Fight For Your Family Series

4. Reclaim your family. Listen to the last part of verse 14: “…and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” This is the right fight! Don’t be surprised if your family feels like a war zone but instead of fighting each other, begin fighting for each other.

Some of us, like me, are way too passive in our parenting. If I’m not distracted by other things, I’m disengaged for no good reason at all. I might be the head of the home, but Beth is for sure the heart of our home. It’s time for me to fight for my family. Let’s say it again: Instead of fighting with my family, I will fight for my family.

I read an article this week called, “Never Give Up Parenting a Difficult Teen” that was posted on Crossmap.com. Here’s a section that jumped out at me: “Teen problems usually have to do with hormones, immaturity and brain development. They are fueled by struggles for independence, identity, and the testing of beliefs. But all of this is just a phase! That’s why in the midst of the turmoil, you still need to stick with them, even if you don’t feel your teen deserves it. The goal during the battle is to keep your relationship with your teen alive….so decide right now, ‘I’ll never, ever quit.’”

Drop down to Nehemiah 4:23 for a moment: “Neither I nor my brothers nor my men nor the guards with me took off our clothes; each had his weapon, even when he went for water.” While under attack they didn’t even change their clothes, which must have pleased the sellers of deodorant. The point is that they never disarmed and never let down their guard. They were on task at all times as they fought for their families.

Reggie Joiner tells the story about what happened one day when his daughter was in the seventh grade. After a major blow-up in which both daughter and dad said some things they shouldn’t have, dad was so hurt that he left the room and drove off in his car. Feeling betrayed and offended, he just drove and drove and drove. About fifteen minutes later his cell phone rang. It was his daughter. “Dad, I’m sorry,” she said. “You know I really didn’t mean what I said. But why did you leave? Why did you walk out? I need to know that our relationship is worth fighting for.”

Joiner reflects on this and adds: “I can’t really prove this because I don’t have any statistical information to back it up, but I think Rebekah verbalized what a lot of teenagers think at some point…I have talked to college girls whose fathers have stopped fighting for their relationships with their daughters…I have talked to sons who have strained relationships with parents because they became disengaged relationally after conflicts in high school. As parents we make a drastic mistake if we stop fighting, yielding to the myth that maybe our kids don’t need a relationship with us…Listen to Nehemiah, and ‘fight for your sons and daughters and wives and homes.’” (“Think Orange,” pages 181-183).

Do all your children know that you will never stop pursuing them or fighting for a right relationship with them? Chip Clark writes: “Moms and dads need to see their parental role as a marathon, recognizing that building a relationship in which their child trusts them is even more important than whether they can trust their child regarding the immediate issues of the day.”