Do You Disappoint Jesus?

Thinking back, I might hang my head in shame, except I now know I was forgiven even before I sinned. Still, I have to think God was really disappointed in me back then. That is a heavy burden I continue to carry. I let God down most of my life. But guess what—He didn't give up on me and eventually I started to spend more time in the church and within a few weeks I decided to become baptized as a Lutheran.

My church attendance kicked up a gear, so I was there most every Sunday. I only attended on Sundays though my wife, Renee attend more often that I did. My mindset was once a week was plenty of church time. Well, things being the way they were, being married with a newborn—the benefits of military service started to seem to be not such a bad idea. So I went to the different Recruiting Offices and enlisted in the army to sign up for a second volunteer tour in Vietnam.

When I joined up, my career goals were to make the rank of Staff Sergeant in a couple of years and go to OCS. Then, if the Almighty Lord was willing, I'd be able to retire as a captain in the army after 17 more years. Everything seemed to work out according to plan. While we were stationed in Germany, Texas, and other places, we went to church once a week. But I felt I wasn't doing as much for God as He wanted me to do.

With my daughter Deanna pregnant and unmarried, we adopted her son Jacob as soon as he was born. So my grandson was my son. The devil was influencing my marriage and a divorce after 30 years was the result. I became an estranged pariah to my first wife, daughter and adopted son. They elected to keep me completely out of their lives and still maintain that attitude—much to my continuing dismay.

For several years I sold furniture for Rooms To Go. Once I retired from RTG I made time to work more for the Lord. As a volunteer, I've helped as a Church usher, finance officer, and prison chaplain. I revisited my baptism and did it the proper way by full submersion. For a couple of years, I served as the chairman of the Church's Baptism Committee. Which may sound more prestigious than it actually was. The main tasks were to fill the baptismal tub filled with warm water, and have the handkerchiefs and towels close at hand. After the service, the laundry and cleanup duties were all mine. Wooooopie!

Sorry to be so verbose on this recap about how I was disappointing to God (and still am(?)) but I came to be more faithful and somewhat more diligent in working for Him.

The Bible is filled with stories of people who disappointed God and Christ. We can start at the very beginning with the downfall of Adam and Eve.

When God saw they had gone against His commands, he was rightfully disappointed. Adam and Eve had everything they needed, but they had chosen to listen to the serpent instead of trusting in God. Remember, Adam and Eve shared just one piece of fruit that they weren’t supposed to eat. For that single sin, God unleashed a series of curses. Eve was afflicted with agonizing childbirths and life's relationship conflicts (Genesis 3:16). What God told Adam is recorded in Genesis 3:17-19.