From Throwing Shade To Growing Up

October 12, 2025 Sermon “From Throwing Shade to Growing Up”

Key Texts: Matthew 5:9; James 3:18; Romans 12:18; Hebrews 12:14; Luke 6:35

I speak to you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Today’s message is the second in a series we are doing this month on emotional maturity and spiritual maturity.

The reason we’re doing this is simple: Spiritual and emotional maturity always grow together—like roots and branches, you can’t have one without the other.

Spiritual Maturity

Spiritual maturity is simply this: Jesus being formed in us. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Over time, our words, our choices, our way of living and loving start to look more like Jesus.

When Jesus says, “Be perfect, as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48), He’s not asking us to be without mistakes—that’s impossible.

He’s inviting us to grow toward Him, toward wholeness; to let God shape us so we love as He loves.

The word perfect here means “complete, whole.” It’s about becoming steady, healed, and rooted in God’s love.

We don’t get there by simply trying harder.

We get there by trusting Christ, receiving His grace, and letting Him change us from the inside out.

C.S. Lewis said God’s goal is not “nice people” but “new people.”

True maturity is Jesus transforming us so mercy, forgiveness, and love flow outward—even to enemies.

Spiritual maturity is a journey, not a finish line. It’s about becoming whole in Jesus, step by step, with God’s help.

Emotional maturity is handling our feelings so they bring life and peace, not harm and regret.

It’s about slowing down enough to notice what’s really going on inside us, and then responding instead of just reacting.

Paul gives us a picture of this in Galatians 5:22–23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

Emotional maturity shows up when these fruit start shaping how we treat ourselves and others.

It doesn’t mean we never feel anger, fear, or sadness. It means we invite God into those feelings and let His Spirit guide our response.

Just like spiritual maturity, emotional maturity is a journey. We grow as the Spirit teaches us patience, helps us weather storms, and gives us kindness even when life is hard.

It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about becoming more honest, steady, and real—with God’s help and power.

Emotions are like kids in the backseat—you can’t throw them out, but you also don’t hand them the wheel.

With the Spirit driving, emotions ride along as companions instead of taking us off course. And here’s something we all know: Our emotional and spiritual growth is rarely a straight line—it’s more like a squiggly path, full of forward steps, stumbles, and grace.

It goes up and down, forward and back. Some days it feels like progress, other days like setback.

That’s completely normal.

If you mapped my growth, it wouldn’t look like a straight arrow up—it’d look more like a toddler scribbled on the wall with crayons. And honestly, some days I still feel like the toddler.

The book we’re referring to for this month’s series, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality using gives some examples of what happens when emotional maturity is missing.

Let’s think together. I’m going to ask you a few questions. Ready?

Here’s an example: Yolanda is engaged but has doubts. She wants more time to think, yet fears her fiancé and his family’s anger. So she goes through with the wedding anyway.

Can you see yourself in Yolanda’s choice? What counsel would you have given her before the wedding?

Marcus often borrows money. His friends feel used, but no one wants to say no. One friend, James, feels guilty—“Marcus already has so little. Who am I to make it worse?” So he keeps lending, even as it strains his finances and breeds resentment. Can you see yourself in James’s shoes? What advice would you give him before handing over more money?

These stories highlight something important: You’ll never find true peace by pretending wrong is right.

True peacemakers love God, others, and themselves enough to disrupt false peace.

Can you affirm this:

Jesus Christ is my Saviour

Jesus Christ is my Lord

Jesus Christ is my King

Jesus Christ is my life.

We love thinking of Jesus as Saviour and King. But here’s a harder truth: He also unsettles us. He disrupts false peace so we can find true peace.

Jesus Christ my disruptor

If Jesus is truly my Lord, then He must also be my disruptor—the one who unsettles fake peace.

That’s not language we’re used to. But look at the Gospels.

Jesus often disturbed false peace, confronted hypocrisy, and brought God’s kingdom in ways that unsettled the comfortable.

Healing on the Sabbath (Luke 13) – Jesus disrupts rigid traditions to reveal God’s heart of mercy.