Divorce & Remarriage Pt.2: "Except For Adultery” - Matthew 5:31-32 Series

Matthew 5:31-32 "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 19:3-12 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 7 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." 10 The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." 11 Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Introduction

We are studying through the Sermon on the Mount and have arrived at the section where Jesus touches on divorce. This is a very difficult topic in Scripture. There are so many different passages that mention divorce, and trying to harmonize them all, and to extract from them principles that will enable us to discern God’s will in situations that are not addressed in Scripture is an extremely difficult and complex study. But as difficult as this issue is, it is crucial that we get it right because there are grave dangers if we err on either side – either by being too lenient or by being too strict. Sometimes people have the attitude, “I don’t know for sure, but I’m going to err on the side of love and leniency.” But love and leniency are not the same thing. There is nothing loving in permitting something Scripture forbids. If God says, “I will punish anyone who does this” and you go ahead and tell someone he can do it, that is not loving. If you tell someone – “It’s OK, I think you can go ahead and remarry” and it turns out that is adultery in God’s eyes – you are guilty of influencing that person to sin. So we definitely do not want to err on the side of leniency.

And so some people see that and say, “I am going to err on the side of holiness and a high view of marriage and strictness when it comes to divorce and remarriage.” But holiness and strictness are not the same thing either. If God permits something, and we forbid it, we are not erring on the side of holiness. You cannot be holier than God. If you are more strict than God on something then that promotes sin, not holiness. And that is especially true when it comes to marriage. Paul makes the argument in 1 Corinthians 7 that those who try to remain single when they are supposed to be married end up falling into sexual sin.

So if it turns out there is some category of divorced people who actually do have the biblical right to remarry, and we tell them they do not have that right and must remain single, and as a result they fall into sexual sin – we are guilty of pushing them into that sin. That is the sort of thing false teachers do.

1 Timothy 4:1-3 The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. …3 They forbid people to marry

It is a serious sin to forbid something God has not forbidden.

So can you see how important it is that we get this right? We really do not want to err on the side of being too lenient, nor do we want to err on the side of being too strict. Both errors push people into sin. So it is crucial that we strive to discover God’s will with as much precision as possible in this area.

Last time I devoted the entire session to Jesus’ main point – that generally speaking, divorce is wrong. And I went on and on about why it is wrong and what is so evil about it. And I talked about why God does not allow it even in the case of really, really hard, painful marriages. If you missed that session, I would strongly urge you to go back and read or listen to it because everything else in this study will most likely be misapplied if you do not have the foundation of that first message. We are going to be talking about exceptions to the rule, and you cannot understand exceptions to the rule if you do not understand the rule.