Funeral For A Stillborn Baby

Baby’s Name: _________________________________

Mother’s Name: _____________________________________

Father’s Name: ______________________________________

Date of Death: _______________________________________

Gender: _____________

Weight and Size: ________ lbs. ________ inches

INTRODUCTION

Thank You for coming today. We are here because we love the family of __________________ (name of the child), and we want to offer comfort and support.

Personal Advice: Never say, “I understand.” Also, DO NOT try to answer these questions. You may even want to admit that you do not know the answers. Communicate to the family that you are there to help them work their way through this tragic loss. (In Chaplaincy, we call this the “Ministry of Presence.”

• Address the expectation, love, and preparedness that went into the arrival of this baby.

• Express the pain of the sudden loss and unexpected end of the child’s life here on this earth. (Our souls are hurting)

• Talk briefly about the unanswered questions and uncontrollable emotions present during these times. Questions like:

o Why did God let this happen?

o Did I do something wrong that made this happen?

o How are we going to move forward?

• Communicate that it’s ok to be angry and full of grief. It’s ok to cry, be sad, and feel hopeless. God will not be mad at you for expressing how you feel to Him, even if it’s in anger. He wants to comfort us when we don’t understand.

I. A Biblical Example of a Grieving Parent who lost a Child at Birth was King David (and Bathsheba).

A. While King David’s situation is different than this one, the fact remains he was suffering because his child had died at birth.

a. Psalms 51 is David’s response to God as he grieved the loss of his child (among other things).

? Psalms 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart – These, O God, You will not despise.

b. Earlier in the chapter, we see David crying out to God, saying, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.” Psalms 51:10-12

a. My encouragement to you during this time of grief is to lean on the Lord. Let Him restore your broken heart and lift your shattered spirit.

b. Ask God to help you embrace the work of the Holy Spirit to comfort you during this time of sorrow.

B. Later, we find more wisdom from King David in Psalms 139.

Psalms 139:13-16

13. For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.

14. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

15. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

a. Verse 15 lets us know that God knows _____________________.

II. We know that ____________________ is with Jesus right now. We only have to read Matthew 19:14 to know this!

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

A. These words of Jesus answer the question, “What happens to children who die before they reach the age of accountability?”

1. Jesus said, “... of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

2. This passage is proof that _________________ is in heaven right now with Jesus.

B. I like what one of my ministry colleagues (Brian Bolton) wrote. He said,

Today we grieve over the loss of your child:

o whose eyes were closed in death

o whose ears only new sound from your womb

o whose lips could not speak

o whose smile you could not see

But I want you to imagine this in your minds:

o When _____________ opened his/her eyes for the first time, the first thing he/she saw was the glory of God.

o The first thing little ________________ ears heard outside of the womb was angels singing.

o The first words that _________________ ever spoke were spoken to God.

o The first one to see her little smile was Jesus and I can almost see His bearded face smile right back as His eyes brightened, and He said, “I know this face!, This is _____________________”

III. Comfort from the Scriptures

God is speaking to us today through His Word.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”