How To Get Along With Christians

As I look around the room this morning, I see a lot of white and gray hair. That’s nothing to be ashamed of; in fact, Proverbs 16:31 tells us that “Gray hair is a crown of glory”. A “crown of glory”. I like that. My problem is that my crown gets a little smaller every year. By the way, I tried to find a verse in the Old Testament for bald heads, but all I could find were instructions from Leviticus on how to diagnose leprosy, which wasn’t really helpful. But the point is that the Bible views age as a good thing. Something to glory in.

Age brings many blessings. Losses, too, of course. But one of the blessings is the relationships you build through the years, the friendships you make. Over time, those friendships deepen as you go through the various stage of life together. Boys you played sports with in high school are now fathers and grandfathers. Young married couples that you used to invite over to your house for fondue parties, they now have children who are young married couples themselves. Over the years, perhaps you’ve exchanged Christmas letters, and celebrated birthdays, and weddings, and graduations, together. And that can be a wonderful thing. There’s nothing like having people in your life that you can reminisce with, people you have a history with, people you’ve laughed, and cried with, and grown older with. People you are comfortable around, people you can trust.

But long-term relationships can also be a not-so-wonderful thing. Because just as shared happy memories can give us joy and bind us together, conflicts and disagreements over time can drive us apart. And if they’re not mended, then even petty offenses, even minor hurts, can become rifts and divisions. Hearts can be hardened. When that happens, people you’ve known for years, people you’ve been close friends with, people you’ve prayed with, and shared your life with, can become distant, or cold, or even cut themselves off from you entirely. That’s a grievous thing. Not only is it emotionally sorrowful, but it damages the reputation of the gospel.

Because whether we like it or not, people judge Christianity by how they see us relating to one another. In fact, Christ himself said that would be the case. In John’s gospel, chapter 13, verse 35, Christ tells us that “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Our love for one another is a powerful testimony for the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus said it would be a testimony to “everyone”. The love that Christians have for one another is so unusual, so different from the unbelieving world, that it can’t be ignored. But the opposite is true also. When we fail to love one another as we should, then that also becomes known to everyone.

It’s a fact of life that relationships can fray and fracture over time. And that includes relationships in the church; relationships among Christians. The good news is that we have a remedy. By God’s power, we have a way to strengthen relationships so that fractures don’t develop. So that hairline fractures don’t become compound fractures. And we have a way to repair those relationships when they do break.

We find that remedy in Paul’s letter to the Colossian church; chapter three, verses twelve through fourteen. And that’s where we’re going to focus this morning.

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14)

In this brief passage, Paul gives us the secret to harmony in our relationships with other believers. It consists of five parts.

First, we need to remind ourselves of who we are. Paul writes that we are “God’s chosen people, holy and dearly beloved”. God’s chosen people. We were, each one of us, chosen by God to be a part of the body of Christ. That matters because it changes how we see one another. It means that the person sitting next to you isn’t just some random human being who happened to wander into a church. No. That person at your table was specifically and individually selected by God—chosen by God—to be a part of his church. And therefore, it matters tremendously how you treat them. Because if you treat them poorly, as if they had little worth or value, then you are disregarding someone whom God chose to be his. Someone who is personally, and individually, known to God. Someone for whom God has a purpose and a plan. Someone whom God loves deeply. And if God loves them, then we had better love them too, Amen?