How Do I Forgive Him? How Do I Forgive Her?

- When Chris Carrier was ten, he was abducted, stabbed, shot through the head, and left for dead.

Surprisingly, he survived, but the emotional and physical scars were very difficult to heal. Eventually, though, his commitment to Christ helped him to move on with his life. The perpetrator was never found.

Over twenty years later, on September 3, 1996, Chris received a phone call from a detective in the Coral Gables, FL police department. The detective said that an elderly man in a local nursing home had confessed to being his abductor. The man’s name was David McCallister.

Chris visited David the following day. Here are his words: “It was an awkward moment, walking into his room, but as soon as I saw him I was overwhelmed with

compassion. The man I found was not an intimidating kidnapper, but a frail seventy-seven-year-old who had been blind for the last half-dozen years. David’s body was ruined by alcoholism and smoking - he weighed little more than sixty pounds. He had no family, or if he did, they wanted nothing to do with him, and no friends. A friend who had accompanied me wisely asked

him a few simple questions that led to him admitting that he had abducted me. He then asked, ‘Did you ever wish you could tell that young boy that you were sorry for what you did?’ David answered emphatically, ‘I wish I could.’ That was when I introduced myself to him.

Unable to see, David clasped my hand and told me he was sorry for what he had done to me. As he did, I

looked down at him, and it came over me like a wave: Why should anyone have to face death without family, friends, the joy of life - without hope? I couldn’t do anything but offer him my forgiveness and friendship.”

In the days that followed, Chris was able to share the love of Christ with David.

[Source: J. Arnold, ‘Why Forgive?’]

- What is our motivation for doing such a difficult thing? Again, as our text points out, we are doing for them what God did for us.

5. If possible, enjoy the healed relationship.

- Sometimes the other person can’t join you in moving toward reconciliation (for example, in forgiving a parent now passed on) and sometimes the other person won’t join you (for example, someone who won’t acknowledge that they’ve hurt you).

- For reconciliation to happen, they must understand the pain that they’ve caused you and must be sorrowful over it.

- But when they are, make sure you enjoy the healing and the renewed relationship that can only come through forgiveness.