Godly Dads

Opening illustration: While waiting for an eye examination last year, I was struck by a statement I saw in the optometrist’s office: “Eighty percent of everything children learn in their first 12 years is through their eyes.” I began thinking of all that children visually process through reading, television, film, events, surroundings, and observing the behavior of others, especially their families. On this Father’s Day, we often think about the powerful influence of a dad.

Introduction: Paul urged fathers not to frustrate their children to the point of anger, but to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Think of the powerful example of a dad whose behavior and consistency inspire admiration from his children. He’s not perfect, but he’s moving in the right direction. A great power for good is at work when our actions reflect the character of God, rather than distort it.

That’s challenging for any parent, so it’s no coincidence that Paul urges us to “be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might” (v.10). Only through His strength can we reflect the love and patience of our heavenly Father. We teach our children far more from how we live than by what we say.

Paul writes of two of the most basic human relationships: parent-child (6:1-4) and employer-employee (6:5-9). The parent-child relationship is particularly sacred. The fifth commandment to honor parents is the only one of the Ten Commandments with a special blessing attached for those who observe it (Ex. 20:12; Eph. 6:2-3). On the other hand, ancient Israelites who physically or verbally abused their parents were put to death (Ex. 21:15,17; Lev. 20:9). (David C. McCasland, ODB, 06/15/2014)

How should dads impact their children? (v. 4)

1. Deal with them in a calm and peaceful spirit

Paul’s words were very necessary for the society in which he lived. In Paul’s era, families were even more dysfunctional than they are today. It was not uncommon in some Greek and Roman cultures for men and women to have twenty marriages in a life time. Mutual love among the members of a family was almost nonexistent. In fact, most fathers ruled the home with an iron fist. History tells us that in that day, the father held the power of life and death over his family as they were considered his property for he had complete ownership over their lives.

? A father could force his children out of the home at any time, at any age.

? He could sell them as slaves.

? He could enslave them, chain them and force them to work in the fields.

? He could take the law into his own hands and declare any sentence he pleased.

? He could even have them put to death and answer to no one for his actions.

? Infants were placed at their father’s feet for him to inspect. If he picked up the child, it was accepted into the family and cared for. If he walked away, the child was simply disposed of. Babies like these, who were healthy, were picked up, taken to the forum and sold to be raised as slaves and prostitutes.

? The Roman statesman Seneca, who lived in Rome while Paul was imprisoned there wrote, “We slaughter a fierce ox, we strangle a mad dog, we plunge a knife into a sick cow. Children born weak or deformed, we drown.”

? Such was the backdrop against which Paul was writing. He is telling His readers, and us, that there is a new and better way to be a parent.

? Of course, in our day, wicked parents still abound. A recent study found that the primary reason most children end up in foster care is not divorce, death, or finances; but simple disinterest on the part of the parents. They simply do not care about the welfare of the child!

We are told to “provoke not your children to wrath.” This phrase refers to a pattern of treatment that builds up resentment in the child. Parents are to avoid causing their children to “brood with anger.” When children are “provoked to wrath,” they may even act this anger out in open hostility to parents and other authority figures. So, how does a parent “provoke a child to wrath?” There are many ways, I will name just a few.

• Being Overprotective

• Playing Favorites

• Unrealistic Expectations

• Constant Discouragement

• Label Them A Nuisance

• Trying To Mature Them Too Quickly

• Using Love As A Reward Or A Punishment

• Using Physical And Verbal Abuse

2. Train them up in the Ways of Christ

(i) Parents Are To Enrich Their Children – We are to “bring them up.” This praise has the idea of “nourishing” them. We are to tend to them like we would a tender plant. We are to help them reach their fullest potential in the Lord. We are to help them “be all they can be.” If we are to do this, then we are going to have to invest the one thing that most parents are not willing to give up: time. According to a recent study, the average father in America spends a whopping 3.7 seconds with his children every day! What a tragedy. Is it any wonder that we are raising a generation of juvenile delinquents? In fact, 85% of the inmates never had any fathers. Think about what the absence of good fathers is doing to our families and to our nation!