Handling Offences And Church Conflicts Series

HANDLING OFFENCES AND CHURCH CONFLICTS

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Matthew 18:15-17

Key Verse: “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” (Matthew 18:15)

Supporting Texts: Proverbs 19:11; Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:13; Romans 12:18; James 1:19-20

INTRODUCTION:

Conflict is a part of human relationships, even among believers. Differences in opinion, expectations, and behaviour can lead to offences. However, the way we handle offences determines whether relationships are strengthened or destroyed. Jesus gave clear instructions on how to deal with offences in Matthew 18:15-17, emphasising reconciliation, forgiveness, and restoration.

The devil often uses offences as a tool to sow discord in the body of Christ. When offences are not properly handled, they can escalate into bitterness, division, and even break fellowship within the church. That is why Scripture admonishes us to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Offences will surely come, but believers must choose the path of peace and love.

As disciples of Christ, we are called to handle offences in a way that glorifies God and edifies the body. The goal of addressing offences is not to prove who is right or wrong but to restore fellowship, promote unity, and preserve the witness of the church before the world.

1. UNDERSTANDING THE NATURE OF OFFENCES

Before we can handle offences, we must understand what they are and why they occur.

a) Offences are Inevitable (Luke 17:1)

Jesus warned that offences must surely come, but woe to those who cause them. We must be prepared to deal with them.

b) Offences Often Begin Small (Song of Solomon 2:15)

Little foxes spoil the vine. Small misunderstandings, if ignored, can become major conflicts.

c) Offences Affect Relationships (Proverbs 18:19)

A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city. Offences create walls between people.

d) Offences Can Lead to Sin (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Unresolved offences give place to the devil and can lead to bitterness, gossip, and strife.

Biblical Example: Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:3-8). Cain’s offence at God’s rejection of his offering led to bitterness and eventually murder, showing the danger of mishandled offences.

2. BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES FOR HANDLING OFFENCES

The Word of God provides a clear process for addressing offences among believers.

a) Address It Privately (Matthew 18:15)

The first step is to speak to the offender alone, seeking reconciliation without exposing them.

b) Involve Witnesses if Necessary (Matthew 18:16)

If private discussion fails, involve one or two others to help mediate and restore peace.

c) Bring It Before the Church (Matthew 18:17)

If the issue persists, it should be presented to the church leadership for resolution.

d) Let Go and Forgive (Colossians 3:13)

Even when reconciliation seems impossible, believers must choose forgiveness for the sake of peace.

Biblical Example: Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-40). Though their sharp disagreement caused separation, God still used both mightily, showing the importance of managing offences wisely.

3. THE ROLE OF FORGIVENESS IN RESOLVING CONFLICTS

Forgiveness is central to handling offences and healing broken relationships.

a) Forgive as Christ Forgave (Ephesians 4:32)

Believers must extend forgiveness because they themselves have received mercy from God.

b) Forgiveness Prevents Bitterness (Hebrews 12:15)

Failure to forgive leads to a root of bitterness, which defiles many.

c) Forgiveness Restores Fellowship (2 Corinthians 2:7-8)

Forgiveness brings healing and restores the offender to fellowship with the body.

d) Forgiveness is Unlimited (Matthew 18:21-22)

Jesus taught Peter to forgive seventy times seven, showing that forgiveness must be continuous.

Biblical Example: Joseph and his brothers (Genesis 50:19-21). Joseph forgave his brothers despite their betrayal, preserving the family and fulfilling God’s purpose.

4. PROMOTING PEACE AND UNITY IN THE CHURCH

Beyond resolving offences, believers must actively cultivate peace and unity.

a) Pursue Peace with All (Romans 12:18)

As much as possible, believers must live peaceably with all people.

b) Practice Patience and Self-Control (James 1:19-20)

Quick listening, slow speech, and slow anger prevent conflicts from escalating.

c) Bear with One Another (Colossians 3:13)

Patience and tolerance help maintain harmony in the body of Christ.

d) Love is the Bond of Perfection (Colossians 3:14)

Love covers a multitude of sins and binds the church together in unity

Biblical Example: The church at Antioch (Acts 11:22-26). Despite cultural differences, the disciples worked in unity, and the church flourished as a place where believers were first called Christians.

CONCLUSION:

Offences and conflicts are unavoidable, but they do not have to destroy relationships or the work of God. The Lord has given His church a clear roadmap for handling offences with wisdom, patience, and love. When we follow these principles, unity is preserved, and the name of Christ is glorified.

As believers, we must choose forgiveness over bitterness, reconciliation over division, and love over pride. By doing so, we demonstrate the character of Christ and maintain the testimony of the church as the light of the world.