How To Talk So That People Will Listen

Mayor Gerardo Balmori

The Salvation Army

Introduction:

Have you ever spoken to someone and had the feeling in your heart that they weren’t really

listening to you? This is a complaint that we often hear even from husbands and wives who

married for love, but over the years have grown apart. What I’m saying is that because they had

not decided on what their life goals were early on and worked for them as a couple, over the years

their interests changed substantially, until they forgot why they got married in the first place.

Marriages are not the only type of relationships that suffer because of a lack of communication.

Friends develop different interests and move on. Business relationships change too.

Communication is an art that can be learned, and one of the best ways to be heard is to find out

what’s on the other persons mind and heart and relate what you’re saying to where they’re at.

1. We need to learn to approach people in a humble way:

A. Moses learned humility during his forty years in the desert and the wilderness of Midian which

was located on

the South-eastern bank of the Red Sea, when God first confronted him from the burning bush (see

Ex. 3:7-10).

B. He had heard about The God of Israel as he was growing up, from his mother and his siblings,

who cared for

him in the court of Pharaoh.

C. During his time alone in the wilderness he had looked up at the stars and wondered about the

deep questions

we all think about as we contemplate eternity.

D. Though Moses had been raised in the palace of Egypt, he was not quick witted and so he

thought he would be

inadequate for the task God was calling him out for. I’ve noticed as I’ve studied the Scriptures that

God often

uses people who appear weak or unworthy to accomplish His work.

2. We need to find out who we’re speaking to and speak accordingly:

A. God was calling Moses to go to Pharaoh and be the deliverer of his people. Moses was the

perfect man for the

job because he had been raised in Pharaoh’s own household and knew the ways of the Egyptians.

B. If we are to be effective we must learn as much as possible about the one we’re speaking with.

We need to try

to see things through their eyes and share our thoughts with them in their own language.

C. God had providentially worked in Moses’ life to mold him into just the right person for the work

of delivering

Israel.

D. Moses needed to come to know and trust god though, if he was to be effective. That’s the reason

God showed

Himself to Moses in the burning bush. John 20:29 says, “Blessed are they that have not seen, and

yet have

believed.”

3. We need to win them with love and kindness:

A. How do you act when someone treats you badly? Do you get belligerent and argumentative? If

you do, you’ve

lost the argument.

B. Don’t give up on the relationship. Leave the door open. People mellow with time and

circumstance. Anger

dissipates and viewpoints change.

C. Pray for that person. Luke 6:28 says, “Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which

despitefully use

you.” We don’t have to love everyone we encounter in life, but we need to love them.

D. “God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”

(Ro. 5:8).

Do you love God enough to look past your own convenience and comfort zone? Do you love

mankind enough to let yourself be used by God to reach them? Jesus said, “Blessed are the

peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matt. 5:9). By biding our time and

praying for them we stay ready to be used by God to bring them into fellowship, not just with us,

but with God in Christ as well. In every discussion or connection with others, let us remain humble

enough to reach them for Christ.