Family Systems

June 9, 2024

Rev. Mary Erickson

Hope Lutheran Church

Mark 3:20-35

Family Systems

Friends, may grace and peace be yours in abundance in the knowledge of God and Christ Jesus our Lord.

A carnival director interviewed a young man who was an aspiring magician. The director asked him, “So tell me, what’s your best trick?” The young man answered, “Oh, definitely, sawing a woman in half. That’s my best trick.” “Wow, sawing a woman in two. Isn’t that pretty difficult?” “Not really,” replied the young man, “I’ve been able to do that one since I was a child. I used to practice it on my sisters.” The circus director responded, “Your sisters. Do you come from a large family?” “Why, yes, I do,” answered the man, “I have eight half-sisters.”

Families come in all sorts of configurations and sizes. Some are large; others are small. Some families are blended. They have a little bit of yours, mine, and ours. Families can be formed from people of very different cultural backgrounds, economic strata, varying ethnic heritages. Or they can be comprised of people who are very similar, very homogeneous.

We all come from a family unit of some kind or another. Families are interesting things. A psychiatrist by the name of Murray Bowen did research which became the basis for the family systems model. Bowen noticed that each family forms its own unique sub-culture. We have our own rules and mores. Some families have a high level of emotional cohesion while others are more independent and differentiated. Where we fall in the birth order influences our personality, too. Important patterns and behaviors, such as how we communicate or deal with anxiety or conflict, are passed down, even over multiple generations.

Jesus came from a family. His was a little out of the ordinary, as there was some question as to who his father really was. But Joseph and Mary formed a family unit, with Jesus as their oldest child. They went on to have more children, it seems, from our text today.

But as the oldest male child, there would have been some expectations for Jesus. In a patrilineal society, he would have been the next leader in his family’s lineage. Families in first century Palestine were very cohesive. They stuck together in multi-generational households.

So when Jesus up and leaves Nazareth to engage in his itinerant ministry, certain alarm bells went off. What is he doing? Why is he abandoning his mother and family? There was no ready explanation for what he had done. Was he all right? Had he lost it? Was he … CRAZY?

When rumors of an unhinged Jesus make their way to Nazareth, Mary rounds up all her other children and heads off to collect her eldest son.

Family systems experience intense sadness when there is a child who succumbs to a serious malady. We all know families which have been affected by depression or substance abuse or schizophrenia, to name a few examples. It’s just horrible! They agonize over this child who is trapped in a tar pit of emotions. They would do anything for their child.

And that is exactly what Mary does. She gathers all of Jesus’ siblings, and together they set off to bring him back to the loving refuge of the family home.

Meanwhile, there’s another system in operation that also has an interest in Jesus. Word gets up to Jerusalem about this upstart evangelist in Galilee who is causing quite a stir. They’ve heard reports of incredible healings but also of some alarming sabbath infractions. A delegation of scribes is sent to Galilee to investigate. Their diagnosis is much more dire than just mere insanity. Jesus is possessed by the devil!

It's really the oldest play in the book. To discredit your opponent, just demonize them. We see it in modern politics all the time. When we demonize the other side, it becomes much easier to discredit and ignore their message. And easier still to justify doing whatever it takes to rub them out. This tactic will, in fact, be the end game for the religious hierarchy in Jerusalem towards Jesus. They will label him a heretic and call for his death.

But when we engage in slurs of demonization, we’re playing with fire. Jesus publicly calls out the religious leaders. How can Satan cast out Satan? He asserts that a house divided cannot stand.

Jesus is calling out to the dynamics of dysfunction within a systems model. Is there anything worse than a household embroiled in conflict? The place of hearth and refuge becomes a war zone. It simply cannot endure. Those dwelling within will be eaten up.

What are we doing when we demonize one another? As a nation, we’re turning up the volume of political animosity and polarization. What lasting damage is being done to our country by our continual vitriol towards those who see the world differently than we do? How does this cannibalization of one another play out in the long run? It’s not good.