Forgoing Series

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Christmas is For-giving Part 2 Forgoing

Introduction (taken from a series by Craig Groeschel)

Today- continue our series- Christmas is For-Giving.

Complete series on Christmas Eve- invite friends.

Last week- looked at forgiving those who have hurt us.

Today- initiating forgiveness toward those we- hurt. NNN

Forgoing

Many-love Christmas-others-sense of loss, pain, regret

Today- want God to bring healing to our relationships.

Survey- how many- allowed someone to borrow something and that low-down, no-good, person never brought it back? Flip side- how many low-down, no- good, people here have something someone loaned you- you have not returned it.

Interesting- fewer people than before- why?

It is easier to remember people who have hurt us, than to remember people we have hurt. N

Today- examine our hearts- have I wronged someone?

Mat 5:23-25

If you are going to worship and know you have hurt someone, do everything possible to settle it quickly.

Question- if- clothes catch fire, what should you do?

Stop, Drop, and Roll (picture) S

Relate them to spiritual truths-Stop, Drop, and Give. N

1. Stop and acknowledge those you have hurt N/S

Difficult- easier to point the finger at other people.

Mat 5:23-24

How many- actually do what Matthew tells us to do?

Have you ever been shopping- see someone you do not want to talk to- look away, walk opposite direction. Flip-side- you are out- somebody sees you and does not want to talk to you- looks the

other way, walks in opposite direction.

Sometimes- we like to avoid certain people/issues.

At family gatherings- elephants in the room that nobody wants to talk about. S

Family-outwardly successful-hold hands, carry Bibles.

After all, that is what spiritual families do- yet behind the scenes- physical/sexual/verbal abuse- issues.

Generally we judge others on one criteria- N

We judge others by their actions.

We judge ourselves by our intentions.

Why- we know what our heart felt or meant to do.

If I borrowed a book from you and have not returned it- I will, my intentions are good, it just slipped my mind or I am busy, but I am going to get it back to you- that is my heart’s intent.

I judge myself by my intentions- you by your actions.

In my heart I love someone, but my actions have not always demonstrated what was in my heart.

They judge me by my actions- but I would say my heart was right and my intentions were good.

First we are going to STOP- second we are going to-

2. Drop everything to make it right S/N

Mat 5:24-25

There is a certain urgency in what Jesus says.

As a parent- busy doing something or talking w/someone- child gets hurt- starts screaming- what do you do- drop everything/run to them.

Maybe we may have relationships where someone is crying out inside- silent scream- can we deal w/this.

We must learn to DROP everything and bring healing.

We need to pray and ask God to-

open a door for us to talk to someone we hurt,

give us a chance to initiate forgiveness.

When- talk about forgiveness-something to remember-

If you have something against somebody and they do not know about it, keep it to yourself. S

If you have been judging someone for years-

because of their actions, attitude,

the way they dress, they brown-nose the boss-

and suddenly you want to deal with it-

do not go to them and tell them you have had a problem with them for the past 10 years-

keep it to yourself- let God deal with your heart.

I do not want to hear- you have not liked me for years.

If I do not know about it- it is between you and God.

Do not go and create a wound because you have internalized something towards someone else.

STOP- acknowledge you have hurt someone, then DROP everything to make it right.

When making an apology-

If at all possible, do it face to face. N

Do not fax-it, Facebook it, or email it.

Here is how you need to do it- go to them and say-

I am sorry that I have hurt you. (Period) N

Do not add any fine print to your apology- I am sorry-

but here is what you did- made me do what I did

but here is what was going on in my life.

Then ask them to forgive you-

Will you please forgive me? N

I do not deserve it, I offer no excuses.

When making an apology-

Do your part and trust God with the rest. N

Three things can happen when you apologize-

First- they did not know- tell you everything is okay.

Second- acknowledge what you did/fully forgive you.

Third, they may say- forget it, game over, do not collect $200, our relationship is done.