Engagement And Marriage Series

December 29, 2012

Commentary on First Corinthians

By: Tom Lowe

Lesson 6.5: Engagement and Marriage

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7.36-38

1 Cor 7.36-38 (KJV)

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

Commentary

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

But if any man think

Apparently, Paul had been asked a question pertaining to the duty of a father toward his daughter with regard to marriage, and this passage contains his response, since this and the following verse are addressed to fathers, and Paul’s advice concerns his single daughter. It will help in understanding this passage to know the control which the father had over the marriage of his daughter in ancient times. According to the practice both of Jews and of Greeks, the father had total control over his daughter’s marriage; whether she could be married, when she could marry and to whom. From what we have learned so far, it is clear that the apostle regarded marriage at that time as undesirable. In this short passage, he tells fathers that they are perfectly free to exercise their own judgment in giving their daughters in marriage or keeping them single.

that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin,

“His Virgin” in this context is his daughter, or his ward, or any unmarried female committed to his care, and it does not mean a virgin, in the sense of never having sexual relations with a man, but the state of virginity or celibacy, whether in a man or woman. The term “uncomely” signifies behaving improperly, and in this passage where Paul is giving advice relating to marriage, it probably means denying his daughter the right to marry—perhaps for the reasons mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7.25-34—which would expose her to criticism, and she would lose respect. Remember that in this ancient culture, a young person's parents had the primary responsibility for arranging their marriage.

The Jews say that the time of marriage is from 16 or 17 to 20; while some of the Gentiles specify from 30 to 35. This is called “the flower of her age” in the next clause. If a father would keep his daughter at home past this age, they would say of her, “she passed the flower of her age,” and she would be disgraced in the eyes of many. Forcing her to live a single life may be contrary to her nature, especially if she lacks self-control, and by doing so, he may cause her to be tempted to do that which is improper; to commit fornication, which would damage the reputation of both him and her.

if she pass the flower of her age

If she passes the marriageable age or the age of “full sexual maturity,” she is considered ripe for marriage, and that could occur as early as twelve years and a half old, at which age virgins were judged fit to marry: consequently, the Jews had a saying, “if thy daughter, ‘is ripe’, or has come to ‘the flower of her age,’ make thy servant free and give her to him.” It is well known that in Paul’s day it was regarded as particularly dishonorable to remain unmarried; and the authority of a father, therefore, might be the means of involving his daughter in shame and disgrace. When this would be the case, it would be wrong to prohibit her marriage. Any denial of marriage to an aging daughter would seem inappropriate to a loving parent, who should feel no sense of sin in giving his daughter's hand in marriage.

and need so require,

That is, if circumstances of any kind seem to require her marriage; if she does not have the gift of continence (self-control, having power over sexual desires); if she is in danger of falling into the sin of fornication, and the father or guardian is aware of this; if it will encourage her happiness; and if she would be unhappy, and regarded as dishonored, if she remained in a state of celibacy, she ought to be allowed to marry.

In Corinth, there was a grave danger facing a girl who had reached the age of marriage. If she wanted to marry, and her father would not allow her to do so, she might disgrace her father and ruin her own testimony by marrying the wrong person. In that case, what God intended to be morally beautiful would become morally ugly and bring about a scandal in the church and in the community.