010 (message contributor)
Summary: It is SO hard to find "the one" out in the dating world. Likewise... we try so hard to find "the one" thing in this world that will fill us. It's time to meet "the one" who can truly fill us!
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John 1:45-49
45 Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote-- Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph." 46 "Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" Nathanael asked. "Come and see," said Philip. 47 When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false." 48 "How do you know me?" Nathanael asked. Jesus answered, "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you." 49 Then Nathanael declared, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel."
“I Do 1” - The First Date
Since I was a little shy when I was in high school, I didn’t ask many girls out on dates. So my friend came up to me one day and said, “Hey, I’ve lined you up with a great date for Saturday night. It’s all set.” “Who is it?” I asked. It turned out to be his cousin Doris. I had never met her. In fact, I had never met any girl named Doris. “Oh, no,” I said, “I’m not going on a blind date.” “Hey, don’t worry about this one,” my friend said. “Doris is a terrific girl. And trust me—she’s a babe. But if you don’t believe me, I’ll tell you how to get out of the date if you don’t like the way she looks.
This is what I do: I go to a girl’s front door to pick her up, and when she opens the door, I check her out. If I like what I see, then great, we’re all set. But if she’s ugly, I fake an asthma attack. I go ‘Gasp! Gasp! Gasp!’ (Hold your throat like you’re having trouble breathing.) The girl asks, ‘What’s wrong?’ And I say, ‘It’s my asthma.’ And so we have to call off the date. Just like that. No problemo.” “Well, I don’t know...but okay, it sounds easy enough.
I’ll do it,” I said. So I went to pick up Doris. I knocked on the door, and within seconds, she was standing right in front of me. I took a look at her, and to my surprise, my friend was right. She was beautiful! I stood there not knowing exactly what to say. She took one look at me and went, “Gasp! Gasp! Gasp!”
I bet we all have those kinds of stories. Dates that have gone horribly. Matchups that were bad for us. Relationships that were just no good! It’s so hard finding “the ONE!” We get to the point sometimes where we just want anybody to like us.
We go through the stages where we will do anything to fit in… anything to be liked. We’ll change our personas… change our personalities to fit in. You know… there was a time where I was a cowboy hat wearing, pick-up driving, George Strait listening cowboy! For the ladies! I went from that to the preppy vest wearing, clean cut college kid look… For the ladies! There is nothing bad with either of those… they just weren’t me! We try SO hard to fit someone ELSE’S mold… we are not true to ourselves… and we become shells of ourselves out in the dating world… where it is not US dating them… but some figment of somebody else’s imagination out on the dating scene.
Hopefully, we all got to the point where we learned… it’s best just to be YOU! To be yourself and act like yourself… because the true relationship worth waiting for is with someone who loves you for YOU! But that alone doesn’t solve all of the problems does it. You can be you… and still get hooked up with some terrible matches… even abusive matches… matches that are just plain bad for you. Like that saying, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince charming!
I was there once… where even my cat was like “C’mon man… she’s treating you like garbage!” When others confront you… “What are you doing?” When we’re there… what we do? We fool others and we fool ourselves.
It’s not that bad. You don’t know what they are really like. I deserve it. They’ve gotten so much better. They can change. And like gluttons for punishment we’ve put up with relationships that damage us, control us, and strip us of our dignity and self respect.
Back then... one of my best friends… named Alyssa… couldn’t understand why I continually put up with so much garbage. You don’t deserve it. You can do so much better. Does she EVER make you feel good about yourself? Why do you put up with this? Why don’t you just let go and set yourself free? Eventually… hopefully… we realize what is best for us… and pursue the one that will REALLY make us happy.