Health Care Reform- Jesus Style

Matthew 9:9-13

"Healthcare Reform—Jesus Style"

Once upon a time

There was a king.

A tribal chief.

He was angry about the "white" influence in that region.

He decided that only medical personnel could remain.

Everybody else had to go.

Teachers...missionaries...merchants...

They all had to go.

It was well known that only one white doctor worked the region,

travelling from village to village.

Yet, two men claimed to be doctors.

The King had them both brought to him.

"What do you call this bone?" He asked the first pointing to his forearm.

The man answered correctly.

He offered the next man a list of symptoms and asked how he would treat them.

That man also answered to the King’s satisfaction.

This was getting the Chief no where fast.

So, he had a slave, captured from another tribe, brought before them.

Without a word, the King stepped forward,

pulled his great knife

and slit the man across the chest.

One man drew back, vomiting at the sight of blood.

The other raced forward

instinctively

to stop the bleeding

and save the slave.

Said the King proudly,

"This man is the doctor.

The other is an imposter."

[Read Matthew 9:9-13]

Healthcare reform is a big issue today.

We need healthcare reform in the church.

Our system of assistance is outdated and inefficient.

We are staffed with doctors who won’t treat any sickness

that might be contagious.

Doctors who faint at the sight of blood

Who get nauseous looking at an open, infected wound.

We have "prevention clinics" scattered coast to coast.

Come in an get one of our brochures on how to avoid the consequences of sin

Stop by and talk to one of our spiritual healthcare professionals

to ward off the disgusting effects of

divorce

cussing

drinking

drugs

premarital sex

Of course,

if you’re already broke out with spots

if your marriage is already shattered

your mouth full of poison; every other word beginning with the letter "F"

If you’re trapped in a bottle

or bankrupt and homeless because of a needle

or if your not losing a daughter so much as gaining a grandson...

Go see the government assistance office down the street.

This clinic is only for the healthy.

Imagine going to see your doctor--

As he comes in to examine you

your cough starts in....

He shrinks back, covering his mouth with his hand

You explain that you’ve had the cough ever since you discovered this skin disorder

Pulling back your pant leg

revealing a blackened growth oozing yellowish green...something

surrounded by reddened skin, broken open and bleeding

He begins to sweat as he mumbles something about another patient and runs from the room

not even bothering to pull the door closed.

How long would you keep that doctor?

So you visit your new doctor.

Experiencing your cough first hand and examining your leg he makes lengthy notes on his chart...

He also takes your blood pressure and runs blood tests.

Within in a week you are called back for a follow-up

"Well, overall your not in too bad condition for an overweight, pathetic hypochondriac. Your blood pressure is off the charts and its your own fault. Too much salt and too many Whoppers with King Size fries... Don’t you watch television? You should know better at your age.

Look at your cholesterol...no, don’t bother, it’s at least as large as that belly you’re hauling around.

Oh, almost forgot...That cough? Don’t you ever read billboards? The Marlboro man is not your friend...What’s that? You don’t smoke? Well, what have you done to change jobs? Don’t you know that second hand smoke is twice as deadly? What? Pension? Pension my eye! You won’t be around to spend any of it...

See that on your leg? It’s cancer. The worst kind. I can’t believe you people sitting out in the sun all day...What are you trying to do? Prepare yourself to cover luggage? How stupid could you be...I could prescribe some treatments but your probably too dumb to follow my directions...

Dragging yourself and what little self respect you have left...

You visit another doctor recommended bya friend:

He runs tests and listens intently to every word you say...

Charming and bright eyed

You can’t wait for your follow up session with this one!

"Well, you are a fascinating case", he tells you.

You have a respitory infection that is very advanced.

Your cholesterol is high but managable and your blood pressure makes you high risk for a stroke.

That growth on your leg is cancerous and should be removed immediately...

What’s that? Surgery? No, I don’t do that...lawsuits and things you know...

Do I know someone? Well, yes, but I wouldn’t endanger anyone I know-- if they want to do your surgery they’ll have to contact you...I don’t want it coming back on me if they make a mistake.