Home Alone Series

May 18, 2003

The teaching ministry of Rev. Mike Hensley, First Baptist Church, Raton, NM

Ben Young, whose various singles ministries at Second Baptist of Houston typically draw 7,000 people, says that the greatest challenge he faces as a singles pastor is twofold: Helping prepare people who will eventually marry to prepare themselves for healthy relationships and affirming the fact that singleness is a healthy, legitimate lifestyle—that it’s not God’s will for everyone to be married.

Three things for us to consider as we speak about Christian Singles.

We must respect the situation of every Single:

Some are single by choice.

Some choices to remain single: Just flat don’t want to get married, “I would love to have a man around the house—just not in my house.” The pool of prospects is shallow and they are not going to settle. (Consider a “Bad Breath” guy—His breath could stain a wall.—He chooses not to date by not brushing his teeth!)

A person should never get married unless they believe that God put them together. Emotions and looks wear out—growing together in God does not.

Some are single by circumstance.

Some circumstances that make a person single: Death or Divorce (Give examples)

Some are single by call. (1 Cor 7:7)

Some are single by a divine call from God: (Jesus, The Apostle Paul, and others)

The second thing we should consider as we minister to Singles:

We must make the most of every single situation:

Learn to celebrate the life that you have and don’t wait to start living. (1 Cor 7:27)

Illustration: A major myth: My life + someone else=happiness—we are fed this lie at a young age—What happens when Cinderella marries the Handsome prince…? Some singles believe that if they could just find the right person then they could be happy. Some married people do the same thing—they think that if they had someone else—beside the one they have—then they’d be happy

If you are single and unhappy and get married you will get married and be twice as unhappy. If you are married and discontent and get divorced, you will be divorced and discontent. A lot of folks are looking in the wrong place for happiness.

Learn what it means to be content in every situation. (1 Cor 7:32-35; Phil. 4:11-13)

Lastly, We must warn Singles about situational ethics:

Situational ethics state that “decision-making should be based upon the circumstances of a particular situation, and not upon fixed Law.”

Illustration: Situational Ethics was pioneered by Joseph Fletcher. His work founded the modern situational ethics movement. Since then, almost every publication on situational ethics has referred to the model presented in Fletcher’s writings. Fletcher was an Episcopal priest, a member of the Euthanasia Educational Counsel, and a supporter of both euthanasia and abortion.

Situational Ethics, according to Fletcher’s model, states that decision-making should be based upon the circumstances of a particular situation, and not upon fixed Law. According to SE, the only absolute is Love. Love should be the motive behind every decision. As long as Love is your intention, the end justifies the means. Justice is not in the letter of the Law, it is in the distribution of Love. Fletcher founded his model upon a statement found in the New Testament, "God is Love" (I John 4:8).

We cannot do “what feels good.” We cannot justify breaking God laws just because we are “in love” We must do what God says to do even if we don’t like it. We are Christians who are single—Christian comes first.

Situational ethics is flawed because it is not Biblical enough.

Fletcher’s model of Situational Ethics appears reasonable upon a glance, yet given careful consideration, its flaw becomes apparent. Situational Ethics is based upon "God is Love" in I John 4:8. However, in the very next chapter we read, "This is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome" (I John 5:3). While Fletcher holds that any commandment may be broken in good conscience if Love is one’s intention, the Bible states that the keeping of God’s commandments is loving God. To break any commandment, regardless of your intentions, is to not love God.

Conclusion—Are you making the most out of the life you have been given? Have you postponed living because of the circumstance you find yourself in? Today’s message is about celebrating the person that you are! God has great plans for your life. Will you let God have your heart? Will you trust Him with your future? Giving God “today” is the best way to assure a better tomorrow. Let God use you by making yourself available to Him!