Fast Food Faith Series

FAST FOOD FAITH

2 Kings 5: 1-14

That¡¯s it. Now I¡¯ve seen it all!

I watched a show called Married by America in which a group of single women and a group of single men gave the TV audience information about themselves and were then paired up by the viewers. Viewers chose who they would marry. Contestants were willing to make a life-long sacred commitment, to start a family with whomever others decided was best for each! Can you believe that!

As a pastor, I shouldn¡¯t be surprised.. We often hear, ¡° Pastor, my fianc¨¦e and I are looking for a church for our wedding. Will you marry us next week?¡± And then they become furious when we say no. Everything has to be now, or better yet, yesterday. No wonder the institution of marriage is in so much trouble!

Why, just the other day a mild mannered young man came into my office ready for a divorce. He complained that his bride was so bossy that she was driving him off the wall. He wanted things to change, immediately.

I told him that he needed to build his self-esteem and that this would take time. Then I gave him a book on assertiveness. He was so desperate to change things that he read

The whole book on the way home. By the time he reached his house he had read the whole book. Determined to be a victim no more, he stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that ¡°I¡± am the man of this house, and my word is law!

I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and to finish the meal you will have baked for me a fabulous dessert.

Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax.

And when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my

hair ...."

"The funeral director," said his wife.

People don¡¯t want to wait. Do they? What happened to patience to calm. Where did tranquility go?

We life such fast paced lives that we don¡¯t even use normal language any more. We don¡¯t even use whole words. We have invented a new language of abbreviations and acronyms. And this is nothing new.

A veteran of WWII saw a UFO. He went for a CAT scan and an MRI. I ¡®all give you some 411, they¡¯re together 24/7, so we contacted the NAACP. NASA is investigating the tragedy. They called the FBI, not the CIA . And Methodists, forget it. We have the UMW, GBGM, the GBOM, Larry who leads the UMYF is joining David to start a UMJYF group on Wednesdays. We even close our letters with LOL instead of lots of love.

Now be careful with abbreviations or they can get you in serious trouble.

A rather old fashioned lady wrote a letter to a particular campground and asked for reservations. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped but didn¡¯t know quite how to ask about the "toilet" facilities. She just couldn¡¯t bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom Commode," but when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she referred to the Bathroom Commode" simply as the "B.C.". Does the campground have its own "B.C.?" is what she actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn¡¯t old fashioned at all, and then he got the letter, he couldn¡¯t figure out what the lady was talking about. That "B.C." really stumped him.

After worrying about it for several days, he came to the conclusion that the lady was asking about the location of the local Baptist Church.

So he sat down and wrote the following reply: "Dear Madam: I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure of informing in that the "B.C." is located nine miles north of the camp site and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along, and make a day of it..... They usually arrive early and stay late. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now, there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats.....They plan to hold the supper in the middle of the B.C., so everyone can watch and talk about this great event.....I would like to say it pains me very much, not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely not for lack of desire on my part....As we grow older, it seems to be more and more of an effort, particularly in cold weather..... If you decide to come down to the campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go...sit with you...and introduce you to all the other folks..... This is really a very friendly community.....